Unmute !
IT IS VITALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU UNMUTE!!!!
question! if a workplace is violating labor laws (which they often are) is there anything that prevents an employee from:
i know retaliation is something many workers worry about, but bathrooms at least still don't have security cameras. so is this a practical and anonymous thing to do? and if so, why isn't it more common?
They can't have cameras inside the bathrooms, but they can have them pointing to the entrance of the bathrooms. They can figure out who put them up based on what time people went in and out. It would probably work the first couple of times, but retaliation would catch up pretty quick.
Tips if you do want to try something like this:
Don't create it/print it at work or use company paper/tape - there's a time to steal and there's a time to be sneaky. This is sneaky time.
Hide the paper & tape before you arrive (purse, pocket, etc)
Do it during busy bathroom times - start of the day / during breaks when lots of people are coming and going
Be quick and silent
Don't say anything to anyone about what you're up to
real question,
why do proshippers love rape so much? do you guys want to rape someone irl?
why do you guys love pedophilia/grooming so much? have you ever had thoughts about doing those actions or irl minors?
why do you guys love incest so much? is this just a way for you to vent your frustration cause your sibling(s) /step sibling(s) rejected you for your literal illegal behavior?
why do you guys love all these crimes so much? why do you love it when someone calls sexual and predatory abuse attractive as if it hasn't traumatized billions of people word wide?
this is like a genuine question I'm being deadass
Proshippers do not "love" these things. Rather, we're committed to defending the right of people to write about them - even in ways we might personally find disgusting or upsetting - because we understand that engaging with something in fiction is not predicated on defending or desiring it in real life. Even if someone is aroused by something in fiction, it doesn't logically follow that they're aroused by the same thing in real life, because context - the question of how, when, why and with whom - is foundational to both desire and consent. Meaning: it is possible - and, indeed, extremely normal - to enjoy something only as a fantasy: to be compelled, aroused by or interested in it only because it's fictional, in much the same way that we might be compelled, aroused by or interested in all manner of ideas or activities only under specific conditions.
For instance: I enjoy cake! But if someone handed me a piece of filthy, rotting cake they found on the floor, I would not want to eat it, because the context of the cake matters to my willingness to consume it. Similarly, I enjoy murder mysteries! But if someone in my life was brutally killed by an unknown assailant, I would be devastated, not entertained. And this latter example is particularly important, because our consumption of fiction is at all times informed by our awareness of the fact that the characters don't exist. No matter what befalls them on page, stage or screen, no real person has been harmed, which allows us to react to the content differently than if we were seeing the same events unfold in person, or in a live recording.
Now: it's true that, just as fiction is influenced by reality, so too can reality be influenced by fiction, both on the individual level and at scale. Fictional characters might not exist, but their stories still meaningfully impact real human beings, both positively and negatively. But this impact doesn't work on anything even vaguely resembling a universal, one-to-one basis, such that X story is guaranteed to cause Y effect, or that X topic is only ever explored for Y reason - and this is just as true for dark, unsettling and taboo topics as for anything else.
Which is why it's important to understand that, particularly when it comes to sex and desire, human beings are complex. At the most basic level of arousal, our bodies and brains are frequently in conflict. From teenagers dealing with unwanted erections to seniors mourning their loss of libido, none of us has perfect control over when and how we get turned on - and this extends to situations involving rape and assault. It is common, for instance, for rape victims to experience some level of arousal in response to their assault, because our bodies and minds do not exist in a state of perfect sync. Many victims experience deep shame as a result of this, thinking that, because they got hard or wet or came, they must've secretly wanted it - a trauma that's intensified if their assailant makes the same claim. Victims, too, can have complex relationships to their assailants, particularly if they were abused by family members or as children; can sometimes take years or decades to understand that they were harmed at all.
Regardless of whether we've been victimised ourselves, are proximal to someone else's trauma or are simply impacted by living in a world where such things can happen, fiction is the safest possible way to explore these ideas. But precisely because people are so different - precisely because our reactions to the same event or idea can vary so wildly - these stories will not always look the same. What disgusts or triggers one person might be healing to another, and that's not determined by how eroticized the content is or isn't. Sexual trauma responses can encompass opposite extremes: where one rape victim might be utterly repulsed by rape content and need to avoid it for their healing, another victim will feel compelled to seek or create it in order to achieve the same ends, and neither of them is wrong.
