This sure is a blog

tags by @yoshiintheweb

more info on this r/hobbydrama post

Yknow one thing about the minecraft movie I do like is the interactions I get to have at work because of it (I work in a movie theater)

That being said, never felt more like a villager than in this moment

Alien Romulus is a great time. Also, cognitive reframing is a profoundly powerful tool for coping with and managing powerful emotions. I’ll always be sad that I can’t carry my own children, but dysphoria doesn’t have to own that feeling.

"Hi y'all, it's Chronomaster42, the only Youtuber with the ability to travel through, and control, time and space, here with another taste test. I'm here in 1976, and I'm gonna get some fries from Mickey D's before they changed the recipe, and then I'm gonna take 'em back to 2022, and get fries from the same McDonald's, so I can compare. Now, I've got my Nixon, uh, Ford? Carter? Era fries right here, so now I'm gonna"

*everything appears stretched and distant, and then the camera flies through space, through the sun, over millions of different Earths, past the faces of individual people in a thousand different timelines, splintered day by day, the long-dead alive once more, their varied futures lying before them. They appear to be screaming*

"annnnnd here we are, gettin' the new fries, today. I have to say, I like the old fries a bit better, bit more crisp, but Mickey D's fries are still Mickey D's fries, y'know? Anyway, I know some of you guys were freaked out at all the screaming time faces last video, but like, I'm used to 'em, and they aren't even audible to me? But y'know what is audible? That's right - Audible, use code -"

"Hi y'all, it’s Chronomaster42, the only Youtuber with the ability to travel through, and control, time and space, here to respond to some allegations."

"Lots of you are saying, Chronomaster42, why don't you stop World War II? And I keep saying that I can't change history. History's got, like, antibodies, and these haters eject me back to my time if I do anything that'll change anything. Like the space time con...tainium doesn't want me traveling around time."

"And before you start bringing up that guy who erased...France? The fuck is France? From ever existing, that wasn't me, you guys. Get your facts straight. That was @true_chronomaster, the only TikToker with the ability to travel through, and control, time and space. i have nothing to do with the Evil Leaper Challenge. I don't have a shadow self. But y'know what I do have? Some words from our sponsor, Raid: Shadow Legends -"

"Hi y'all, it's Chronomaster42, the only Youtuber with the ability to travel through, and control, time and space, and today I'm gonna be doing the challenge Gamer_Springtrap2011 gave me, where I'm travelin' back in time to finally figure out which religion is true, and then I'm gonna make a tier list so we can put all this drama about which religion's the right one behind us and just settle on one of 'em that's the best. Like, finally, you know?"

"But before we go back in time to see if Adam and Eve was real, we've gotta check in with our sponsor, Adam and Eve, discreet packaging and shipping -"

"Hi y'all, it's Chronomaster42, the only Youtuber with the ability to travel through, and control, time and space, still sorry to every world religion, though like, you should really be mad at Gamer_Springtrap2011 for trolling me so hard. I got trolled guys. I'm sorry for my video 'CHALLENGE: I get this guy sitting under a tree in India to break his concentration'. I'm sorry for my video 'WHOA: I told a Roman cop where a guy was and got THIRTY SILVER COINS?!?!?' and shout out to Judas for catching my strays. Like, guys, I'm sorry. You should be mad at Gamer_Springtrap2011 though."

"Anyways, I've got this cool new money-making opportunity in the past. So like, what if we take things from the past, and sell them now? I found this guy with all this metal in his house, and it turns out nowadays they'll pay a lot for it 'cause normally you can only get copper from people stealing wire to pay for meth, but this is really good, honest copper. But like, I've gotta preserve history and shit, so I've been taking his copper and replacin' it with painted rocks. I think people are realizing 'cause every time I go to his house the copper guy's real mad and carrying stone tablets, it's funny. That Earnie Sir guy may be selling bad metal, but if you want real metal to hang on your walls, check out our sponsor Displate -"

"Hi y'all, it's TimeController73, the one EbaumsTuber with the ability to travel through, and control, time and space, and I uh, think I might have messed up the continuum a bit. I'm gonna take some time to fix it, but you know who will have the movie you want to stream right now? Today's sponsor, Blockbuster+..."

"Hello y'all, it's ChronoMaster42, the only Youtuber with the ability to travel through, and control, time and space, and we've gotta talk about something important. Earlier this month I asked to ride that submersible down to the Titanic. They said no 'cause I didn't have enough money. So, like, I thought, man, you can control time and space! Go back to the real thing."

