Poly Moods and Vibes etc (Posts tagged polyamory)

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

unishine asked:

I don't have much to say, but I am very thankful a blog like this one exists. Thank you!

To keep this an ask somehow, what are your opinions on all the polyamory flags? My favorite is the tricolor with a yellow heart, and the one with a pi symbol has always hurt my eyes with its contrasting colors and the symbol makes me confused on the origins of the flag. I've never seen the flag in your pfp!

You don’t have to have a question! Just as my neighbors are welcome to come by to borrow a cup of sugar or chat about the weather, my community here can always drop me a line 🥰

About the flag – you must be new here. I say that with no judgement! Everyone has to start somewhere, and we’re happy to have you! But you’ve enrolled in a history lesson: the flag used in my icon is a variation on the OG polyamory flag you referenced, that tried to fix some comment complaints while staying true to the original as much as possible. I picked one that has slightly darker/less saturated colors (for the eyestrain😵‍💫) and the infinity heart symbol (more intuitive representation).

Before we go any further I do want to say I don’t begrudge anyone any flag they want to use. We have way way way more important shit to worry about than *checks notes* someone using their crayons to color stripes a color we don’t like. But I have talked about the new flag thing as it was happening and again here so I won’t waste my breath on that. Now, back to the history lesson! 🧑‍🏫🦴

So what’s with the pi π symbol? Love, like the digits of pi, is inexhaustible, endless. This is always true, but especially relevant in polyamory. Where the assumption is that “if you really loved the first person, you wouldn’t be able to fall in love with a second” reaffirming that you can actually love without limits is a very salient point to make! Same with fears of you “loving the other person more” or that polyamory is just “shopping around” with the end goal to find one person to monogamous with (but without ever having to be single). We can and do love infinitely, plus there’s a cute little joke with these being called “irrational” numbers and love not always being that rational!!

While I went with the infinity heart because its easier to sus out and I don’t want people I don’t know asking me if I’m some kinda math nerd when I show off pride stuff, I think that underlying reasoning is very important to remember. Don’t hate on the pi symbol! (And you know, don’t hate on any of the flags, either)

My final and most important thought on the polyam flags is that they’re all dating 💕💞

there are also other more obscure flags but I'm not getting into those poly pride flag poly flag polyamory Thanks for dropping by!! I'm very glad you like the blog ^.^ ask box is always open opinion column Poly history
queencatradora
queencatradora

this post is dedicated forevermore to three people i just saw tonight outside the gay club in the most beautiful interaction of beautiful people i’ve ever seen in my life. it was so beautiful i had to come here to talk about it. like actually writing it out is fucking insane. let me set the scene: two of the hottest men i’ve ever seen in my life were making out with each other outside the gay club…and then picture the HOTTEST woman, i mean quite literally the fucking SEXIEST, jaw-dropping, smoothest skin, nicest-smelling woman running up to the both of them from out of nowhere, i don’t even know where she came from — literally she probably descended from heaven itself (or from the inside of the club and i didn’t see her come out lmao)…the two men see her out of the corner of their eyes, their eyes fucking LIGHT UP when they see her. and not in like a bestie way, like an “i’m in love” way. oh bitch they both had it BAD for her. and THEN!!!! they passionately kissed…ALL THREE OF THEM!!! THEY HAD HER PUSHED AGAINST THE WALL TAKING TURNS KISSING HER!!! and then like the ethereal creatures of the night they were, they locked hands with her, and walked away into the foggy night hand-in-hand together…one of the men gently tucked one of her locs behind her ear and called her princess as they walked away…i would like to personally say, i am a better person for having watched that interaction. thank you. your life is a movie and i was so glad i got to be an extra in that moment. this is the future liberals want and all that

Poly wins Polyamory Poly positivity bisexuality

Anonymous asked:

i use tumblr primarily for lurking and scrolling so i'm not familiar with ask blogs and the terms used. so sorry if this is better suited for another blog, but i couldn't find one. :(

poly / non-monogamy.. i've personally felt that at least right now, it's not for me. but stuff that happened in the past nags at me sometimes; i wonder if it could've worked out if i had been better at communicating. i'm trying my best to understand it. it feels like a pretty diverse spectrum so far.

