Mum’s pacing slowly towards [Stede] like Chris Patt in Jurassic World. Her hands are outstretched and she’s nodding comfortingly. “Darling, I think maybe you’re just confused.”
Ed snorts. All eyes turn to him.
“Er,” Ed manages, more awkward than Stede’s ever seen him. “Don’t think he is confused. I mean, I can’t speak for Stede, but pretty sure he’s definitely not straight. And that’s just based on the way he spent the entire week fucking me like a bull. Guy’s a powerhouse.”
Mary laughs. “Wait, really?”
“Oh yeah. He does this thing where–”
“STOP,” dad explodes. “Who are you again?”
“Right. Hi.” Ed raises his hand in a small wave. “Edward Teach. Born on a beach. Gay, Polynesian, and Jewish, which I’m sure you’ll get a right fuckin’ kick out of.”
The smugness of this introduction makes Stede want to pin Ed against a wall and kiss his gorgeous face off, which he seriously considers. Instead he takes his side and his hand, nodding once in firm decision. “Thanks for dropping by, mum and dad, but I don’t live here anymore. If you want to find me, I now live at 23 Go To Hell, Sod-Off Street.”
Stede turns on his heel and storms out, pulling Ed along with him. He skips to keep up with Stede, a huge grin on his face.
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