Helen Sunflower. 34. Enby/Demisexual/Queer. They/Them. Feminist. British-Canadian. Traveller. English Language Teacher. Artist. Reader. Writer. Dramatist. Whovian. Sci-fi & fantasy lover. Talks too much. Wants more than ordinary. Willing to fight for it. Sometimes NSFW.
the podcast If Books Could Kill has a really great episode on the original book and its legacy! just a bunch of misogynist evangelical bullshit really
I want to clarify something kind of important because this kinda used to be my field. The concept that people express and feel love in different ways, and that this might lead to misunderstandings, IS something with scientific merit. The idea that there are just five and we know what they are is NOT. The idea that people have a primary love language is NOT.
In science, we have a saying. All models are wrong, but some are useful. That’s how I see the love languages framework. It is inherently flawed, but some of its concepts are useful. Communicate with your partner what makes you feel loved and understand what makes them feel loved. Understand how your partner shows love. There is immense value in that. But don’t over-index on which one of the five you are. That part doesn’t matter.
I do think there is a difference between how men and women are socialized to express emotions but I cannot STAND when men twist that to imply that little girls are never told to “stop crying” or women just have a peachy easy time expressing emotion while men are forced to suffer in silence. Like literally women and girls are CONstantly told that we’re hysterical and overdramatic and irrational for expressing emotion and we explicitly get taken less seriously than men do when we express emotion. Be for real.
fake geek girl accusations have always been stupid and misogynistic and racist but the absurdity is really Highlighted when it’s megan. megan thee stallion. lying about liking anime for men’s approval. to impress whom, jeffrey? tyler, is megan thee stallion so worried about attracting you that she’s faking her interests in her own songs? her own chart-topping songs? hunter, are you feeling ok? preston? zachary, do you need a cold wash cloth? how many fingers am i holding up austin
ALT
While all of this is true, I also think it’s worth highlighting the not-insignificant amount of racism in the hateful comments. Their issue isn’t just that a popular or pretty girl likes anime, it’s that a black woman (especially an attractive one) can’t possibly be into anime. It just doesn’t compute, no matter how many black people, celebs or not, show up to cons or cosplay or even just talk about it. I also feel that a lot of the gatekeeping and dismissing her faves as mainstream falls into this category. They keep trying to push her back into the out-group, because from their perspective she can’t possibly be a real fan.
the reason people don’t like the marvels and madame web has got to be misogyny because haven’t you noticed that ALL the marvel and sony movies in the past few years have been bad. they’re criticised every time for their plots and their cheesy writing and their bad cgi. like i can’t name many superhero movies in the past 5 years that have really been GOOD but people don’t watch superhero movies because they think they will be technically good, they watch them because they are cool and fun and action-packed! and yet the female-led movies do the worst and are the most heavily criticised? yeah just say you’re a misogynist and go!
a female-led film that is technically bad is ALWAYS more heavily criticised than a male-led film that is technically bad because of misogyny.
as soon as a female-led film is announced, people on the internet are screaming that it’s terrible before a single scene is shot.
“The choice not to marry isn’t necessarily a conscious rejection of marriage.It is the ability to live singly if an appealing marriage option doesn’t come along”
—
Rebecca Traister, author of All the Single Ladies, on the declining marriage rates among adult women.
We spent a generation telling girls they can do anything they dream of, but never at any point did anyone think to tell boys that they have to meet girls halfway.
The result is we have a generation of men who continue to believe they are entitled to all the marital, social, economic and political privileges their 1940’s counterparts had, and a generation of women who know they deserve true partnership and refuse to settle for table scraps.
Men love to blame women who who are treated poorly by men by saying it’s women’s fault for having low standards.
Well here we have statistical proof of what happens when women raise their standards.
ALT
