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I love tags it’s like muttering under your breath on the internet

#sometimes it’s like muttering under your breath sometimes it’s like adding a note in the margin of your scrapbook#and sometimes it’s like whispering a joke to the person next to you to try to make them laugh

Tim was not amused

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Bruce was not invited

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Sun Tzu is so fucking funny to me because for his time he was legitimately a brilliant tactician but a bunch of his insight is shit like "if you think you might lose, avoid doing that", "being outnumbered is bad generally", and "consider lying."

My personal favourite is his lengthy lecture on the subject of Supplies Being Very Important I Cannot Stress Enough The Importance Of Protecting Your Supply Lines But Also Supply Lines Are Expensive As Shit So Steal The Enemy’s Supplies At Every Opportunity. 

via- @elidyce

One of the more important things to consider about any historical work is the audience it was published for. The Art Of War was aimed at fancy nobles high on philosophy with little practical military experience who were nonetheless leading armies.

Sun Tzu, after desperatly trying to explain extremely basic logic to a bunch of upper-class twits, basically sat down and wrote the most elaborate "As per my last email" ever

the art of war is tedious and irritating when you read it as like, immortal prose by the most brilliant man ever to kick ass. but it’s incredibly fucking funny when you realize that sun tzu had to write every single one of those entries because someone somewhere did not know this ahead of time and made a really, really expensive oopsie doodles.

It's just a book of those incredibly specific and stupid sounding warning signs on stuff that you know mean somebody tried something ridiculous

Short haired dc girlies my beloved ,,

music boxes of various shapes, 1800s.

Ever feel like you belong in another time?

Happy International Asexuality Day!!! 🖤🩶🤍💜

there's a stage in sandwich consumption where it's falling to pieces & you're desperately cupping it in your hands & it's like this poor wounded animal that is covered in mustard & wants to die

Yes*

*provided chronic pain doesn't get me or my dog doesn't decode to wake me up at 3am so I can watch him go to his bed to sleep (brat).

In terms of how I have the great misfortune to inform everyone that a regular routine and sleep hygiene is kind of the crux of it all.

First things first: Choose a bedtime.

This is going to be the time that you're in bed with the lights out and your eyes closed. You are going to make this the same time every day. You can stay up past it here and there, but for the most part, every day you are gonna want to be snuggled up at this time.

Now, what time you choose depends on what time you want to get up for the day. Sleep isn't a singular long block of just one thing happening. It's actually a bunch of 90 minute REM cycles rolling one right after the other that you need to work with in order to not just sleep, but feel rested too. Waking up in the middle of a 90 minute block is going to make you feel like shit and if you're anything like me, will make you feel tired for the rest of the day even if you did get 7+ hours of sleep.

So, what you're going to do is figure out what time you want to be up in the morning (again, you're going to aim for this to be the same every day, though good news you can still chill in bed after this time. It's just the time you have to be awake).

Once you have your wake up time, throw that bitch in a sleep calculator. I like this one since it gives you options to choose from.

Keep in mind you may need to experiment to see how much sleep you, personally, need each night. 8 hours is the average, but averages aren't always helpful on the individual level. What is enough sleep for me may be not enough or too much for you (and too much sleep can actually make you feel just as tired as not enough).

Same goes for how long it takes you to fall asleep, you may need to go to bed earlier if it takes you longer to fall asleep to make sure your alarm isn't waking you up in the middle of a REM cycle.

Okay, with that out of the way, the actual nightly steps I take for going to bed and (again, barring outside stuff) getting a full night of sleep are these:

fucking love when I'm on a call with someone and they start to do a little errand or go somewhere else and they say "and you're coming with me" like. absolutely I am let's go on an adventure I've been spirited away

ooh ooh or when they accidentally drop the phone or something and go “i dropped you! :(“ like. that little glowing box you’re waving around does indeed house my soul!! it’s me!! you’re holding me!!!! and we’re going on a little trip together!!! delightful!!!!!!!!

i love the suggestion that the device they are holding is my corporeal form. very silly and whimsical

I fairly frequently tell people they’re going in my pocket for a second

A bunch of comics with Frederick (yes, he likes to chill in bars) 🦇🍷