I have, for instance, known victims to write their own assaults into fiction. Sometimes these accounts are eroticized as a way of regaining control over a situation in which they had none. Perhaps the writer wants to accurately depict the confusion they felt at being aroused while being assaulted; or, conversely, perhaps their lack of arousal at the time increased the level of physical pain they experienced, and they want to write something which shows that, even if they had been aroused, it would still have been rape. Or on yet a third hand, perhaps they weren't sure if a given experience was rape or not, and want to try and make sense of it. Perhaps they want to try and imagine their assailant's perspective, to better comprehend what happened to them and why. This might mean a complicated, nuanced depiction that sways between awareness of the crime and minimization of it; it might also involve painting them as a flat-out villain, or as someone who believed they were acting only out of love. All of these things are possible! But no matter how much some or all of these portrayals might disgust you, the casual reader, you will not be able to tell, just by looking, who has "really" been assaulted, and who is exploring these topics for other reasons.
Because of course, not all people who write about abuse have experienced it themselves; nor should this be a requirement. Sometimes, we write about dark things, not to achieve catharsis in relation to a personal experience, but to conquer our fear of it happening to us, or perhaps even just to get an adrenaline rush - as is, for instance, extremely common with fans of horror content. Our brains produce a variety of fun chemicals in response to various stimuli, and we don't generally get to choose which ones we find the most engaging. Some people are horror junkies from childhood, seeking out scary stories from the moment they're old enough to ask for them, while others remain terrified of something as mild as cartoon comedy horror well into old age. There's no morality associated with this; it just is - and that all comes back, once again, to the fact that we understand fiction as a separate thing to reality. No matter how horrific the thing depicted, our enjoyment (of whatever kind) is predicated on knowing that no actual human beings being harmed, even if the bad in the story - an axe murder, a war, a rape - is something that really does happen.
And returning again to matters of sex, regardless of whether they rise to the level of a kink or fetish, all sexual proclivities are ultimately products of native inclination, life experience, trauma, and/or the overlap of all three, while a specific fantasy might be either literal, metaphoric or a mix of both. A literal fantasy, for instance, might be: what if my hot boss fucked me over his desk at work, because he's hot and I want to sleep with him. A metaphoric version of the same fantasy might be: what if I was so insanely desirable that my boss fucked me despite his being married and straight and me being a man.
To take another example, and one which has been studied extensively by psychologists, literary historians and academics alike, rape fantasies are commonplace, not because the vast majority of people are rape apologists, but because, at the level of metaphor, they allow the possibility of sex without having to take ownership of one's own desires, which is of particular value if, say, you've been taught that wanting sex makes you slutty and wrong and gross; which is, in turn, why so many old Harlequin and Mills & Boon romances feature encounters that we'd now class as non-consensual between the hero and heroine. It wasn't because the writers didn't understand rape: it was because they were writing in a time where women were taught that wanting sex made them harlots, such that it was difficult for them to fantasize without shame. The hero knowing what the heroine "really" wanted and giving it to her despite her protests was a loophole.
I could go on, but the key point is this: given that nobody on Earth can perfectly control their own arousal, it is imperative to acknowledge that being turned on by something doesn't mean wanting it in real life, because the alternative is forcing yourself to choose between sexual shame and justifying it in real life. And neither of those things has ever led anywhere good.
I will testify that even if I strongly dislike, utterly hate, and cannot stand a character, I will never go on someones post talking about liking that character and say so. Basic decency and all that
This applies to ships and aus and headcanons, and everything too. Message your friends, make your own post, block and mute, do whatever you want in private, but don't be rude on other people's post 🫡
most basic treatments for sickness involve some form of salt water (drinking electrolytes, gargling with warm salt water, epsom salt baths) as a way of microdosing going to the seaside
critical role gif meme - [1/8] members of vox machina - percival fredrickstein von musel klossowski de rolo III
Addressing a recent accusation I got hit with that was co-signed by a decently well-known author! Not sure if their path to success was way smoother than mine or something, but I've never spoken any lies when it comes to my personal experiences in publishing, and the paths of the majority of authors I know have not been smooth either. I think most people will find both job-hunting and querying agents to be absolutely soul-crushing and not easy at all. It personally took me 7 years to find my first agent, and the book she signed didn't even sell.