"But thing is, I got back there, right, and I was hopin' I could push Leo back on that raft 'cause the two of them could totally fit, CinemaSins had the real shit on that, but get this: he wasn't even there? Like, the two of them aren't even real? I looked all over the Titanic for 'em and I ended up falling from the ship when it broke in half so I made a portal under me, and it's kind of scary that I could have died on the Titanic and not been able to make content anymore. If I died in 1912 and didn't have new videos the algorithm would deprioritize me, y'know? It's so scary to think about. And like, I know I said the screaming faces of everyone's potential futures didn't get to me but man, they kinda get to you when there's also a lot of people screaming in the water."

"When I got back to 2023 I had two boxes on my doorstep. One was unmarked and just had a note in it saying 'THEY ARE COMING. THE RECKONING IS NEAR. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE, AND THE ANTIBODIES GROW. YES, THEY DO GROW, AND THEY HUNGER.' And I'm kinda hungry too, 'cause I didn't eat on the Titanic, so it's good that the other was my first meal kit from today's sponsor, Hello Fresh..."

“Hi, y’all, it’s ChronoMaster42, the only Youtuber with the ability to travel through, and control, time and space, and I’ve got some exciting news. I’m gonna be collabing with Mr. Beast on a new challenge video where we, like, go back in time and try to survive for seven days. It’s gonna be cool as hell. We wanted to go back to Imperial China, but Mr. Beast said he was afraid we might not be respectful enough to the Emperor and thus would commit 大不敬, one of the Ten Abominations, and due to our non-noble status, we wouldn’t be able to rely on the “八議” or ‘Eight Deliberations’. Which, like, fair ‘nough. So we settled on our backup plan, which is a lot safer: France in 1916! Man, I can’t wait to see the Eiffel Tower before it got all old stuff and like, we’re gonna see it! Stay tuned, guys!”

ALT

ALT

*deep breath*

“Hello, you all. It’s ChronoMaster42, and normally I’m the only Youtuber with the ability to travel through, and control, time and space. But today...I’m the only Youtuber who’s sorry they got Mr. Beast exploded.”

“I am. I know everyone’s canceling me, they’re canceling everyone just cause – it was his idea to go back to the Western Front anyway, and…”

*sigh*

“I’m sorry. I understand how upset you all are at the exploding of Mr. Beast. I want to apologize to the internet and to the whole Chrono crew, ‘cause I know I, uh, *stares into the camera* have changed a lot as a human being, and I’m disappointed in myself more than I’m disappointed in...myself, for going too far? Man, I don’t know what I can do to make it right.”

“I’ve been reflecting. I mean. Reflecting and I’m sorry and like, I understand. I’ll never explode Mr. Beast again. Though...he’s kinda already exploded...and I…don’t think I can re-explode him...”

“*deep breath*”

“I’m sorry for my actions, and I want to move on from this and make videos in the future, with my sponsor...with my sponsor...with my...*furious clicking*...I...don’t have a sponsor. I’ve...I’ve been demonetized! No! No, no, no...let me appeal. Let me appeal…”

“*click*”

A cloud appears behind ChronoMaster42, a swirling vortex through which one can see flashes of times from across all of history, across many timelines; it advances on him.

“What – uh, antibodies, you’re not, like, supposed to be in the present! ‘cause it’s not fixed and shit, and -!”

The cloud envelops ChronoMaster42, who screams, a trail of faces screaming into infinity within the cloud as he, and the antibody, vanish. Stream runs for over four hours with a shot of his empty room, until it’s turned off by a sudden power failure.

