1.5M ratings

277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Out of the frying pan and into the man

23 welcome to my kitchen. I hope you enjoy my deliciously funny meals. The menu is always changing.

soundtestmenu

valtsv

A diagram of different colored sunglasses, captioned with their meanings. The first pair are black shades with round lenses, captioned "cool, aloof, mysterious (probably hiding insecurity)". The second pair are pink round lenses, captioned "fun, flirty, silly (especially when heart shaped)". The third pair are red round lenses, captioned "WHORE". The fourth pair are yellow round lenses, captioned "either super chill or lowkey sinister with no inbetween". The fifth are three pairs together, one blue, one purple, and one green, captioned "strange, whimsical, possibly magical". The final pair are square lens, black framed red and blue glasses (similar to old fashioned 3D glasses), captioned "wildcard".

some observations on color coding eyewear in ficton and their meanings

fionn-o-nassus

clownowo

beaft

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

beaft

I actually, genuinely think social event aftercare would fix me. I need someone to put me to bed and say "you were fun today and no one hated you"

inkstars1138

paginanilol

constructreese

Yeah hey mom I know it's been a while since I called. I have bad news. My cigarette broke in half. Yeah.. yeah Google said no way to fix it either

rataplani

bowelflies

sea butterflies, Limacina helicina (Gastropoda: Limacinidae)

hunter-rodrigez

It's hard to see here... but sea butterflies are a kind of snail

rataplani

bowelflies

sea butterflies, Limacina helicina (Gastropoda: Limacinidae)

hunter-rodrigez

It's hard to see here... but sea butterflies are a kind of snail

paginanilol

hungwy

aquarium advertisments say stuiff like discover the longtooth grouper this friday

tyrannosaurusrachh

I see that, and raise you my local aquarium's advertising.

twofingerswhiskey

Vancouver Aquarium has similar ads!

They also have some SERIOUSLY inventive ones:

(High and Low Tide ^)

freshhotflavors

the only type of advertising that should exist: "ooooohhhh you want to come look at the animal"

pretzelbros

pretzelbros

Im concerned for this boy's health he's very skinny

something-general

mousegirlheart

why do they have the same hairline

thanook

why is vegeta scared of peanut

enki2

liminalspacesandplaces

heavensmortuary

duckdotcom

wearing sky-colored shoes to hide from the devil. earth colored hat to hide from god