both me and my previous partner are both nonbinary/genderqueer, pan~bi ish, they were my first relationship. they've dated primarily men in the past and i was the first.. afab i suppose. so from that, i agreed to them continuing having sex with other people (casual sex they were having prior to our relationship starting, continued within relationship) i suppose i was worried i wont be enough? that i would lose them if i didn't agree? not sure. when it actually happened, i was not a fan of the feelings and thoughts it caused me, and attempted to find a compromise between our lifestyles.

when asked about it, asking them if we could take a break and try to be closed off for a bit, they told me our relationship is already closed/mono. this confused me because i find a lot of comfort in labels (not sure if this is a bad thing; they aren't a fan of labels) and this didn't feel like being 'closed'.

another mention was that sex with other people was emotionless, that they feel nothing when they have casual sex. sex for me feels like a really big trust barrier to cross, for me to feel safe with someone to do that.

i may not understand it for myself but i still wish someone could explain it to me.. so i can at least try and understand.

While this is nothing against you, asker dear, I don’t really see myself as an ask blog? Easy to think that because I take a lot of asks (especially recently)! But I don’t see that as The Sole Purpose of this blog, if that distinction matters. Anyway.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again and again. A relationship can fall through even though you did nothing wrong. You can be fundamentally incompatible in an important way even though neither person is right or wrong. Could better communication have saved this one? idk, maybe? Communication is foundational to any relationship, but easily triply so for poly (or as in this case, otherwise nonmong) ones. But it is not a guarantee. And if I can be real with you, my nameless friend? Its not usually super productive to focus on those what-ifs.

Let that sink in first, and if you still want more opinion, click through

Keep reading

polyamory what is polyamory like ask box is always open poly/mono relationships

Anonymous asked:

Is it weird that trying polyamory confirmed my asexuality in a way? Like, I find both of the people involved aesthetically attractive and I’m not sex-averse at all, it’s just not a driving factor in my life at all, even when I’m around them. But somehow, expanding my horizons not only taught me something new (in that polyamory is actually something I jive with personally) but also that I am asexual and that’s perfectly okay too.

I don’t know, I just think it’s amazing how many different ways there are to relate to each other and how we can teach each other things without even meaning to.

I mean, weird insofar as it’s not a super common experience? Sure

But like, every post I make about asexuality has dozens of people going “yeah I’m ace and poly and those two things are related” in the notes.

“Weird” in any sort of negative sense? Absolutely not! I agree that it’s incredibly cool how we can all enrich each other’s understanding of ourselves. We have so much to gain as a community, and one of my favorite parts of running this blog has been getting to witness so many connections others have made, just like this.

Here’s to more identities and deeper understandings yet to come 🥂

Asexuality Polyamory Ask box is always open Queer queer community
las-lus

chilipowder9 asked:

hello!!

what makes a throuple harder than other poly relationships? is it not just a three-person polycule? do people seriously try to force throuples? why not just "oh A and B are dating and B loves C and it just so happens to work out that A also loves C and WAOW how cool! C loves A too! crazy!" like??? is this actually a problem???? people try to force this???? what????????

polyamorousmood answered:

I think a large part of people’s discomfort come with some of the problems common in unicorn hunting 🦄 . Which is to say, yeah, trying to force a triad, or force it to be a closed tried. Some people have also had bad experiences with breakups – if you break up with one but want to keep dating the other, its pretty easy for that to spiral into something very messy one way or the other. And then there’s this belief that there’s gonna be One True Couple 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 and A Third Wheel 🛞🚴.

Which like, all these things are possible. But there are a lot of people on this bitch of an Earth and I think stranger things have happened than *checks notes* exactly three people being happy loving each other. 🤷

las-lus

I think a lot of people approach a triad/throuple as "monogamy but with 3". A big part of being in non monogamous relationships is working through a lot of preconceived ideas that we grew up into and learning to deal with our own insecurities and anxieties. If you think "oh this will be Just Like Monogamy But With More Sex" and do none of the work, you will eventually fuck it up!!

