I’ve seen a few posts fluctuating about “okay, so do binary trans people have privilege over nonbinary people???”, and, like…

I honestly think this is a question that’s way more complicated than “who is the oppressor and who is the oppressed”. I think there are a bunch of things that are symptoms of cissexism, and that there is a bundle of symptoms that can be called exorsexism, because they only affect nonbinary people.

Even so, nonbinary people are wildly different from each other, which means that some exorsexism experiences will only affect some nonbinary people, and that many nonbinary people also suffer with conditions of a cissexist society that binary trans people also suffer with.

If we compare, say, a transfeminine nonbinary person with a trans woman, well, the transfeminine NB person may have more difficulties getting HRT/surgery if they’re out as nonbinary. The transfeminine NB person may get her gender invalidated even more than the trans woman. It will be harder for an openly nonbinary person to assimilate into society.

Now, if we get an AFAB demigirl, who is non-dysphoric, uses she/her pronouns, and who is 100% fine with being called a girl or woman… she won’t be a target of transmisogyny, she won’t have to suffer to get HRT/surgery if she doesn’t want to, it’s easier for her to not care about coming out, which will shield her from loss of job/housing/family/etc. for being trans.

Still, this AFAB demigirl will still get told she’s just a cis girl, that demigirl is not a real gender, that she has to grow up and learn to respect “real trans people”, shit like that.

(This is just an example, as I’ve seen many demigirls who want to transition, or who are uncomfortable being told they are girls/women, or who don’t use she/her pronouns. Also, it’s worth noting that AMAB demigirls exist and are super valid.)

There are also genders that are harder to understand, and people of those genders might end up being more disrespected if they come out than someone who is just transfeminine nonbinary or a demigirl. Like, say, someone who is dryagender, or dulcigender, or autigender. I’m not saying they are more oppressed, I’m just saying these genders tend to be seen as less socially acceptable, regardless of presentation or dysphoria.

So, we have, under cissexism:

• a scale of “more acceptable genders” to “less acceptable genders”
• a scale of “more acceptable pronouns” to “less acceptable pronouns”
• the belief that assigned sex = gender
• the belief that everyone is either male or female, and that no deviation is far enough to consider the existence of nonbinary people
• a medical system that is considered a trustworthy source on whether you need treatment for your dysphoria or not, that usually has sexist and cissexist beliefs on what it means to be someone of a certain gender, and on whether you can be the gender you say you are
• the mockery of people who dare to defy gender roles, which includes mocking “women who see/dress themselves as men”, and, more prominently, “men who see/dress themselves as women”, which can lead to violence
  
• the belief that trans people are always unattractive/deceptive/inferior
• the belief that our gender binary is the one true system of gender, and that people of other cultures had inferior knowledge for not thinking the same way
  
• and a lot of other things

We have a lot of things that both nonbinary and binary trans people struggle with. We also have some things only nonbinary people struggle with; often with different degrees. And, we have some things some - not all - nonbinary people don’t struggle with, depending on their gender, presentation, and dysphoria.

I also don’t think “passing privilege” is actually a privilege, but I can see how the life experiences of someone who is too dysphoric to stay in the closet are radically different from those of someone who doesn’t mind being in the closet since they don’t feel the need to stop being treated as someone of their assigned gender.

In the end, I think that if we are going to outright say that all binary trans people have privilege over all nonbinary people… we should as well consider that male/female genderfluid people have privilege against neutrois/ambonec/maverique genderfluid people, that neutrois people who have a fixed idea of their transition process and use they/them pronouns are privileged against polygenderflux people who can’t decide if they’ll transition or not and use ae/aer pronouns, and so on.

We still haven’t reached a phase in society where binary trans people are respected, so there’s that. Even if there’s always someone that’s more of an acceptable target, to the point I know of more than one person that stopped identifying as nonbinary to claim a binary identity not because they “grew up”, but because it would be easier to be accepted.

Hey uhh Lyft what the fuck

people who have multiple marginalized identities are allowed to compare those identities and the discrimination they face for being those things.

examples:

• nonbinary bisexuals are allowed to compare what it’s like to be nonbinary and bi, they’re allowed to compare the biphobia and exorsexism they experience, and they’re allowed to talk about how being both bi and nonbinary affects their life.
• ace PoC are allowed to do this with their asexuality and race + the aphobia and racism they experience
• mentally ill physically disabled people are allowed to do this with their mental illness and disability + the ableism they experience for both of these things
• gay trans men are allowed to do this with being trans and gay + the transphobia and homophobia they experience
• etc etc etc

people who are marginalized in multiple ways are allowed to talk about how their various identities interact and how the way they’re marginalized for one thing compares to how they’re marginalized for another. they are doing absolutely nothing wrong or worth “calling out” by doing this. they aren’t saying one form of marginalization is “just as bad” as some other". they aren’t “derailing” the subject of one kind of marginalization by comparing it to another when they experience both.

marginalized people are allowed to talk about their own identities and their own experiences with those identities and that includes how the various things that they are intersect, how they’re alike, and how they’re different.  

Hey uhh Lyft what the fuck

ALT

(Source)

On February 8th, this nonbinary child was violently beaten by three cis girls. The school did not call them an ambulance after the beating was stopped, and they later died in the hospital from head trauma. They have also been deadnamed and misgendered in their obituary and in the news. As the author of the article puts it:

How is that not national news? A 16 year old beaten to death in a public school bathroom? By other students. All these unanswered seemingly obvious questions about what transpired, and how the adults involved acted. That should be every headline.

In fact, almost every local outlet covering the story misgender and deadnames Nex, using their same assigned at birth. The indignities pile on.

We don’t yet know if Nex’s nonbinary identity is directly tied to this incident. But, my God, it sure matters to me that this would happen to any child. A nonbinary kid assaulted in a girl’s bathroom. That outcome from the narrative of anti-trans rhetoric these past years.

Still why wasn’t this story breaking news? It involves a nonbinary student in a public school. And school violence and school police resource officers. It involves the deep fear so many trans youth have shared with me about their schools.

trans people cannot oppress other trans people idk why this is up for debate

the point of both “transmisogny” and “transandrophobia” and “exorsexism” as terms is not to insinuate that one group of trans people is more or less privileged/oppressed than another but to describe the specific ways each subset of the trans community experience oppression, discrimination, and bigotry in different, targeted ways. these terms can overlap. 

transfems are not the only ones who are hurt by transmisogyny, though they are the targets of it.
transmascs are not the only ones who are hurt by transandrophobia, though they are the target of it.
nonbinary people are not the only ones who are hurt by exorsexism, though they are the target of it.

I am absolutely begging you guys to think critically and learn the difference between lateral aggression and oppression.