Context is not always forthcoming. Click here to inbox me. Click here for tarot readings. Click here for dreams, visions, and magic. Click here to buy me a coffee. Click here to buy a story about tarot. Context is not always clarifying.
Melissa begins to receive the benefits to her sudden promotion. But as the burdens yet to come press on the wounds inflicted by the past, will she be able to build on the foundation she has yet to find her footing on?
Can’t get your partner off on the first try? Cool. You can still be thoughtful and make them feel good.
Can get your partner off within 30 seconds? Awesome, good for you both, don’t let it get to your head.
Can make someone cum in less than 5, but for others, it’s a process that takes an hour? That’s alright, everyone’s different.
Does it take you 30 minutes to cum? That’s okay, you’re not broken, you’re not a failure.
Does it take you 10 seconds to cum? That’s great, you’re not a slut, you’re not overly sensitive or dirty.
Can’t cum without toys/vibrators? That’s awesome, that’s a valid part of sexual play!
Can only cum with loving, vanilla sex? That’s perfectly normal, and you will find lots of great partners to experience that with!
Can’t orgasm at all? THAT’S ALSO COOL. It’s not a bad thing, you can still enjoy sex TONNES just like others.
Orgasms are NOT the defining characteristic of your sexual prowess. They are great, they’re lovely when they happen, but for the love of science, stop bringing them up higher than they need to be.
This one’s a pretty big deal. “Did you come?”
No, but it still felt great
Yes, and it felt really great
Yes, but coming isn’t that big a deal for me
No, can you keep going?
Yes, can you keep going?
No, do you want to watch me get myself off?
Yes, but don’t get a big head about it – I come so easily it doesn’t matter what you do.
No, but I bet I can get you up again
Yes, but I’d rather keep edging because I always get a huge drop after coming and it really puts me off sex for a while
No, thank you, orgasm denial leaves me deliciously horny for days
No, and I’m really frustrated, let’s brainstorm how to change that
All of these are fucking awesome answers. Including the last one. They’re also 100% legitimate answers. Including the last one.
Only the last one is even a little bit “negative,” and, really, how bad, arrogant, or egocentric a lover do you have to be that you’d rather not know when your partner says “here are some great ways to help me come next time, lover?”
If on the other hand you’re going to panic or be unhappy about that last answer then you’re not a bad lover (no shame either way) but your sex life will be less workable. With the result that you’ll continue having, well, the same result.
To be honest, whether you or your partner comes isn’t the most important thing about sex. It’s whether you’re both satisfied afterwards. The only trick being that
You get to decide what “satisfied” means for you
You don’t get to decide what “satisfied” means for your partner(s.)
Asking “did you come” isn’t really the right question. “Does this work for you” is way healthier. That’s the culture we want to look for and encourage.
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P.S. Your partner isn’t a video game. His or her orgasms aren’t a boss fight. The question you want to ask isn’t “did I beat the previous high score” but “would you like to play again.”
ok i just got this thought out of nowhere but blog divers (people who scroll through a blog and reblog things that were posted YEARS AGO) are actually a super important part of the tumblr ecosystem
With people going inactive and deactivating, a lot of classic tumblr posts and also missed gems get lost because those connections get broken. Even on my own blog I forget about posts I made until I see someone in my activity reblog one of them- which then inspires me to reblog it myself because it was a good post and I want my new followers to see
do not feel bad about diving through someone’s blog and reblogging shit from years ago, it keeps dashboards alive
(and if anyone has a problem with that, they can just block you or they can delete the root post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, two things that have absolutely no effect on the grand scheme of our lives)
Cycling nutrients (old tumblr posts) from the ocean floor (mutual’s blog archive) to increase (dashboard) ecosystem productivity
Whale Fall Scavengers Spreading Vital Nutrients From The Surface Back Into The Ecosystem
There are many benefits to being a tumblarine biologist.
If you’re leaving Christianity and getting into some form of paganism, you should check and see whether you’ve got any internalized “faithmaxxing/worshipmaxxing is the only true way to be spiritual” going on, and if so, work on it. Stuff like thinking you need to have perfect faith in your deities at all times or thinking you need to practice 3.5 spells per day to be A Real Witch. You’re going to mess yourself up if you carry on with that.
