the particular grief of losing a piece of graffiti that was part of your everyday routes through the city. congratulations "anti-vandalism initiatives" you painted over my dear friend and neighbor

all about love, bell hooks

in memoriam to my fav mural 😔

^also they painted all this dark brown with a giant white box in the center that says "no loitering" smfh

Our local newspaper ran a story about the legendary graffiti artist who recently passed away and. Literally everything about it is fucking insane. I'm insane about it.

So this guy has been extremely active for around fifteen years, during which he spread these beautiful, high quality pieces all over the country, way over a thousand of his standard signature, and probably thousands more. He did completely batshit stuff like literally spray painting an entire train from top to bottom or leaving his signature at the top of a 600ft tall overpass and this whole time, only five people from his crew know who he really is. To everyone else it's a complete mystery.

And then he dies at the age of 35. A few weeks after his death, his crew shows up at his completely unassuming parents' doorstep, reveals who they are and asks if they can host a memorial exhibition of his art.

Turns out, this dude has been leading an insane double life. In the daytime he was a meek little office worker with a partially paralyzed arm and no social life to speak of. In the nighttime he was a fucking legend. Not only did he climb that fucking 600ft overpass, he did it WITH A PHYSICAL DISABILITY. THE MADLAD. And throughout the entire time, fifteen years, he got caught once. ONCE. HE DID ALL THAT UNNOTICED. THAT'S INSANE.

Jason and Roy get "totally platonic married" in an effort to a) secure insurance benefits, b) avoid testifying against one another in court, and c) to be absolutely sure that Bruce can't try to claim power of attorney over Jason. Maybe something happened recently -- Jason was in the hospital, Bruce tried to throw his weight and money around to make medical decisions, Roy had to call Oliver to throw his weight and money around, something like that.

Anyway, the important part is that they get platonically married, even do a goofy not-kiss where Roy covers Jason's mouth with his hand and then kisses the hand while Jason rolls his eyes. Neither of them are taking it at all seriously.

Until later when they're at a cafe and Roy jokingly refers to Jason as "my husband" to the cashier. And they both come to the simultaneous, shattering realization that they really, really like that. They start saying, "You're my husband" and "You're my husband" in the most shocked, awestruck, dumbest voices possible while the baristas try to move them through the line.

Titans: ...what do you have there, Roy?

Roy: oh! This is my daughter, Lian! Say hi Lian!

Titans: She doesn't much look like you...

Roy: oh yeah she takes after her mom more

Titans: and who is she?

Roy: Chessire

Titans: ......the assassin who has tried to kill us so many times?

Roy: Yep!

Titans: ......okay, warn us next time when you get into a relationship, please-

-

Roy: Hey! I know it's been a while, but I thought I should tell you, I'm dating someone!

Titans: oh, we're happy for you! Who is it?

Roy: Red Hood

Titans:

Roy:

Titans:

Roy:

Titans: .....the same Red Hood who cut off people's heads and put them in a bag, attacked the Tower and has tried to kill or maim Batman and everybody else in Gotham multiple times?

Roy: Yep! 🥰

Titans: .......we are sensing a pattern here and it's a worrying one-

Cass picking up TV and Internet slang and incorporating it into her vocabulary with zero irony: Wonderful, amazing, 10/10 no notes.

Babs spending so much time around Cass that she ends up accidentally using that same slang while in Oracle mode and never being able to live it down: Total global communications breakdown. She'd burn the entire Internet to the ground to make sure the footage of her whispering "bazinga" while using a drone to shoot out the tyres of a mob car following Black Canary never reaches human eyes or ears.

But no matter how much technology she destroys there's no going back. Helena has heard her mutter "gg you fuckin noobs" while bypassing goverment firewalls, and no amount of insisting that it's actually a different term with a different meaning among hackers is going to fool a teacher who deals with teenagers on a regular basis. Her reputation is in shambles. The Birds keep buying Cass free drinks as thanks and she has no idea why.

I'm not a hater but so much shit is stupid

Duke and Jason have been banned from being anywhere near each other in costume because the arguments they will break out into is both too intense and too distracting for patrol. Everyone thinks they're serious but after the first 10-20 times they do it for the love of the game.

Duke: Shut the fuck up.

Jason: You shut the fuck up.

Duke: Zombie

Jason: Flashlight

Duke: That's why the joker still alive

Jason: That's why the joker did what he did to ya mom.

Duke: Nigga where ya mom at? Dea—

Bruce over the comms who, along with the entire bat family has been listening to entire thing: Signal, Red Hood! SPERATE! NOW!

They are now giggling as dick and cass drag them apart.

How Dick actually found out:

Roy: Thank you for coming over, I really needed the help since my partner is out of town

Dick: It's okay! You know, you have to introduce us at some point, since- is that my sweater?

Roy: Uh

Dick: It is! My Gotham U sweater! Okay, it was Bruce's at first and I stole it, but he hasn't asked for it! I thought Jason stole it from me!

