Is anyone else at the point in their life where they have no idea what to do? For me, I began the month studying abroad, and after a week*, I am now in Norway, headed home in a few days. I don’t know where I’m going to work, I don’t know if I’m headed back to school, I just know I have to get help. If anyone has any advice on what to do, I’d so appreciate it. Otherwise this is just to get so much thoughts out of my head.

*for anyone thinking I should have given it time, that I was just homesick; nah. I loved where I was, I had great roommates, it was a good location, and there was fantastic food. I had a complete mental breakdown in which the only thing stopping me from falling off an edge was to go home.

I teach a supernatural class at my school and this week we’re talking about comic cons! I know there are many videos I can find online but would anyone be willing to tell me about some of their experiences or send videos? I’ve unfortunately never been able to go to a con due to where I live :(((

Imagine going through each day in a haze, wondering if the life you are living is enough. Whether you are good enough, happy enough, or just enough. Life is funny; it can give you moments that make you the happiest you’ve ever felt, but can also cause great times of sadness. Times you feel like you can never escape, never forget. I think about the question often, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” The answer I have, I can never say out loud. “Alive” I think, “I want to be alive, however possible. I want happiness, I want family, I want to feel like I belong.” And I can’t say that, because I’m never sure if my mental health will allow me to ever be happy, and to feel grateful for the life I have. Everyday I want to give up, give into the parts of my brain that say life is no longer worth it. But I know it is, otherwise, what’s the point? Life is meant to be lived and even though I feel as though I’m useless to this world, I’m here now and I want to be happy. Please let me be happy.

Whoever invented this filter, I hope both sides of your pillow is cold and that you may never step on a lego bare footed.

Sometimes I debate about switching colleges. Like I love mine, a lot, but it’s in such a small town, in a very conservative state. I wonder if I want a bigger experience and to possibly be closer to my home in New England. Depending on my career choice, I may be forced to switch as one of my career choices is not offered at my college.

Today, because of some emotional stuff, I prayed for the first time in almost a decade. I may not believe in organized religion, but I’m hoping if there is a higher power out there, they’ll listen and help me out. It’s a very emotional and difficult time for many people, especially in our current political state(at least, if you’re currently residing in/or are from the U.S), as we don’t know what’s going to happen. Many of us, including myself, are still mourning the loss of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, may her memory be a blessing, and instead of mourning the loss of a great woman, who changed many lives, I became overcome with fear. Fear in having my rights taken away, of not having control over my own body or marrying the one I love, be it male, female, or non-binary. So please, for the millions of American who I know are also in fear, vote like your life depends on it, because for some, it does.

The nice thing about my tumblr account is only one person who knows me in real life follows me, so I can expose myself usually without anyone figuring out who I am! Revelant to my post as I’m now in college, and I’ve made some awesome friends, but I’m like...possibly attracted to one of them????? It’s a bi-disaster time in college bitches 🤘🏻

Whelp I feel like none of my friends like/care about me. Time to go cry in the bathroom!

I’m currently sitting at a job, where I have zero things to do(yes it sounds very nice I am aware) but with zero things to do for six hours with no school work to do and no college things to prepare for, I find myself incredibly bored. I need book suggestions, fanfic suggestions, long movies to watch, tv show suggestions, how to murder someone, what to do during a 6 hour shift, maybe how to make a bracelet. I need answers.

Help

Someone validate me, I’ve been sick all break and during that time I’ve binge watched Disney plus and watched my life slowly be drained from me. It’s been nothing but Kim Possible and PoTC.

I just finished sense 8 and I’m crying, holy shit it’s such a beautiful show that Netflix should have never cancelled and everyone should watch it

#sense8 #holyfuckwhyiamicryingsomuch #sexualityisfluid

Recently, my body sent a big middle finger toward me, by having me healthy all summer, going back to school and saying “ahhh fuck you, have a 100 degree fever for four days, essentially missing the beginning of school”. Thank you body. I hope you die very early, taking me with you.