The thing that gets me right now about Buddie is that. There was a post I saw over a year ago that said something like, "Buck knows he's queer but not that he's in love with his best friend and Eddie knows he's in love with his best friend but not that he's queer," and how. just. that's what's tearing them both up inside.
Buck wants to be in love with Taylor, with Natalia, with Tommy. He's so happy to be out and aware that he's bi. But he's in love with Eddie. And that's horrible because that's his best friend. He can't ruin their friendship - the best thing in his life - by telling Eddie he's in love with him. He wants so badly to be in love with someone else so that he can have Eddie the way he thinks Eddie wants him - best friendship - and he can also have the romance and partner he craves.
And Eddie can't be in love with Buck. Because being in love with Buck means facing a part of him that will, in his mind, make his life messier and more complicated and oh JFC don't even get him started on his parents. You know that he wishes like anything that his best friend was a woman so that he could fall in love with Buck while also not having to look at that part of himself.
But the thing is - the fact that Eddie is Buck's best friend, and the fact that Buck is a man - is why they're in love.
Eddie thinks he has to be perfect and have it all under control to the point where he consistently makes life choices without consulting the people affected (Shannon, Chris, Buck, etc) because he thinks that's his job as Man of the House, as Father, as Husband, and he can't show the messy parts of himself. The crux of his issues with Ana and Marisol is that he never, ever, ever let them get in close. He'll fuck them, he'll play house with them, but he will never actually let them in. If Buck was a woman, Eddie would never have let Buck get in close. He never would have let Buck step in with Chris, with his breakdown, with all of it. But because it was wrapped up in the nebulous 'best friendship' umbrella and Buck wasn't someone Eddie thought he could (or should) want sexually/romantically, he did. He doesn't need to provide, take care of, or play a heternormative role for Buck, and that's how Buck snuck in there.
Of course you fell in love with your best friend who's a man, Eddie. It was never going to be any other way.
And Buck thinks that falling in love with his best friend means he's constantly on the edge of ruining his life and Eddie's life and he wishes so badly to fall in love with someone else and doesn't realize that it's Eddie being his best friend that has him so deeply in love. Buck never performed for Eddie. Because he didn't see Eddie as a romantic option he didn't do any of the over the top things he tends to do for his romances, and he didn't hide the parts of himself out of fear that partner won't like them. Buck just stepped inside with Eddie and supported him. He had no expectations, no plans, so he just let the relationship - the love - grow naturally. Buck is so fucking desperate to be loved and to have a partner, to have the relationships he sees the rest of his family having, and it means he'll chop off pieces of himself, he'll put himself last, he'll do anything to be what he thinks the other person wants and needs, and he'll rush WAY too fast into intimacy and generally just. make a mess. But Eddie's just Eddie. He's the best friend. So Buck pushes Eddie when Eddie needs it. He's patient. He lets Eddie see all of himself, and he calls Eddie out when Eddie's done something that hurts Buck, and apologizes in turn. He had no expectations. He didn't hide.
Of course you fell in love with your best friend, Buck. It was never going to be any other way.
And they are both so fucking convinced they are in a tragedy. Wanting the one person they can't have. Can't be with a man, this will fuck up my entire life, and why would he want me anyway. Can't be with my best friend, this will fuck up my entire life, and he couldn't want me anyway. They have no idea what genre they're really in.
They think they're in a tragedy, but they're in a romance, and they do say your partner should be your best friend.