Hey guys, it’s ChronoMaster42, the only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only only ȏ̸̱n̴̬̽l̷̐ͅy̴̹̅ ̶̭̉ò̷̦n̶̡̐l̴̫̓y̶̟͝ ̴̞̿o̵̪͠n̸̡̉l̵̺̍y̸̜̌ ̸̲̅ò̵̥n̷̩͗l̵͈͂ÿ̴̰́ ̷̟̐ȏ̷̭n̴͖̆l̶̪͠ỳ̴̘ ̵̳͗ơ̸̟n̶̗̽ļ̵̿ÿ̶̫́ ̷̱͒o̴͇̊n̵̕ͅl̸̂͜y̵̱̾ ̵͎̈́ǒ̸̼n̷̺͐l̸̯̉ŷ̶̹ ̸͙͐ȯ̶̻n̷̺͗l̴̝̀y̵͇̋ ̵̫͆o̴̞͘n̵͙̓l̴͎͌y̴͓͐ ̸͓̏o̵͙͝n̷̥͘l̵͈̓y̸͈͘ ̴̬̒o̶̧͔̻̥͖͔͙͂̂͛̅́̒̎̓̓̿̇͊͛̀̉͂͂͑̚̚͝͝͝͠͝n̴̨̡̛̺̥̯̥͇̟̩̜̱̖̰͔͍͖̥̲͈̯̙̠̰̬̠̝̟̘̭̱̫͈̩͌͆͒͐̎͋̍͌̋͐̆̒̆͛͐͆̾̽̏̓̑̄͘͜͠ͅl̸̢̘̬̪̳͎̼̣̪͎̘̞̰͍̖͎̙̜̳̬̺̬͙͔͕͌̀̔̍̓̀̈̊̊̐̌̒̾̎̈́͋̑̅͆̀͘͠͠͝͝ͅy̴̛̛̠̺͔͖̔̅͗̾̉̋̒̐͊́̈́́̀̇͊̎̃̀̓̾̕͠͝ͅ ̶̢̨͓͖̱̩̣̳̯̘̗̳͙̗͙̱̳̦̩͇̤̭͙̉̆͌̐́͑̑̓̑̋͗͆̑̉͌̔̒͌̒͗́̈̍̌̋͂͊͛̆̿͛̄̋̒̊̂̌̒̿̅͌̆͋̚͠͝͠͠ͅͅǫ̷͔͇̜̥̫͇̥̳̠͕͖̟̖̫̗̼̝̠͙̣̲̜̰̉͛͛̑͂̋̎̅̓́̈́̚͜n̶̨͕̖̟̭̯͓̫̙̪͙̺̯̰͎̽̍̈́͝l̵̢̬̦͚̟̥̟̼̯̰͇͈͉͍̲̫͎̠̖͔͇̲̺͉̼̰̦̀̐̄̒͋̓́̕͜͝y̸̢̧̡̢̡̢̡̢̛̛̲͚̫͕̰̭͙̗̻͎͓̥̲̭̱̜̻̟̣̮͓̺̘̫̦͚̗͚̥̥̲͖̿̾͒̏̿͑̓̈̀͑̾͊͂̋̋̑͂̌͆̑̐̈́́̽̅̈́̂̍̇͌͆́̕̚̚͜͠͝͠ ̷̨̧̧͓̜̻̤̰̰͇̠͖̙̫̥̜͇̼̥̭͖͕̹̹̠͖̖̣̹̺̪̼̦͛̔̿̂̈́̈͊̿̓̒̃͆̿̿͒́̈́͒̽͐̑̊́̋̚̚̕͘͜͠͝ͅͅͅỡ̶̧̨̡̢̢̧̧͔̩̹̥̼̟̥̞̲̜̱̼̺̳̻̥͇̲̻̙̟̗̞͈̘̤̮̫̻͓̀̈́̂̾̍̔͒͂͗̆̃͑͑̎͋̉̔̾̉̑̇͌̊͗͊̑̑̍̉̄͋̚͜͠͝͝͝ņ̴̢̧̡̡̪̥͕͕