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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Sweary Owl House (Pilot episode)

So I guess I'm doing an episode of this

negative-speedforce asked:

This hit me right in the AuDHD ass lol, this was 14 year old me tbh

The reality for far too many people sometimes, I fear

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Hope you enjoyed this episode!

For the moment, at least, I won’t be doing any more. This month I’m doing ZD30 (the screenwriting equivalent of NaNoWriMo), as well as trying to finalise Snowflakes to submit to the BBC Open Call, so my time currently is very limited and I just don’t have the space to continue.

There’s also some other reasons I won’t bore you with, but safe to say, I can’t carry on for now. In the future? Who knows?

But it has been fun for me, and I hope it has been for you too.

Don’t forget to be weird as fuck.

-Alice

Eda: You help me piss off the cops and I'll teach you how to be a witch. Deal?

Luz looks at them both for a moment.

Luz hugs them. Eda: Wait, wait, what the fuck is happening?

King: Ow! My goshdarn ribs!

Eda: Look what you did! You made him swear.

King: Sorry, Mom.

Beat.

King: We can... we can forget I just said that, right?

Hooty: Fuck no, hoot hoot.

sweary owl house tohedit eda hooty king 1x01 and that's the pilot

Luz: Just let me stay and I promise I'll do whatever you need to help out

Eda: Are you comfortable with committing fraud?

King: ooh, don't forget the theft

Eda: Yeah, so basically about 50% of what you do here will be a crime. We cool with that?

Luz: Yeah, fuck it. Beats sitting in a summer camp.

Eda: Is this morally dubious of me?

Eda: Eh, I don't care. Welcome aboard, kiddo.

sweary owl house tohedit eda king luz 1x01

Luz: I've made my choice. I'm going to stay here and become a witch, like Azura.

Luz: And also a beloved children's character. Like Azura.

Eda: You want to become a beloved character? Who the fuck would let you do that?

Luz: I was hoping Disney

Eda: Disney?! You think... Are you straight, Luz?

Luz: I'm bi, why'd you ask?

Eda: It's Disney. You'd get cancelled.

That’s for season 3, Mouse.

sweary owl house tohedit eda luz 1x01

Luz: I know you think the human world is some kind of total paradise.

King: I have never once thought that

Eda: Yeah, you guys are fucked up.

Luz: Point is, if I step through that door, I go back to a place where nobody understands me.

Luz: Somewhere that any time I'm happy, I get punished or diagnosed with something.

Luz: I'm a weirdo.

Luz: But so are you. And you said it yourself, you find someone who gets you, you hold onto them

Luz: So let me hold on to you two, okay?

sweary owl house tohedit eda king luz 1x01

Eda: You should take your shit back with you. Unless you'd like me to sell it?

Eda: But I guess you probably need it in the human world.

Luz: Not all of it...

Luz looks at the portal door, lamentingly

Luz: Okay, this is gonna sound like a really fucking stupid idea...

Eda: Oh, like the rest of today wasn't?

sweary owl house tohedit eda luz 1x01

Eda: Suppose I should hold up my end of the bargain and send you back home

Eda: Good thing you didn't lose that key, huh?

Luz: I've... I've really got to go?

King: Isn't your life in the human world way more fun and less dangerous?

Luz: It fucking should be! But no.

Luz: Hey, you should have this. Where I'm from, we don't really have the best history with kings. But you are by far the best of them.

King: But kings are flipping awesome! What could they have done where you're from that was so bad?

Luz: Yeah, let's not get into that right now.

sweary owl house tohedit eda king luz 1x01

King: Never thought I'd see someone commit attempted murder with fireworks

Eda: he's fine, King. He was able to run away

King: Yeah, flocking screaming in pain!

Eda: Ignore that. I'm sure you did absolutely nothing that will traumatise you and haunt you for years.

Eda: Unless that's the kind of shit you humans like. Either way, we should head back home.

Eda: You coming, Luz?

King: Son of a biscuit, FINALLY!

sweary owl house tohedit eda king 1x01

mechanical-magpie asked:

It's quality content like this that keeps me coming back to your work, Alice.

Also, Luz seems to be channeling Glimmer at the moment. I like it.

I just love how it tends to go

Luz: No violence.
Someone else: But what if… violence?
Luz: Okay VIOLENCE!!

and honestly, who could blame her?

Katya: Okay, bitch, you're going down!

Katya: We've had enough of hiding ourselves.

Katya: And for the record, a carrot pegging a courgette is NOT depraved

Luz: Yeah! What she said! Except for the horrifying vegetable sex part.

Luz: Now taste the pain, motherfucker!

Luz throws some fireworks. Be responsible with fireworks, kids

Warden: Oh, fu-

A pretty fireworks display. Let's not think about the horrific burns the warden must be suffering

sweary owl house tohedit katya luz warden 1x01