the slate of mild

bringing yet another culinary horror from the russian internet here

3_rublya, well, i wanted to bake a duck for New Year. Just before the New Year’s Eve it suddenly turned out that there are no whole ducks in the store, just the parts. I made the strategic decision to buy a bunch of duck parts and cook them. At home, I got upset that I won’t have a whole duck, and I tried to restore the duck from breasts and legs by sewing them together. At this point it turned out that each tray I bought had not two but three legs, so overall there were six, five of which were left ones. While I was sewing the duck together, I stained it with the food dye my sister spilled while making pryaniks (the pryaniks were good, by the way), and the duck started looking like it has gone moldy or expired. I couldn’t stand for this injustice and entirely covered it with dye to hide the stains. And then I also shoved some celery and oranges up its ass, just because I could.

Written by zapivaet i zaedaet, today at 15.28

where's me package...

ahar. Twas cast overboard

aye.....killing meself

feels nice just to be wanted. even if it is for murder

'Translation: There is no god beyond'

YESSSSSS, 6 YEARS..WE'VE WAITED FOR THIS!!! YESSSSSSSS

My words cannot express my emotions, but I broke my friend's headphones with my scream of joy.

The Blue Spirit putting out firebending with a bucket of water is the absolute funniest thing ever done in avatar combat. It just is.

oh my god @murple

Im at work and nobody knows that im painting Doris from Shrek in Pre-Raphaelite style on my ipad.

In case anyone thought I was lying, here is the proof!

My reference was Hanging the Mistletoe by Dante Gabriel Rossetti (Its hard to match with their skill but that lady reminded me of Doris very much)

Edit: fixed some shadows

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

anyone remember what these things are called like little cartoony expressive doohickies i think they have a real name but i can’t remember

im not fucking crazy.

if i have one more person say sparkles on this post im gonna blow i swear to god

They're squeans I'm pretty sure! If they pop like that anyway. But the term for this kind of "symbol to refer to the general vibe of something in art" is called "Emanata" because it emanates from a person or object.

I know this is going to make me sound pretensions but I have to get it off my chest. I feel an unimaginable rage when someone posts a photo and is like "this picture looks like a renaissance painting lol" when the photo clearly has the lighting, colors and composition of a baroque or romantic painting. There are differences in these styles and those differences are important and labeling every "classical" looking painting as renaissance is annoying and upsetting to me. And anytime I come across one of those posts I have to put down my phone and go take a walk because they make me so mad

In case you're curious here's what I mean.

Renaissance(distinct lines, stability and the individual man):

Baroque (bold, chaotic, dramatic):

Romantic(romanticize the simple hard working life):

Do you see the difference?

this post has re-wired my brain in the best way

*Scrolls past*

*reluctant sigh*

*scrolls back up*

*rebogs*

genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

My one friend group can't stop saying, "See you in hell!" in a cheerful voice instead of, "Talk to you later!" and my other friend group can't stop calling things "penis" instead of "cool" or "good", so I just unironically uttered the phrase, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," as I got off the phone.

I think everyone should be doing this btw. Maybe, "Sounds penis, see you in hell," could be our, "Always."

I tried to quote this post to my housemate the other day but botched it so said "nice cock, kill yourself" and now it's turned into a call and response so instead of saying goodbye one of us says nice cock and the other tells you to kill yourself

One of those fandom things that I love is when there’s new characters around and, with the unwavering confidence of an old farmer appraising cattle, fanfic authors take one good look at them, tilt their imaginary hat, and go “Aye. Praise kink, that one. Mighty case of praise kink if I ever saw one.” And everyone else just “aye.”

Not to mention the plot tropes.

“I don’t think the Highschool AU is going to come in too strong this year. Fandoms a touch jaded for that. But the hurt/comfort is growin’ thick as weeds and twice as fast. It’ll be a good harvest, fer sure.”

@cynaram

“I hear over at [neighbouring fandom] they’re putting the top field into fix-it fics.”

“Yes, ‘twould be.  They had a hard season last year, a right hard season.” 

“You think I ought to plant a little Sailor Moon Wild West AU? Don’t know if anything would come of it. Might not make it to harvest.”

“Won’t know until you plant it, will you?”

“Ah, a heritage crop.”

The shipping forecast.

The Fandom Almanac

“I think I’m going to sow some rarepairs this season. Don’t know what the market for ‘em will be, but I can eat ‘em if nobody else wants to.”

the REAL truth that this coward won’t admit is that you absolutely did not have to do this no matter when you were born. my mp3s went straight into that thing looking exactly like they were downloaded and I learned their weird names like god intended. you and your “put together” ipod have nothing on me and my 45 🖾 🖾 🖾______%a&us.fr.uk by Various Artists

Im so obsessed with hornet's "are you _ of some kind" she has only one conversation starter that isn't violence no wonder lace desires her carnally

both are valid approaches to the same problem

i don’t think these are even different approaches