Dundundun

I’ve been suffering from itchy nipples for a while

you don’t have to post everything i’m just saying

And you don’t have to post that little freak from dungeon meshi but here we are

oh so the nipple scratcher is inciting war with chilchuck nation? choose your next words wisely

YES I'M GAY:

faGgot

dykAe (the a is silent)

trannY

i may be stupid

you shut your whore mouth

i won’t hesitate bitch

stop being mean to me

when this post hits 69420 im turning off reblogs

YES I MISSED THE DEADLINE everyone shut up. on april 20 reblogs are going off for realsies this time. cash in while you can

Readers have context you may want to know: It is May 3.

"Kill them with kindness" Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK* 🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

“Kill them with kindness”

Nah, fuck that, CRICKET BAT 🏏 🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*

🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏*SMACK*🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏🏏

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

"this song is about this" "this song is about that" "this person wrote this song about this person" wrong all songs are about ocs ive made and ocs that have not yet come to pass

my one skill is expertly manipulating the shape of the eggs I’m cooking so that they fit perfectly onto my toast every time

Bow down to your king

I can’t stop outdoing myself

Remember that post? The one that said “what if we all have super powers but they’re so mundane we don’t realize?” That post? This is proof that post was right

Please tell me other people can relate I’m having a crisis

@canisalbus

he thinks he's being so smooth with his little face on my leg. i SEE you, villain

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

I am in love with you /p

What about the one with the princess locked in a tower learning to become a wizard? That’s lived in my mind for years and I haven’t seen it in a long time

Oh, love that story, adding it to the list: 20. Princess Talia and adding a few more contenders 21. Thyme 22. The Monster under the Bed 23. A Meaningful Death 24. Humans are unstoppable…until they aren’t 25. The Monster under the Fridge 26. Antler Guy 27. Cleric slamming healing spells

Adding a few more I remembered:  28. The Frog and the Scorpion 29. HSTHETE 30. The First Witch in the World 31. Imagine that Oceans were replaced by Forests  32. A Faerie taking a Name  33. The Dragon on the Farm  34. Synovus & Menace  35. Raising the Anti-Christ  36. Aliens vs. Flora & Fauna of Earth (pretty sure there are even more additions to the original post but I had this one saved)  37. Doctors without Borders…in Space!  38. The Villain-Wrangler  39. The Last Contact  40. The 100 Parent-Point Children  41. And the Heavens Wept  42. The Night Gentleman  43. The Serpent God and their Priestess 

44. No One Showed Up for the Last Storytime

Wow! @writing-prompt-s contributing to like half of these!

I can hardly take any credit for these stories! But I love sharing them. Unfortunately I cannot read all the prompt responses so please tag me if you want me to reblog a story that resonated with you so I can give it a little boost :)

A brief moment of rationality from the bird place.

Everyone on 4/13, crawling out of their secret homestuck bunkers,

Its me, your feral godmother

*waves a wand and grants you the teeth and claws to fuck your evil step family up*

Good luck kid you're in a reverse beauty and beast situation. Do not let that princely motherfucker fall in love with your inner humanity or the spell will fail and you'll turn human again

Good news if you bite his ass you can start a pack together. Go forth. Enjoy the ball

You can bite a princess too if you want. Or a milkmaid, or a butler or whatever. Go nuts. The more the merrier

#misread as feral hogmother

That's my girlfriend, she's rooting for you too

#investing at 70 notes

That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about a post of mine that wasn't an addition to a post of someone else's XD

#posts that will become Tumblr heritage

I wish. I don't think it's even gonna crack 500 notes

i genuinely hope that boop day inspires everyone to interact more with other tumblr users. because it’s clearly way more fun this way!! even once the boop button is gone, there’s still asks, tag and ask games, comments, dms, fuck it let’s bring back blog rates i don’t care. part of the reason that tumblr is dying is that its way less social than it used to be. let’s fix that!!

you're required to participate in this poll btw. i need data

tumblr what is wrong with you first the walrus vs fairy thing and now this? are you saying it's less fucked up to find out you're not a biological organism than find out you're a human created from one parent-twin who is genetically identical to you?