It's not that a triad needs to be open to work, btw, it's just that it's inherently polyamorous to date 2 people

chilipowder9

wild

as someone VERY new to polyamory, what's the difference between monogamous with two and polyamorous, in this case that sounds like a stupid question but hear me out

there are like threeish relationships present (might be counting wrong: A/B, A/C, B/C) so just.. nurture those relationships? I mean, okay, for complete ease of my understanding I'm gonna assume for this hypothetical that A, B, and C all are equally in love with each other

how is a poly relationship different than a monogamous one in the way that the dynamic is, I think is my question? like... you show care and affection and really listen to and learn abt your partner in a healthy monogamous relationship, how is that different in a poly one, just More Than Once?

soso sorry if this is a dumb question I just will not learn this on my own and do NOT want to hurt people

las-lus

No don't worry!! Not a dumb question at all!

What is different is that whenever you're adding more people to your relationship, you need to work through some things!

Monogamy teaches us that your romantic partner is the most important person in your life, that will fulfill you and your dreams. We are used to being your partner's priority all the time.

But if you're dating two people, even if you consider them both your priority/the most important people, you will need to share that time and attention. Compromising in your own relationship with your on partner(s) is, of course, important in any relationship, but its harder when you add more.

I think its easier if i use a personal example! I hope you dont mind 😅

My partner used to date a close friend of mine, and while we weren't a throuple we were frequently together. However both me and his girlfriend have depression and we had a crisis at the same time. Both of us were used to relying on him and neither of us could leave the house. He had to choose who to help. That was hard for all three of us. He weighed our situations and chose her (which was the best call at the time btw). That felt like shit to me. I felt left behind, betrayed, and I had to take a lot of time to deal with the idea that I wasn't his priority when I wanted him to be.

And. Listen. I had been non-monogamous for almost 8 years by the time that happened. I had no idea how much i still relied on that idea, because that situation had never happened before.

And it felt shit for my partner, because he felt like he was betraying me. And whenever he feels like shit he wants time alone - which is the opposite of what I need. AND it also sucked for his girlfriend, because it felt like she had hurt me.

And we had that situation a few times after that. It got easier because we put in the effort to make it easier. But this means getting a bigger support network and knowing the difference between what you need and what you want.

I want to say, I think a lot of monogamous relationships can face a similar issue! Your romantic partner doesn't have to be the most important person in your life, and sometimes you can't be there for someone you love. But when you're dating more than one person this becomes the default.

A lot of monogamous couples get jealous of things like playing too much videogame or having friends, lmao, so keep that in mind.

Aaaand also welcome to your journey! I said its a lot of work but it's also so much fun and worth it. And honestly its the kind of work that makes life easier and lighter. Don't be too afraid about making mistakes either, hurting people is part of life, the important thing is apologizing and trying to get better!

Oh god this is a long reply I'm sorry lmao. Feel free to dm if you want to talk tho ^^

polyamorousmood

I think this is a great example of how there can be conflict even when you do everything right – and how the conflict can be overcome and resolved.

Polyamory usually does work the same as monogamy in the ways @chilipowder9 described in that yeah you’re just trying to show you care and its incredibly possible to do that with more than one person (you already are if you have parents, siblings, and/or friends in your life!). But while there are several other differences, for me this is one of the bigger ones. The assumed prioritization gets a little fucky-wucky.

And if you’re doing it right, 98% of the time it won’t be an issue, but occasionally stuff like all that above comes up. And its okay to be upset about it, especially in a crisis like that, but the more you can accept the dual truths that you can make it through things alone and that you have other people to lean on if you really want, the easier it’ll be. For everyone involved. (As an aside, holiday dinners are a big, non-crisis time this comes up, so have a plan for those, too.)

And this can come up other times. Caring for sick family can make your romantic partner de-prioritize you, for instance. But polyamory really raises your chances of having to deal with it at any given time.

polyamory opinion column polyamorousmood original post

Anonymous asked:

i’m aromantic and started hooking up with my ex (we’re cool) and their gf and it’s been amazing!! i’ve kinda always thought about poly but having a threesome confirmed it. i’m so excited to explore more polyamory!!

I’m so happy for you!!

💙💖🖤🩶🤍💚

Its a really great feeling when it can all work out like that 😊There’s truly so much joy to be had here, and I’m so excited you’re experiencing it now, too!!

We’re happy to have you, friend 👋

polyamory aromanticism ask box is always open