Assembulator

  It would be funny, if it wasn't so sad, The way that folks believe in God. It's so hard for me to even fathom, How anyone swallows that wad.   The Bible's full of it, so is the Torah, The Quran is simply oozin'. God's got a boat load of Holy Books for ya, Better pick the right one if you're choosin'.   God is a tragic comedy of errors In the beginnin', it was full of mistakes. The Heavenly Angels coulda been more perfect The Garden of Eden had one too many snakes.   No one listened to God from the git-go. By the time of Noah and the flood, Things were so chaotic, it had to start over So it buried the whole mess in the mud.   What kinda plan is that? What's it thinkin'? Why couldn't God get anything right? I'm surprised it's not dark in the daytime And the sun doesn't shine at night.   You can read about Lot, read about Moses, Just read about Adam and Eve. There's not a word written on those pages, That a sane man should believe.   Still, I love those fantastic stories. Very

In the beginning, this one god* farted That's how the universe we know was started "It" got so excited, although it didn't plan it It made a little poopy that became this planet. *this one god, henceforth referred to as: "It". Pronoun: it. When "It" gazed upon the stuff that it had done It expelled a ball of gas that became our sun And so "It" farted, again and again The next thang ya know, there's a woman and a man. Before "It's" stomach settled, there were animals and trees Then it had to make a pee-pee, so we have the seven seas After six days of flatulence, "It" was feelin' purdy rough So the seventh day it rested, 'cause enough is enough. While "It" was soundly sleepin' (a much needed break), It squeezed out some angels (one of them was a snake) It woke up the next mornin' feelin' rested and ready It named the man, Delmer, and the woman, Miss Betty. "It" deemed them its subjects and itself a monarch And generously allowed them to sleep in the park Endowed with a lifetime