Clone: horror at the lie of your body (for what purpose? how many are there? are they like you?)

vs.

Robot: horror at the lie of your mind and your humanity itself (have you ever actually had a thought of your own, or is everything you are/you think/you understand just created by another person’s brain? whose mind/brain are you?? whose thoughts are in your head?? What does it mean to “think” when you’re only a manmade echo of humanity constructed from Boolean logic loops? Do you even have a soul?)

There’s a CLEAR ANSWER HERE.

clone: you are the theft of another being, inextricably tied by the blood running through your veins they may not have even given to you. you aren't you, you're them, you were made to be them, you're not different, there shpuld not be a you, you are them,

robot: ok well im a robot so show me my blueprints so i can install a sword in my arm to beat up ppl that i dont like. what the fuck ever. can i run doom

I have a twin. We are almost the same. I can imagine clone life! Robotic life? Slightly more inconvenient

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

i need all the help i can get for finals

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

This might be the real one, y’all.

At this point literally anything helps.

For my upcoming mid terms, semi finals and finals. Please.

Eh fuck it let’s do this not like i’m gonna lose anything anyways

here's a random word generator--whatever word it gives you is now the thing you are the deity of

"quota"

am i in the fucking sales department

im deity of accessible

FORK

I did it again I’m the deity of pedestrian

Me too i'm the deity of fat and that checks tbh.

I got to be the deity of affect….? that’s not even a noun but I guess it’s all about consequences for me babey

went again for funsies and now I’m the deity of opinion which is super neat (only in my opinion)

mutuals get in here let’s make a pantheon (actually no pressure though)

@inhayara @andiv3r @lemoncholy-stars @black-cat-littleangel @nyxisonfire @fumblebee @bagelofchaos @medidoctorate

also anyone else who wants to can go wild

HHHHK EXCUSE ME ????

I MEAN OKAY BUT WHY??? What does that make me, exactly? Satan? Hades? Idfk.

@bi-squirrel @leon-swedfinqs @ineffablake @ltlemon @demitheshine @a-chaotic-business @xxc00l-k1dzxx @violet-prism-creatively @morelikesignificantannoyance @sort-of-dying your turn

(Once again, i'm tagging people using my ping list, so if you wanna be a part of it, feel free to leave a comment :D)

im the deity of disturbance

hehhehehehe my domain is annoying ppl this is perfect

@cloudxxiii @worm-brainzz @l1minality @bagelofchaos @sort-of-dying @singular-ghost-sound @ender-boi72

ya know what. mine tracks. im the deity of mother fuCKING WORRY

@mothman-the-mothman87 @chocolattenotclickbait @fox-bright @k1ng-0f-bugzzz @3sbeee @alarastirling

Worth, whatever that means

@violetryst @insect0idfreakaz0id @mrsleepband

Strength :)

@cotton-candy-918 @raphieartz @aquabian

Deity of budget, I’m on a budget of 0 dollars

@maxmerized @purpleleafsyt @dropkicks-self-off-cliff @pinkatint @auggie-arts @itz-rona220

President?

Help?

@imaginebeingnormal @ilikestarfoxturtles @buny1 @mikebeanz @kredena-dark @disastertwins9000

Kitchen!

@kittykittyanon @p-3-t-r-1-ch-0-r @https-envy @https-envy @nats-comet @that-f-cked-up-bitch @invisible-hidden

Nightmare! Oooh! Fun!

@siren-serotonin @the-squishy-scrimblo @essentially-a-worm-on-a-string @sweetgoateelight

I’m the goddess of depressed/depression. Checks out.

@wheredidmybooksgo @theindescribable1 @fatherrussia-69 @facks-stories

atmosphere.

NO AIR FOR U BITCHES SHHSHABSAHAHABHAHAH

I'm not certain about being a deity...

current

WATERRRRR

im a deity of aunts... im not sure anymore

@attention-k-mart-shoppers @luckystarlesbians @mizukindazainui @bcyesandisaidso @alex-just-vibing @starry-sky-orchestra @synthesii @effervescentleo @emaya-chan-the-potato-headed

Deity of self....I am the deity....of me....?

deity of salt

mm yummy

@thatoneangrytuga @abcwordsurge @ztarburztsystem @floridagirlboy @northstarstate-loverboy @labaguetteisdabest

deity of advice

i mean sure why not. even though i'm not very good at giving advice.

