when olivia rodrigo said “tried so hard to be everything that you like/ just for you to say you’re not the compliment type” and when chappell roan said “And I try to be the chill girl/That holds her tongue and gives you space” and when richard siken said “Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love… it’s like a religion. it’s terrifying. no one will ever want to sleep with you” and when mitski said “So if you need to be mean/Be mean to me” and dodie said “I kissed someone because it’s fair/ Oh, do I tell you, would you care?/ So deeply hurt, you beg for who/ Or are you kissing someone too?” and when boygenius said “I came prepared for absolution, if you’d only ask/ So I take some offense when you say, ‘No regrets’” and when girl in red said “So, I’ll be willing to let this die, / Able to look you right in the eyes, / Say I’m not your consolation prize” and when
So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:
“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”
And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”
“He’s three.”
“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”
And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.
The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.
So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”
“is he very verbal?”
“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”
“was it hard to potty-train him?”
“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”
“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”
“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”
“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”
“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”
“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”
“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”
it’s amazing the entire dashboard is just old things. shakespeare. arthuriana. gargantua. the epic of gilgamesh. the brothers karamazov. beowulf. wuthering heights. medieval mystics. dracula novel discourse. lawrence of arabia 1962. al pacino. die girlies auf tumblr are thriving and having a ball going about as if media stopped happening post 2010
It’s not just to have a “do over” that doesn’t involve the original cast, it’s to cut them out of the royalties. Literally the entire point is to make sure all the money made by Harry Potter goes to transphobes or people willing to work with transphobes.
If you watch it, you are supporting bigotry, hate, and oppression. That’s just objective reality. All for a story that you probably have already seen in movie and book form.
There’s people in the notes saying they’re going to watch it anyway, and you know, I understand how you can start feeling so burned out and numb from the world that it may feel too hard to avoid things that will give you a little immediate relief in some way in order to avoid the long-term impact of funding these things.
But. If you can’t bring yourself to avoid watching it, you better at least fucking pirate it.
FYI, Rowling posted this today. She is actively queerphobic, do not support this project in anyway.
I know that this was a foundational thing for so many people. I was one of them. Without Harry Potter, I probably wouldn’t be the person I am today.
If you’re thinking about watching this anyway because you feel all that nostalgia: It’s time to grow up. It’s time to move on.
Don’t even hate watch it. Make it fail.
It is the easiest thing ever to simply not do anything.
RIGHT ANYWAY, semi-functioning again. Here’s some generic tips for Americans (and beyond) in these trying times.
Limit Your Social Media News Consumption
Seriously, you need to set specific times to be aware of what’s going on, and then you need to put down your phone. Many of the things that are happening are beyond your control. Doomscrolling is paralyzing. Do not fall into despair loops. This helps no one and it especially does not help you.
Make a channel in your Discord group for dumping things in and leave it to that. Find ways to plug into your local community - talk to your local library, check your local subreddit, pay attention to local events. But you also must give yourself a break from all of the above for your own mental health.
Pick a set time at night and put down your phone. Don’t scroll through it before bed, don’t start scrolling the second you get up. Form firm habits that allow you to rest and take care of yourself. It’s important to be aware of what’s happening, but it does not require your constant attention.
Do Things For Yourself
In addition to making art, it’s important to find ways to keep yourself grounded. Take a class you’re interested in. Go to that book club. See if there’s a local group into that hobby you want to start. Need to brush up on your technical skills? See if there’s some online classes that you can take (and get a certificate for!).
Don’t over-commit (I say, having signed up for three different activities this year), but it is vital to take time to do things for yourself to stay grounded. Having other things to focus on is going to help. I’m taking a strength-building exercise class and German lessons, and having to focus on squats and gendered nouns for certain hours of the day has been so helpful in keeping me going. Give it a try.
(You don’t have to try German, just to be clear. I just think it’s a neat language.)
You Do Not Have to Constantly Rearrange Your Priorities
I donate monthly to my local animal shelter. That’s still going to be an important thing to do. I reblog things I don’t have the funds to contribute to myself. That’s still useful to do. I’m still going to pay for my patreon subscriptions, because I am supporting people I like and want to succeed.
There are some things you can do. If you are in a position to cancel Amazon Prime, you should probably do that. But some people can’t, because they don’t have a more reliable way to get certain necessities, and that’s fine. If you’re in a position to close your Meta accounts, that seems like a good call. However, while I’ve currently got mine locked down, I need my Instagram for professional reasons, and it’s my only point of contact for certain people. I hate it, but I’ve made the decision to keep using it. There’s no morally perfect options out there.
Think Local and Connect with Community
You cannot do anything about most of the terrible things happening. You can, however, make connections to the people around you and find ways to support yourself and others. You can find places to volunteer. You can participate in your local political groups and keep up-to-date on protests and political action. You can keep pressure on your local politicians with phone-calling and letter campaigns. Making connections to others will help you find ways to feel useful and help, even if it doesn’t feel like you can.
Most importantly, though, MAKE SURE YOU ARE SAFE. If you’re a vulnerable minority in a deep red state or desperately need to keep your head down at your job, you need to make decisions that are best for you. You cannot help others if you yourself are also drowning, and that is okay.
There are still some small things everyone can do. Boycotts of certain products and companies (shout-out to all of Canada, keep it up and I hope for nothing but the best for y'all) is something you can do that doesn’t put you at risk. Stay connected to like-minded friends. Stock up on masks and get your vaccines. Have an emergency-prepared plan in cases of natural disasters (always a good plan).
Hang in there. Sometimes you’ll spiral, everyone will. But keeping your head above water and building steps to pull yourself up from those holes will be essential.
I haven't figured out much yet, and it's looking doubtful that I ever will, but I can share this little nugget of wisdom: love what makes you happier and better.
