be queer, be kind, fuck capitalism

Today my wife texted me this, and then immediately called me to make sure I got it because it was “an urgent message”.

the year was Two Thousand and twenty-four. I took a puff of my Electronic-Cigarette, inhaling the vapours. my mobile terminal buzzed in my pocket, a flat slab of microchips and glossy touchscreen. I ignored it....... probably another Electronic-Mail

The Saints — 🖼️ Prints https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/helveticablanc/the-saints/

🃏 The Wormsong Oracle Deck https://helveticablanc.bigcartel.com

"you'll pay for this" - me as a cashier

fucking gotem lmao

bring his ass to a simmer

yes, maillard

Hang on I have to Google something

Okay yeah this is funny

Alphonse Osbert Moonlight c. 1896

It's so weird to me when people are like 'but that will cost the government money!' So what? They're the government, they're supposed to be spending money. What, you want them to take your tax dollars and then do nothing with it? Lock it all up in a big government vault and just look at it? Why are you so scared of giving a third grader lunch or a homeless person a house.

Tornado

I want every non-Midwesterner to know that we are drilled in tornado safety from a young age and know exactly what we should do to keep ourselves safe. And yet we do exactly as pictured in the bottom image every time a tornado comes around.

fuck it gradient map version i thought was cool too

Do you ever start bullshitting a paper, and then look over it halfway through and think, ’…Wait a minute, I could be onto something here.’

this is the definition of college.

Literally I was writing a paper on Asian salt water crocodiles, like a simple about them paper for a college class, and I started noticing some inconsistencies in the scientific papers I was sourcing and I accidentally discovered that the crocodile has been misdiagnosed as least concerned on the endangered species list when they should be classified as endangered and now my professor is having me write a formal report to the international Red List to have them reclassified and all I wanted to do was write this paper on an animal I thought was cool and now I’m considered an expert on this species…

this is how it works half of esteemed biologists trip and fall into their specialty while pursuing something else. one lecturer i just went to started as a biochemist researching antibiotics and discovered that crocodiles change colors based on environment and now he has 30+ crocs in his yard for research purposes and he’s just like… “wait… i’m a chemist…”

How did so many people end up with crocodiles on accident?????

you just go into science and after a while, crocodile…

J. J. Grandville

okay back to our regularly scheduled 12th century shitposting

Some closeups of the best graffiti I've ever seen