citizen-zero:

Imma keep it real with you chief. This will not improve the standing of Brandenburg-Prussia.

annabelle–cane:

annabelle–cane:

[coughing up blood] please, I require… media that will make me feel as bad as is physically possible…

what kind of five act tragedy is befalling the national hockey league

youngalientype:

prideprejudce:

have you ever seen a tweet that just knocks you the fuck out

keepcalmandcarriefischer:

riverscuomoforcefem:

charl0ttan:

yonkers is such a deeply unserious name for a place. i bet nobody even dies there

no they do i know cause i once saw the headline “7 dead in Yonkers incident” and said “what the fuck is a Yonkers incident”

Fuckin wild

wistaliia:

it’s almost drac season :-)

its-funnytwittertweets:

iwasrightaboutthesun:

millenianthemums:

i want a shirt that has a QR code on it for some kind of horrible malware so that if anyone ever tries to film me in public their phone will automatically scan the code and be reduced to a functionless brick

Modern day Medusa

sumetal:

Me: hi! Welcome to Lids, can I help you find anything?

Customer: yeah, I’m looking for a Yankees fitted. In all black.

My coworker Steven the wicked dark elf paladin: perhaps a blood-weeping crown of thorns would look good

derinthescarletpescatarian:

sycamorality:

💯 but its 000 for when something’s fuckall

To an Australian this looks like you’re emphatically calling emergency services

millenniumlesbian:

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned my hc that post-canon Atem gets rapidly addicted to mobile games but like. he does. Atem texts with the sweetly polite and grammatically-correct bearing of a facebook grandma and can never remember what an emoji is called but it takes him under five minutes of having his own cell phone to figure out you can play infinite games on them. He has absurdly good luck with every gatcha and has developed a fierce online tetris rivalry with a middle-aged housewife in Kyoto. Atem’s phone battery is constantly drained by notifications from off-brand bejeweled and a version of angry birds that’s stealing his geolocation and if you even dare suggest turning some of them off he will look at you like it’s season zero and you just cheated at parcheesi. What the fuck are you talking about. He has to do his dailies, Kaiba