Roy: Uhh

Dick: Yeah, Jason definitely stole it, it even smells exactly like him! I knew it was him- why is it in your house?

Roy: Uhhhhhh

Dick:

Roy:

Dick: *looks around, sees all of the things that are definitely Jason's all around the house*

Dick: Are you kidding me?

Roy: Dick I can explain

Dick: Explain what? That you are dating my brother??

Roy: ...yeah, exactly that

Dick: ...get out

Roy: what-

Dick: I said get out!

Roy: This is my house!

Dick: Wrong! This is my brother's house, since he lives here, and I'm telling you to get out of my brother's house!

mutuals if tumblr shut down we are moving to email. we will chain email jpegs back and forth forever<3 this is my promise to you

Setting the stage. Duke is trying to create a distraction to cover for Damian sneaking more animals in the mansion.

Duke: so B, I know it's amoral to have a favorite child but, who's your favorite in law?

Bruce: oh no..

Dick, vibrating with the force of sun: It's gotta be Babs. She literally invented the Batgirl mantle! She's arguably the most useful of all of us as Oracle. We wouldn't be half as effective without her. Plus, she's the daughter of your pal Commissioner G!

Cass, not willing to lose, especially to Dick: Uh-uh! Steph is Robin and Batgirl. He wants her to be Family, he always says!

Jason: yeah, my boyfriend is an ex-addict, teenage dad that kills people and loves to explode things, I'm sitting this one out. Have fun.

Tim, thoughtful and ignoring Jason: hang on, he can't technically have them as favorite in-laws because they're part of the family. In that case, Bernard should win. He's smart, from Gotham and hasn't done anything bad ever.

Damian, still covered in feathers: that's debatable Drake, your boyfriend was in a cult. Plus Ortiz at least knows how to defuse bombs!

Duke, remembering his girlfriend was accused of being part of the Latin kings (and was part of We Are Robin): yeah, well, she's lovely but we don't need to get lost in the details

*chaos, screaming amongst the kids. Cass bites someone*

Bruce, staring at the camera: it's Roy. Lian is my first granddaughter and the others need to really get their act together if they want to keep up. Steph is a close second but she didn't keep the baby. Nice try, but no granddaughter.

first they made it mandatory to log in everywhere. create an account to download your free template Log in to access resource give us your email nowwwww. Now the humble password is being killed too. open your magic email link! type your 6 digit code that we texted you because we required your email and your phone number! we’re gonna call you and whisper a code sweetly in your ear so you can log in to your account. yes it has a password but you cant use that anymore. okay? poob is gonna call you. now poob is just gonna call you.

DC needs to give Tim Drake either an age-up + a new suit, or, give him the most badass, diabolical villain arc known to man.

Love it when tim don't tell people SHIT. 'tim tells nobody he has lost his spleen'? Weak sauce. I want Tim to be a complete and utter mystery just by accident.

I want tim to not tell anyone that Bruce is alive. He just vanishes after bruce dies. Nobody can find him. He just shows up months later like hey the LOA is in town protect these specific people. Also Bruce is alive and I know how to find him.

I want tim to be a cryptid within the batfamily. Enough of sad baby 'please be my family' tim. Let him become ungovernable. It's what canon Tim would want. He didn't invent a fake uncle because he thought Bruce didn't want him, he created a fake uncle because he didn't want bruce

I've had this idea rotating in my head for a while about a specific scenario in a universe where nobody is ever clued in on the fact that the bats are related. They just assume that Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood, Nightwing, and everybody else just coincidentally happens to be Gotham (+Bludhaven) based like Batman is.

Do me a favor and imagine the aftermath of some stage five hall hands on deck crisis where everyone and their team has to gather for debriefing and for medical care. Everybody shows up with their respective teams, Nightwing with his Titans, Red Robin with the old members of YJ, Red Hood with the Outlaws, Batman with the JL ect ect.

Everyone is super tired from the battle and none of them are even given a moment to breathe before Red Hood and Red Robin start beefing on sight. Before anybody can even think to intervene, Nightwing, Orphan, Spoiler, Robin, and Signal join in and they all just start bickering at one another.

Everybody thinks they're about to fight. Like seriously start hashing it out. Thing is, YJ are RR's ride or dies. If RR starts fighting Nightwing then the YJ are gonna fight Nightwing. And then the titans are gonna fight the YJ because those are Nightwing's ride or dies. Same goes for all the teams and their respective leaders.

Everyone looks across the room going, "Am I gonna have to fight you? Man, I don't wanna fight you." They could not wanna fight because of the prior battle, out of respect for their potential opponents, or because they know that opponent would whoop their ass. But they'll still do it because that's their leader.

Eventually all of them stop their bickering, suspending the room in tense silence, as they stare each other down. Everybody is bracing themselves for the first punch and the JL is preparing to break up the fight, but instead the silence is broken by all of the birds turning their heads in one direction and yelling, "Daaaaaaddd!"

The room is dead silent enough that everyone can hear Batman's exhausted sigh echo through the room before it's followed by, "You're all grounded."