I'm sorry if anyone feels discouraged by hearing what I say, but I think it's better to go in grounded in the reality that a business will act like a business than to be disappointed and crushed and left wondering if *you're* just not good enough, which is often not the case. I have so many friends whose amazing, very readable books get rejected left and right not for reasons to do with quality, but marketing. "We don't know how to market this." "We don't know whether to shelf this in YA or Adult." "We already have something too similar." All of these kinds of rejections are not about the writing, yet they are SO common, and they're proof that it's not a meritocracy. Therefore, you really shouldn't tie your self-worth into how many rejections or offers you get. (Like I did at one point. It took me to a dark, DARK place and it's a miracle that I'm still here.)
I do struggle to actively encourage aspiring writers nowadays, but that's because I struggle to convince even myself to keep going. I'm still not technically a full-time author, and I'm glad to have other options, so I'm not left scrambling to push out book after book no matter the quality or the detriment to my health to keep relevant. I'm someone who had an overly rosy view of publishing while trying to break in, and there are many decisions I would not make again if I were to start over. I have no intention of stopping anyone from chasing their dreams (and seriously COULDN'T), but people deserve to know what they're getting into. It's always worth having a backup plan, because sometimes even IF you achieve your dreams, you'll find that it's not what you imagined.
wow! your understanding of this character is so. . . Unique! just wondering by the way but when was the last time you directly interacted with the source media
respectfully to everyone whos been like Well have you considered idc about the source media and im doing whatever i want with my little blorbos <3 like... you know thats allowed right. like thats fine. i am not condemning you. But you have to accept the fact that nobody has that context besides you unless you put that disclaimer on everything you make. and youre not gonna do that. so if i go into a character tag and see someone call the character, who is canonically a cat, a dog with no extra explanation with their whole chest, i am not going to go Ohhh haha theyre just playing dolls! i am going to go Just wondering by the way but when was the last time you directly interacted with the source media
Anonymous asked:
I love the way you publicly forgive people who apologize after you’ve called them out. Visibly demonstrating a willingness to allow people to grow and change is really important and you have a big platform so it’s great to watch you do it. Genuinely and sincerely with no condescension, you demonstrate the line between not just eating whatever the internet hands you and also not just holding a grudge all scorched earth. It’s meaningful to see and I admire it.
becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys answered:
Thank you so much for saying this! It’s something I’ve worked at. I certainly haven’t been so good at this in the past lol. I was very reactive in my 20s, but I learned eventually that I’m a lot happier when I give benefit of the doubt and don’t try to say the most aggressively bitchy thing possible when riled. It feels good in the moment, sure, but it never ends well; you don’t get to drop a satisfying zinger and have the whole bus applaud and then your opponent goes away to sulk alone and yay, you’ve won! What’s more likely is (a) your opponent responds and now you’re in a war of attrition with no good answers and zero satisfaction, (b) your opponent turns out to have said something completely different from what you thought and everyone thinks you’re a cunt, or © your opponent cries because you’ve given them a breakdown and now you’re just a bully.
Or. Or you can just. Explain the issue without apology or censure, and let them explain. And then go from there based on their response. And it’s amazing how often they apologise because they hadn’t intended it that way, or hadn’t ever thought about it that way, or what have you. And thus you spare both you and them a whole lot of unpleasantness that makes you feel worse in the long run.
Although, ha, what’s a bit weird about this approach is the number of random bystanders who try to insert themselves completely unnecessarily in a sort of mediator role. Like someone will make a Problematic Comment, and I say “That has Problematic connotations” so that they can explain themselves and either double down or clarify/apologise, and suddenly a whole bunch of others step in and go “I think they may have just meant this Non-Problematic thing.” And every time I’m like… yeah? Yeah they might. Which is why I’m giving THEM the chance to explain that’s the case. Your conjecture is completely useless. I, too, can think they MIGHT have meant that. I’m asking them to confirm or deny. You do not have that answer; only they do.
It’s a very strange and very common phenomenon. And, you know, I get it; these are people who think they’re being helpful, because they’ve seen internet clashes before and they want to head them off at the pass. It’s not actually harmful as a practice either. It’s just unfortunately utterly useless in every way lol.
In any case, though - thank you, so much, for sending me this! It’s very kind. I hope you have a great weekend