i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there’s a slug on their plant and so you’re like “Oh haha you’ve got a friend there let me get that for you” and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is “would you like this free slug with your purchase”
@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful
me in planning stages of writing: this fucks. this is gonna be so fun.
me the minute i sit down to write: language is an unwieldy cudgel we use to beat the human experience to death in an attempt at ever communicating fully with another being. i wish intelligent life had never evolved. i want to go back to the cell stage like in spore
they could have said, like, “we made a new wolf morph, which shows how far genetic science has advanced”. they could have said, “we’re calling them direwolves out of a love for the extinct species.” maybe too much to ask for but would have loved it if they’d pointed out some kind of ecological niche they were theoretically intent on resolving - like, “wolves are having trouble adapting to human sprawl and we are hoping that our research into the past will help us save wolves in the present.”
but alas they did not do this. and see this sucks because i want to be hype about new bigass fantasy wolves. there is a 7th grade version of me that would be ecstatic about this. she would be obsessive.
unfortunately, due to capitalism, now i gotta have beef with puppies. can you imagine.
