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ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

*clicks play in morbid curiosity*

*hammers reblog button*

I think I find this post every April Fools Day and I am so happy that I do

never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It

signs at stores? émail? menu ?? instruction ? post online ? caption with andswer to question ? group hand outs ??? street sign ??? no. The Written Word Is The Enemy

#The number of compliments i have gotten for reading a thing

The ability to occasionally Read A Thing will make you a hero in your workplace, especially if it is for example an error message that tells you what you need to do differently, or instructions on unjamming a printer.

how dare you say we put jam in the printer

I love all the recession advice people are busting out because it’s like you all were still going out to eat on the regular? And buying new clothes every month? And going on expensive vacations? And going to $100+ shows multiple times a month?

So, let me guess– you just started a new book, right? And you’re stumped. You have no idea how much an AK47 goes for nowadays. I get ya, cousin. Tough world we live in. A writer’s gotta know, but them NSA hounds are after ya 24/7. I know, cousin, I know. If there was only a way to find out all of this rather edgy information without getting yourself in trouble…

You’re in luck, cousin. I have just the thing for ya.

It’s called Havocscope. It’s got information and prices for all sorts of edgy information. Ever wondered how much cocaine costs by the gram, or how much a kidney sells for, or (worst of all) how much it costs to hire an assassin?

I got your back, cousin. Just head over to Havocscope.

((PS: In case you’re wondering, Havocscope is a database full of information regarding the criminal underworld. The information you will find there has been taken from newspapers and police reports. It’s perfectly legal, no need to worry about the NSA hounds, cousin ;p))

Want more writerly content? Follow maxkirin.tumblr.com!

Assassins

“Below are selected prices that are paid to professional assassins by criminal organizations and drug cartels for a contract hit.

In Australia, the median price to hire a hit man is $13,610 (9,800 Euros), with the price going up to $83,000 (60,000 Euros) based on the task.

In Mexico, the cost for a low level assassin is $208 (150 Euros), and up to $20,832 (15,000 Euros) for a higher profile target like a police chief.

The prices paid in Argentina are between $3,749 (2,700 Euros) to $5,555 (4,000 Euros) per hit.

Government statistics in Spain state that 40 assassinations take place each year, with prices for the hit ranging between $27 (20 Euros) to $69,000 (50,000 Euros).”

So cheap! I always thought things like this would cost more than $1 million…

This is super useful to know!

and not just for writing!!

@katherine-rose

HOLY FUCK

HOW MANY HOURS HAVE I WASTED TRYING TO FIND HEROIN PRICES ON THE INTERNET WHAT A GREAT DATABASE

I needed this

Actually useful. Sometimes incognito isn’t enough.

and suddenly my life just became much easier

I’ve heard of this before but the GIFs made it better 

Do criminals also use the “take one, get the second cheaper!” marketing trick?

question! if a workplace is violating labor laws (which they often are) is there anything that prevents an employee from:

i know retaliation is something many workers worry about, but bathrooms at least still don't have security cameras. so is this a practical and anonymous thing to do? and if so, why isn't it more common?

They can't have cameras inside the bathrooms, but they can have them pointing to the entrance of the bathrooms. They can figure out who put them up based on what time people went in and out. It would probably work the first couple of times, but retaliation would catch up pretty quick.

Tips if you do want to try something like this:

Don't create it/print it at work or use company paper/tape - there's a time to steal and there's a time to be sneaky. This is sneaky time.

Hide the paper & tape before you arrive (purse, pocket, etc)

Do it during busy bathroom times - start of the day / during breaks when lots of people are coming and going

Be quick and silent

Don't say anything to anyone about what you're up to

kinda hard to take it seriously people complaining about "toxic yuri" this, "toxic yaoi" that. i grew up on toxic comp het; in my day we called them "cartoon sitcoms"

really enjoying all the videos Muslims have been posting of their cats looking like this

when the humans are up at 4 am for suhoor

did you know that you can just go online and be nice to people? you can give people compliments and helpful advice when they ask? you can encourage people when they need a little cheering up? you can even share cute pictures! more people should use the internet like that.

Look at my chicken

How to be a trans ally 101, from To Wong Foo (1995)

i'm reminded of those posts from trans women who stated in their experiences that by far most cis women they interact with in person aren't transphobic towards them. and that recent study that showed the uk population is more accepting of trans people than they perceive each other to be (ie 2 uk polls, "do you think most people are trans friendly" vs "are you trans friendly"). i think there's more love and acceptance in this world than transphobes want you to believe. you are not as hated as legislators and conservative news outlets would lead you to believe.

I am one of those trans women out in the world, a conservative part, even, and I can tell you that there is *far* less transphobia out there than they'd like you to believe. Coming out at my job in a small, conservative town was terrifying, especially during the time where I became forced center of attention. But you know how people reacted? Curiosity, mostly. I answered some questions and they went on with their lives. Sure, there's some transphobic people here, but they're outnimbered quite a bit by the people who see me as just some girl.

I'ma just leave these here for like... *Cough* Research purposes and such.

Guys the thing about the tragedy of Jason's life is that I don't think that only *he* did it to himself. No, I'm not talking about the Joker.

Retroactively supporting trans artists by backing Kickstarter campaigns whose creators end up coming out before the project delivers.

Remember, come out before it ships, so there isn’t a bunch of credits screenshots with your deadname floating around.

(In memory of Dani Bunten, whose deadname was on every copy of the classic 8-bit game M.U.L.E., before online updates were a thing.)

I've literally managed crowdfunding campaigns where somebody on the team came out to me in between the project funding and the rewards being shipped specifically to avoid having their deadname on the credits page. This has happened on multiple unconnected occasions.

do y'all remember when they found all that tf art in Osamu Tezuka's drawer post-mortem because I think about it often

anyway keep chasing your bliss and draw weird shit, god knows we need that right now

😈 You are not bound by the Hays code.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who are not punished by the narrative by the end of the story.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who win.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who make evil look fun and cool.

😈 You are allowed to make your fun, cool evil character the protagonist.

😈 You are allowed to glorify, romanticize and eroticize evil characters and villainous acts.

😈 You are not obligated to teach your audience a moral lesson.

In light of recent events, let’s not forget that H. Bomberguy is responsible for driving a formerly-beloved transphobic TV writer into a downward spiral that cost him his career and his family… all by playing Donkey Kong.

Let’s also not forget that Jim Sterling is now Stephanie Sterling!

Good for her. Good for her.