̱̜͖̖̞̰̥͕̞̪̜̯̖̖̳̥͔͖̗̹͕̯̈́̾͋͌͊́͑̒͌̃̏͑͊͐͗͛́̿̾̀͐̔͌̔̑̌̃̌̄̋̕͘͜͝ḽ̶̨̡̦̣̺̯̼̭̻̮̼̪̝͙̣͉͚̥̼̙̙̯̜͈͕̙͇͖̭͇̌̆̀͒͗̍̊̎̅̏̈́͑́̆͐̓́̀̎͑̐̇̆̎͊͑̉̈́́̒̅̾͋̈́̋̅̚͠͝ͅy̶̧̡̡̛̠̘̻͈͇̰̮̤̯̰̤̲̜͖͖̯̫̲̟̤͖̪̫̲̲̳̞̹̫̯̬̯̝̱̜̩͈͙͖͋̀͒̈́̂̐̀̃̉̏̇͑̔̃͛͗̈͗͗̅̃͋̌͗͐͌̽̕̚͝ͅͅͅ ̶̡̢̢̤͈̟̬͙̲̯̣̥̬͓͈̠͉͚̤̘̔̓̓͊͛̄͊͐̓͛͐̅͌̑̑͗̍͋̏̈̽͛̒̍͌͛̓̅͗̈̀̕̕͘̕͜͠ò̴̧̢̪̑̎́̏͆̋̃̆̍͊͊̇̉̂̀͂̽̀̎̋̃̇̏́̐̉͌͛͂͆̍̆̐̊̃̀̕ͅn̵̡̨̢̡̨̧̪̜̺͍̥̫͎͖̳̜̭̜̺̪͇̮̬̙̯̟͔̻̫̤̩̖̝̩͕̩̤̯͙̫̘͔̬̘͊̔̓̎̈́̑̈͐̂̋̋̑͜ͅļ̵̡̡̨̢̧̻̣̝̤̮͚͖͕̲̫̝̖̻̞̞̩̪̗͎̯̖̙̣̻͚͈̬͈̝̼̙͖̩͖̻͛͗͊̇̀͊̓́̂͒̇́̎̑̽̓̂̏̃̑͒̂̈́̚͜͝͠͝ͅy̸̡̡̡̩̠̫͓̘̞͈͖̫̰̤̼͎̼̙̳̒̎̂̈́̊͋̂͋̔̇ ̵̡̛̼̟͉͓̭͚͈̝̩͇͖̜̾͊̑̆́̈́́̌́̅̏͒̌̏̋̍̽̌̑͌͗̍̾͆̓́̓̂̐̿̍̾͒͋͂̇̽̎̅̏͘̕͝͠͠͠ǫ̶̡̡̛̼̙̙̭̗̣̳͕̘̪̣̩̣̲̳̳̦͍͈̬͍͇̻͍̤͚͇̥͍͎̫̥̺̱͕͙̲̲̠̘͍̞͌͋́̍͗̉̍̽͂̃̇̀̌́̎̎̀̍̈́́̎͑͗̄̏̓͗̄̈͒̅͗̀̉̊̍͋͆̚̕͘͝ͅͅṇ̷̢̛͕̥̝̥̗̖͍̩̝͈̱͙͉͕͇̊͐̏̓̏͊͑͂͐̏̊͗̇̀̽ͅļ̵̧̞͖̲̗͖̫͉̣̟̏̈́̋̍͐̅͂̍̃̾̇̏̐͛̋̌̔̕͘y̴̡̡͖̤̮̠̮̫̟̱̗̖͉̫̱̩̳͔͇̪̟̗̫̣̬͐̂̓̌͂́̒̅̈́̒͐̈́͊͐̌̅̈́̀̓̏̽̀̊͗̈́̓̽́͛͗͗̍͐͝͝͝ͅͅ ̷̢̡̙̦̺̮̟̺̥̱̫͔̎̄͊̒̇͛̅̉̑̂̒̏͘͝ͅỏ̴̢̜̌̽̃̓͗̆̚ñ̶̨̢̼̹̥͙̳͔̯͈͔̲̩̭̮̫̜̟̣̰͖̜͎̻̣̹̩͈̳̺̾̌̓̏̏̅̃͠ḷ̸̢̡̛̜̺͈̲̙̝̣͈̙̭͎̜͖̝̩͚̹̖̪̙͉͔̱̺̉̏͛̾͊̀͊̒̐̋͑̈́̿͂͒́͂̃̅̀͑͐̋͊̿͑̄͋̈́͜͝͠ͅy̶̜̭̲̺̣̣͖͍̺͖̩͍̹̬͈͎̹̬͚͇̩̻̘͚͉̻͍͍̻̯̱̗̩̹̱̳͎̮͇͔̰̓̉̓̍̄̾̓̍͑͊̽͌̈̾́̑͗̿͑̋͂̄͌̓̿̍̕̚͜͝͠͝ͅ ̷͕̀̎̊͋̎̃́̏͗͗̒́͑̀́̽͆͆̓̾͑͌͂͂̽͛͑̅͊̓͐̃͑̋͗̃̈́̓̚̕̕̚͘̚͘͘ơ̷̧͓̫̣̥̳̻̘̻̝͎̪͔͓̹̺̱̰̺͕̪͈̱̼͍̺̯̼̖͇͚̻̰̥̥̯̱̭̺͔̰͇͎̗̞̗̂̎̇̍̏̓͗̽͑̐̾͛̏͐̇̅̓̌̈́̒̈́̈͊̌̀̈́͒͑̂̈́̀̽̌̂̌̈́͋̄͐́̉͆̇͗͂̕̕̕͜͜͝ń̴̛̰̰̰̜̮̬̙͖͓͎͕̹͉̯͙̦̹̻̳̤̜̻͇͔͛͂̅̎́͘͝ļ̵͖̘̳̹̜̱̰̲̑̌̈́̆̍̓̇ỵ̶̢̧̧̢̺̥̰̲͙̤̖͓̟̗͍͔̘̰̥̜̯̖̼̜̟͔̞̗̝̫͔̟̩̫̫̗͖͙̬͍̆͛͜ͅͅ ̷̠͔͖͎̝̿͊̀̎̓̉́̑̄͆̅ơ̷̡̨̢͕͙̭̗̹̼̼͓̮̗̲̬͕̬̥͙̲͙̼͖͓̟̜̖̯̟̜̜̜̖̖͇̺̟̙̳͖̜̱̗͇̫̗̪̏͆̑͋̊̓̆̃̔̏͂̊̏ͅṉ̷̨̨̧̡̨̨̢̢̛̛̳̳͕͇̻͍̻̗̥̣͖̰̭̟̗̘̖̞̖̬̺̝̼̝̩̹̝͇̳̗̬̠̔̒͌̎̍̏͋̽̿̊̈́́̅̒̚ͅͅļ̷̡̭̯̤̲͖̜̯̟̟̗̼̺̩̳̖̱͍̝̫̣̖̪̤̲̖͈͇͎̳̣͔̱̥̑̋̑̕͜͜͜ͅy̵̨͔͚͇͕͚̫̯͈̞̬͕̠̻͗͐̿͑̽͊́̽͒͛̍̉̉̌͒̈́̿̿̔̏̊̈́̀̾̇́̃̊͑̇̈́͌̅̊̃͋͒̚͘͝͠ ̸̡̡̳̩͈̫̙͕̥̫̖̳̼͔̺̠̳̥̠̬͉̺̰̰̮͍̠̗̪̰͙̮͇͚͒̌̿̌̀͠͝ͅơ̶̢̢͉̰͔̦̯̺͓̣̯̪̼̰̪̩͙̩̱̣̫͓̱̣̟͓͍̓̅̈̑̆͌̾̀̏̏̀̓̐̔͆͗̑̊̇̐͆͗̇̌̈́̑̆̅́̇͆̔̂͛̔̍͌̄͘̕̕͠͝͝͝n̷̢̧̳̿͠ļ̸̢̡̢̡̨̡̧̼͇̳͍̺̺̗̹͚̘̣̞̗̙̻̟̥͈̥͇͎̺͙̠͉͈̻̠̥̼̼̣̩̖͔͈̟̫̺̤̬̃̓͋̐̈́͒͗̎́͜ȳ̸̨̧̨̪͓̭̤̯͎̣͖͔̖̗͎͉̥̼͉͍̲͖͓̪͕̝̟̬̜̤̣͙̪̥̙̖̗̣̟͔͚̔̐̈́̒͜ ̷̧̢̨͔̝̫͎̪͍͈͔̖̹̗͙̼̫͙͙̬͔͈̤͉̙̪̞͖̹̠̣͍̭͉͍̞̰̻͈̼̂̿̐̄̒̀̎̂̍̆͒̂̈́̓͑̉͌̃͐͋́͋͋͂̌͛́́̋̇͒͒̀̊́̏̀̎̆̄͘͜͠͝ͅͅǫ̸͔̭̩̩͉͕̲̝̥̣̬͕̼̤̰̝̓̄͛̊͑̔͆̾̂̓̐͛̈́͋͜͜͝͝ͅn̴̨̢̢̺͉̼̼̠͚͉̠̪͚̱͈͓̪͓͖̻̮͎̞̫̓͂͜ļ̷̢̛̛͕͓̖̞͉̺̜̱͓͕͚͈͈͈̜̩̺̲̞͉̫̣̥̙̻̙̹͕̖͈͚̙͚̠̗̰̹͌͒̉̅̄̂̊̎̉̐̄̏̈́̏̈̏̐̂̃͌̾̿̿̀͗̆̉̌̄̅̔̀̀̓͛̑̀̚̚͘͘͜͝͝͝͠ͅͅͅy̸̨̧̨͖̼̩̳̩̝̦͇͍͙̙̪̠͎̘̪͈͍͈̺̩̲̼̫̲͕̦̘̘͎̦̣͚̘̺̩̩̞̼̤̆̾͗̆́̉̈́̍͒̍͆̀̈́̎́͗̇̈́̑͌̒̂͆́̎̓͗̍͌̕̕̚͠͝͠ ̸̧̛̘͈͎̘͚͙͇͇̙̖̠̙̟͛̆̉̅͗̓̑̍̅̀̈́̉̈̈́̄̒̌̾̆͂͊̒̍̃̀̋̈̄̆͊͐͛͑̌͘̚͝ọ̵̧̧̡̧̥͇͇̯̭̓̊̍̿̀̈́͂̔͋́̔͗̓̊̿͋̌̓͗͋̔͒̂͂̈́̕͠͠͝ṇ̸̨̢̛̥̝̖͚͓͚͎̺͕̦̯̗̹͎͉̝͙̼̲̥̮̳̀̑̉̏̃̅̓͒̉̒͆́̒̇͋͌̃͒́͊̇͌̔͋̒͂̈̅̌̏͂͂̂͑̇͛̃̐̋̏̅̚̚͘͜͝ͅļ̴̧̼̯̖̳̬̙̱̣͕͔̖̖͈̗̻̱͔̞͙̬̲͔̤̱̮͉̺̯͔̳̻͈͙̙̲̰̗̳́͌̀̉̃̉̀̍̂̑̏̈̏̿̌̑͘͘͜͝͝ͅỹ̴̨̨̧̢̡̛̠̱̯̤̤̳̗̹̞͚̹͎͖̠͉̰̙̹̲͚̹̝̦̥͙̣̩̯̤̥̜͖̮̮͍̺̠̬̱̳͎̆͌͌̾̔̌̈́̈̂̓͌̑̿͊̿̀͛̂̈̽̓̆̐̈̏́̄́̇̆͗͒͒̍̉͗͝͠͝͝͝ͅ ̵̨̡̧̛̬̹͙̰̰̺̼̹̮̳͎̟͔̺͎̼͚̠̰̗͈͚̲͍͔̘̻̗͙̥̞̰̻͚͖͈͛͗̎͛̀̿̀̓̑́̄͆̓̉̏͋̌̈́̎̒̈̈́͛͗̐́̽̅̏̏̇̾̅̕͘͠͝o̵̭͚̼͋͐̿̒̅̓̀͑̌͌́̌̽͊́̑̂͗̽̒̍͊͛̔̔̂̓̍͊͋̏̐̐̎̿͘͘̚̚͘̕͘ņ̶̡̮̤̻̪͓̞͓̤̫̣̩̙̲̤̰͔̤̯̇̀́͋̅͊̈̆̃͊̅̈́͌́̎͂͋̀̈̏̿̆̾̀̌̋́́͛͌̓̓́̀̋́̃̑̕͝͠͝͝ͅl̴̛̯̺̝̦͎̥̳̼͍̝͖̭͛̉̓̿͊̉͗̏̾̒͑̔̅͊̓̔̀̃͌̅̾̃̌̐̅̔̀̇̃̌́̀̀͜͝͝͝͠ý̷̨̡̨̢̝̖̙̮̞̠͔̩͔͉̪̻̹̰̟̱̬̦̘̹̤̱̗͙͎̮̠̟̞̬͖̮͜͜ͅͅ ̶̨̧̢̡̝̘̺̯͇̣̺̝̗̯͎̻̲͙͔͉͉͒̅̆͐͒͐͆͊͌̀̈́̓͐̓̉̊̊̔̿̏̓͛̄̄̿̈́͐̐̽̃͑̑̾̃̅̑̆̋̚̕̕̕͜͝