@swans-chirping-in-the-distance @that-multi-fandom-hijabi @queenpiranhadon @cinematics06

Goddess of ✨reliance ✨

YOU GOT A FRIE-

Anyways tags uh

@fuzzysoulyt, @aylin-hijabi, @loife1m, @mxnkeydo, @fish-ofishial123, @hijabi-desi-bookworm, @certainchopshopcheesecake, and @n0t-an-en3my

Deity of disappointment..

Oh well...

Taggin; @smallsinger5901 @shadowace-rui @mqstermindswift @cielrants @lukascastelan

i’m the deity of SOUL

that must be a mistake since that would be patrick stump but ok

@princessg3rard @gay4way

deity of aid omg <3

that’s actually so wholesome dude

@fruityfroggyfelon @buffporcupine

goddess of use. wonder what lore i have /sar /silly

erm erm erm erm uhm uh @mapsareforbraindeads @the-newjack @reigenpostayng

im the deity of stripping. i wish i was kidding.

@crackheadgremlin @yourlocalcorvidcryptid @astronomical-bagel

Deity of reality

Nice

@lolliepop-central-station @plural-void @salemsmushroom @solarfawnn @agentldiddy @dudawhenmaybeart @jthehumanbeing @keruukat @moontoastt @mossycryptid212 @ohnoitsinsomnia @tomboy014

I am the diety of housing, y’all get homes

@terrencetheshark14 @ferno-does-random-shit @mayhem-moth @the-thing-of-worms @durgalmaple

FITNESS!! PFFFTTT I AM THE LEAST ATHLETIC PERSON YOU ARE EVER GONNA MEET

@the-thing-of-worms @be-gentle-with-littluns @goblinofthelaboratory @system-reset @mothman-minus-the-man @skyethebisexualwolfwizard

Im the god of

SHOUT

IDK WHAT THAT MEANS DO I JUST CAUSE PEOPLE TO YELL I DONT LIKE PEOPLE YELLING 😰

So many gods… so little time

I got knot...

im the root god that can mean 2 things, i am the root of all gods or i am the goddess of plants

I GOT REVIVAL

FUCKING WINNING OUT HERE

powder

Scratch, maybe chickens???

Deity of Public, I rule the public. Bow before my greatness, my audience!

isn't it insane though how schizophrenic people are viewed as violent and dangerous by the majority of society when in reality schizophrenic people are nearly 14 times more likely to be on the receiving end of violence than to be the perpetrators...

schizophrenic person: makes a post trying to raise awareness about the disproportionate abuse and harmful stereotypes schizophrenic people face

yall: "yeah im not gonna reblog this they used the word ins*ne which is so problematic ://"

What the fuck happens that changes these stats to such a massive degree?

1) schizophrenia hardly ever causes people to be violent so schizophrenic people aren’t more likely to be violent than anyone else

2) schizophrenic people’s autonomy is often taken away from them because of their schizophrenia. because the authorities and mental healthcare providers often automatically assume schizophrenic people to be violent, they’re more likely to immediately react to schizophrenic people's symptoms with violence, without even knowing for sure said schizophrenic person was going to be violent. all of this causes schizophrenic people to be more likely of being victims of violence and abuse. schizophrenic people also have a harder time getting out of abusive households because of the risk of their autonomy being taken away. if a schizophrenic person’s relative or partner is abusive, often the schizophrenic person has no way out of the situation, both because our disconnect from reality can result in us being easier to manipulate, and because the system is built in a way that it takes away our autonomy because of our condition.

also schizophrenic people and psychotic people in general, please do a lot of research before picking a provider for your own sake, and if they try to treat your psychosis in a way that you think is harmful then don’t hesitate to switch providers. your safety and wellbeing should be a priority over everything else.

can y'all please reblog this version instead