"I just refuse to believe it was an accidental two-time Sieg Heil. And he does it at a presidential inauguration! This is why I hate liberals. Liberals have no teeth whatsoever. They just go, ‘Oh my God, can you believe this? I’m getting out of the country!’ I’m just like, you’re gonna leave the country because of one guy with dyed hair plugs and a laminated face? Who makes a bad car and has an obsolete social media platform? Why doesn’t he leave? Why are we so afraid of this guy who can’t fight his way out of a wet paper bag?”

My favourite harmless prank I've heard of was done by this girl whose dad was a geologist, and they'd go on day hikes with his geologist friends/co-workers and when she got bored on them she'd habitually pick up a random rock and go ask him what it is, and one of them would explain what kind of a rock that is, how it probably got here, and usually some notions of the more unusual features the rock had, if any.

And she had a friend who had once gone on a tourist trip to Iceland and brought back a volcanic rock. So she borrowed the rock and took it with her on the hike, and after two randomly picked up "hey dad what rock is this", she presented the volcanic rock, in the same fashion as all the others.

3 minutes later there are five middle-aged and older men circled around this mysterious rock, all agreeing on what it is, but not why it is. They keep asking her questions, where did she find it? Were there any other rocks around there that looked like it? Was it like this on the ground? People walking past the group try to stretch their necks to see over the geologists' shoulders to see what's the source of such amazement.

And in the end she couldn't take it anymore, burst into laughter and confessed. The geologists agree that it was pretty clever.

Geologist enrichment

"Moist groaned. It was the crack of seven and he was allergic to the concept of two seven o'clocks in one day."

~ Raising Steam (from Discworld) by Terry Pratchett

Ahhh, Terry Pratchett understood me on a deep spiritual level

"Thoughts on women?" Yeah pretty much constantly

The concept of soulmates is a scam made by Pete Wentz cause he couldn't baby trap Patrick

whoa whoa whoa, are you enjoying yourself right now? rookie mistake. you're supposed to be afraid and angry... yeah no all the time. how else will you prove you care about all the problems?

As much debate as there is about tone tags, 90% of the issues would be solved by just typing the word. Like instead of typing /gen or /hj you can just write (genuine) or (handjob) and you'll be doing pretty much the exact same thing.

Of course I personally think it's less awkward to use some rudimentary language skills to form actual sentences and phrases. They don't even have to be complicated. Like "Genuine question, why are you doing that?" Or "I'm being serious. Stop that." Or "I'm going to jerk you off now."

it'd be really cool if everyone put their money where their mouths are and went and saw the new fully 2d animated looney tunes movie that's in theaters RIGHT NOW instead of continuing to scream about the snow white and lilo and stitch remakes

you guys LOVE theatrical 2d animation, right? you're utterly drained by the live action remake trend? you wanna at least try to participate in the effort to bring it back into the limelight in a non-anime context? here's your chance. go see "the day the earth blew up: a looney tunes movie" at your nearest theater.

guys wouldn't it be sooo funny if we not only saw this opening weekend but saw it again the day the snow white reboot released and out-grossed it. wouldnt that be so fucking funny. piss off WB corporate (who tried to can the movie like they did everything else) AND disney corporate. wouldnt that be funny

Tfw when men do that thing where they pretend they have no control over their temper. LOL It’s so funny like am I supposed to pretend that I don’t know you’re completely self-aware and present during this rage performance. Or should I pretend you’re the tortured hero in a movie, possessed by a series of fabricated flashbacks of the war and your father

Someone put in the “Why Does He Do That” quote

Another one:

"Abuse is a problem of values, not of psychology... An abuser tries to keep everybody - his partner, his therapist, his friends and relatives - focused on how he feels, so that they won't focus on how he thinks, perhaps because on some level he is aware that if you grasp the true nature of his problem, you will begin to escape his domination."