Keep reading

I can't believe my shitposts have fanfic now

winsune leachu. is this anything

god I could be so wealthy if I had no ethics. that's so fucking frustrating. I'm living paycheck to paycheck because I'm not grifting vulnerable idiots on TikTok. I feel like I have the ability to very easily scam people. I could make a killing with AI. but god. I have morals and ethics and so I get to be poor as shit. I hate this fucking world

I could have made a killing as a psychic, but noooo I have to feel bad about lying to people ugh

I think abt this all the time because the thing is, evil rich people truly believe that they’re geniuses who have discovered a way to make money that the rest of us dummies haven’t…but the truth is that they are just willing to do evil shit that everyone else would prefer to not to because we have standards

When I attended my graduate school job fair, Raytheon (unprompted, hearing me say my degree at the next table) offered me $230,000/yr to come work for them. That was their opening offer after hearing nothing more than my degree, in a city with a very low cost of living. The only catch was that the job was working on vision systems for missiles. (i.e. those 'targeted' missiles which kill a ton of civilians as collateral or intentional damage)

I ended up taking an $85,000/yr job as an optical research scientist at Corning instead.

It is an odd feeling, having a price put on your soul. I'd be a millionaire with a house by my mid-30s if I'd accepted that. And the offer is still open, in fact I'd have an even more generous one waiting for me with the skills I have now.

In all seriousness, if you have the right skillset, you can actually sell your soul. This very week. You will live in comfort and moderate luxury for all your days. Two of my family members did that work decades ago, until they couldn't stomach it any longer, and it set up the rest of their lives.

But I promise you, it's not worth it. It's been almost 50 years for one of them and it still haunts him. He says the worst part was the way they (him included) talked about human lives as things. Numbers on a spreadsheet, sterile corporate jargon in meetings. A lifetime later and you can still see it in his eyes when he talks about it.

You can't take it back, treating humans like things.

Okay okay okay so I’m changing like every recognizable detail of this for privacy purposes but yall need to appreciate this

So I know how to retain CCTV footage, right? It doesn’t come up everywhere but I know my way around- and if someone gets jumped in a parking lot or whatever I can go backwards and see whodunnit

So I’m at this one place, right? And I get a call that an older woman in a wheelchair got hurt somehow and we need to see what happened.

Nobody remembers the exact time, because of course not, but they tell me she was wearing like a massive hot pink jacket and she’s in a wheelchair and she left with a medic round 09:45ish, so I figure I’ll start there.

So I find the incident itself no problem, but they need ALL footage for liability and insurance and stuff, so I have to keep going

And about ten minutes backwards, I lose her. She comes into view past a single shelf on one of the worse cameras and vanishes.

like. VANISHES. Hot pink jacket, big bulky black chair, gonzo. No idea where she came from.

So, I pull up entry cams. Zoom backwards till I see her come in… at like 06:15.

THREE AND A HALF HOURS EARLIER.

So first off, this is gonna take me like two hours minimum to write down, forget retention. And I’m kind of dying in my soul a bit but I start over there, watching her come in and meander and whatever.

At about 08:30ish she disappears.

Doesn’t leave. Doesn’t head to a bathroom. Doesn’t take her coat off. Her trail just stops.

Now, I’ve done this before. Typically, a location only has the mandatory minimum amount of room for a chair or walker to get around, so a person using one can only go forwards and it’s hard to 180. That limits options and makes it easier to follow, whereas a little unattended and fully mobile kid will zoom around in circles and shit and go who the hell knows where.

Then I see her again on the other ass end of the building, and I have to go back again to see how she GOT there.

My guys.

Her two and three-point turns are INCREDIBLE.

She’s popping on the wheels, flip, zoom, she’s out somewhere I didn’t think she could even GET to. I’ve been planning my search for places that fit a wheelchair or least-resistance fast-paths from A to B and she’s like… doing some Tokyo Drift shit.

I don’t know WHY. The whole place is basically completely accessible so long as you put up with having to reverse, but no. No, she goes where she wants.

I’ve been at this for half the day, and I still have no idea where she went for like an hour and a half.

Fuck me, I’m taking a lunch break

This is barely an exaggeration

• Car Trunk vs Car Boot: A clear win for US English, trunk was already a thing in which you stored items, frequently for transport.
• Crisps vs Chips: I gotta admit, the Brits have this one. They're thin slices of potato that have been made crispy. No chipping of any materials involved.
• Car Park vs Parking Lot: Equally matched. What's a car park? A place to park cars. What's a parking lot? An otherwise empty lot where you can park.
• Elevator vs Lift: Both equally fail to address that the damn thing also goes down.

i love this list but i can't bear the slander any longer: everything in the fucking world goes DOWN, that feature came free with the gravity. the selling point of a lift is that it elevates your uncharitable little ass any time you like. so be nice to them.

bugs is…. shrimp????

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before