obsessed w internet speak but specifically these two recent inventions:

1. statement (directly contradictory statement)

ie: “i’m normal now (lying)” or something like. “doing homework (scrolling tumblr).” it’s like a text version of looking directly at the camera. sarcasm but slightly to the left. amazing

2. wacky thought <- reactionary/self aware comment

it’s like?? the closest thing i can think of is movies where the characters break the fourth wall to pause the show and talk to you about it? like emperors new groove or lion king 1 ½? self aware ironic kinda talk show-esque. whatever it is it’s brilliant.

love the way we’re bulldozing english keep it up team

personally this is how i’ll be tracking 2023

feeling this one, calvin

if you spend too many hours online you can cancel out the negative effects by going outside and eating several handfuls of dirt. this works because dirt is the opposite of the internet

i don’t grow out of my interests they simply become absorbed into me as i get older like tree rings

ALT

ALT

ALT

u don’t like shimp? 🦐? (vaporizes you with the power of the sun)

when i was in middle school Rude by bruno mars came on the radio in the car with my mom and at the chorus it goes “why you gotta be so rude, don’t you know i’m human too, i’m gonna marry ya anyway” and my mom now had her Disapproving Aura on and sighed and said. see this is why [my divorced uncle] married [his mean ex-wife]. what a sad way of loving. and 13yo me was like Oh Damn That Deep. and mentally filed away the lesson Popular Music Promotes Toxic Behavior Therefore Don’t Marry Someone Who’s Mean To You. and ever since then rude by bruno mars has made me just a little bit sad. cut to 5+ years later the song is no longer popular. i happen to hear it over the tinny speakers in a random fast food place. all at once i realize the lyrics are not, in fact, about marrying a girl despite her hating you (gonna marry ya anyway), but marrying a girl despite her parents hating you (gonna marry her anyway). 13yo me and my mom misheard the same lyric and never paid attention to the rest of the song. i am flabbergasted. one of the pillars of my childhood development has just crumbled in a Subway. i am frantically realigning my entire internal ethics system. the cashier still wants to know if i’m getting a cookie. nothing is real