Nevertheless, the turtle moves

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

THE DEMON OF YUNMENG

Chapter One/ AU MasterlistChapter Thirteen

Yeah, he had definitely overdone it on range — they were lucky that the compass hadn’t just brought them to the fucking burial mounds. Still, Lan Zhan’s stamina was as impressive as his speed, and if Wei Wuxian clung to him too hard as they flew, well. That could have just been him being wanton.

They managed to triangulate the source to a high mountain cave whose entrance was, indeed, heavy with resentment. Even if there had been corpses strewn at the rocky shelf, as the growing whispers suggested there should be, the cold would have desiccated their bodies.

So the scent of blood in the air was just a memory, a hundred hundred deaths echoing over one another.

Perfect.

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Pinned Post mdzs my au mdzs au no 1 the demon of yunmeng mdzs fanfic mo dao zu shi

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

THE DEMON OF YUNMENG

Chapter One/ AU MasterlistChapter Twelve

“Ah — ah, Lan Zhan, hold on a second.” Wei Wuxian put a hand against the center of Lan Wangji’s chest and attempted to lean back. 

Lan Wangji complied slowly, lavishing a final bite on his ear before straightening, messy hair and shiny lips at odds with his smooth expression.

Wei Wuxian steadied himself with an appreciative breath. Even better than staying in a town big enough to sell clothing and copper was staying in a town big enough to have an inn with large beds and fancy bath beans. Not that Lan Zhan had smelled bad before, but still. They had been getting a little musty, what with one thing and another.

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nsfw mdzs wangxian fanfic wangxian my au The Demon of Yunmeng mdzs au no 1 ohhhoughh i love this chapter and have so much to say it's one of the core “write a fic for a scene” scenes of this so i've been sitting on it a while i think im just gonna make a seperate post this weekend

CHAPTER TWELVE

THE DEMON OF YUNMENG

Chapter One/ AU MasterlistChapter Eleven

Between waiting for laundry to dry, compiling notes, and… various other activities, it took until late morning the next day to break camp.

Traversing the increasingly steep countryside turned out to be significantly more easygoing than walking the gentle valleys and roads of the days before. It was more easygoing than literally any time he had spent with Lan Zhan ever — maybe easier than anytime Wei Wuxian had spent with anyone, at least since before the war.

It might have been his imagination, but he could have sworn he saw Lan Zhan almost smile at some of his ramblings. Not with teeth. Or even lips. And his skin was too good to betray him with obvious lines around the eyes, but still something in the way the muscles of his jaw shifted —

In any case having sex (does humping each other at various angles through clothing count as sex? Kissing definitely didn’t really feel like a comprehensive enough word. Whatever, cutsleeve orgasms) had definitely mellowed Lan Zhan out a bunch.

…Mellow might not be the word.

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mdzs mo dao zu shi mdzs fanfic wangxian nsfw my au nevertheless writing mdzs au no 1 The Demon of Yunmeng completely off screen but the reason that mountain pond has fish is because there’s a giant eel monster which feeds off it ambiguous whether or not the eel moved in and stocked the pond itself or some people did in order to keep the eel fat in this valley instead of going anywhere else there was going to be a brief side bit where wwx realizes post sexy times that there should not ecologically be fish in this isolated rainfed lake and they find the eel and mutually agree its not a threat to people and shouldn’t be killed lil bit more of having something in common regarding sympathy for monsters and minimizing violence while also teasing possible power couple fight scene but this fic is already getting so insanely long so just use your imagination alright more plot driving porn next chapter i realize few people probably questioned the fish in my extremely vague terrain description but i knew where i meant LWJ: cloud recesses doesn’t have a lot of spicy food WWX: oh my god you poor bastard LWJ: but if wy wanted to visit. I - WWX [already bending over]: fucking my ass would make you feel better about it right? LWJ [lost control of his life]: mn

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THE DEMON OF YUNMENG

Chapter One/ AU MasterlistChapter Ten

Holy FUCK my pants are disgusting. 

It was an unpleasant thought to wake up to. But it was an even more unpleasant sensation.

Setting that aside for the time being, Wei Wuxian forced himself to his hands and knees, arching outward and inward to crack his back into something resembling normal shape. A vision assaulted him — Lan Zhan returning to the tent and catching him in this position. He had to stuff a fist into his mouth to hold back laughter at the following mental image of Hunguang-Jun mounting a clothed man and humping him like a beast until completion. 

Holy shit, he actually would, wouldn’t he? He would for sure be into that.

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mdzs my au mdzs fanfiction wangxian feel like its more canon than fanon that wwx HAD to have been publishing like crazy at some point for his inventions and ideas to have gained the widespread adoption they had 13 years later and i assume the majority of that had to have been in the narrow post war pre yllz era ...though it is funny to imagine him chucking a dirty bundle of paper from the burial mounds at the cultivation world detailing corpse classification and everyone just accepts it as gospel but yeah i assume jiang cheng turned at least SOME profit off “Soul vs Body Eating 101” and “Best Spells to Trap Monsters With” or whatever annoyingly brilliant shit he put out there this fic has a non zero amount of off screen post-sex lwj running around doing things of various levels of hinged
emmy-way
mrsdazais-blog:
“captain-of-the-historicfuture:
“ itsquietinsantafe:
“ the-mighty-tor:
“ blakegdiamond:
“ easyvirgin:
“ happy Thursday the 20th
”
I’d have to wait months or even years for another chance to reblog this, so why the fuck not?
”
next...
easyvirgin

happy Thursday the 20th

blakegdiamond

I’d have to wait months or even years for another chance to reblog this, so why the fuck not?

the-mighty-tor

next days you can reblog this on a Thursday the 20th

August 2015

October 2016

April 2017

July 2017

September 2018

December 2018

June 2019

February 2020

August 2020

You know, just in case you wanted to set your queue for the next 6 years

itsquietinsantafe

TODAY

captain-of-the-historicfuture

Since it’s now August 20, 2020… The next days you can reblog this on a Thursday the 20th:

  • May 2021
  • January 2022
  • October 2022
  • April 2023
  • July 2023
  • June 2024
  • February 2025
  • March 2025
  • November 2025
  • August 2026

If you wanted to set your queue for the next six years.

mrsdazais-blog

I gotta take my chances

colorfulraven
nevertheless-moving

"Fornication," Wit whispered, staring with haunted eyes at nothing. "That's not Rayse at all. He stole - that reproducing bastard. He stole my breaths."

The rage in the generally amicable man's voice was enough to dissuade Kaladin from asking about the bizarre word choice.

Shallan, evidently, did not have that problem.

"Fornication?" she repeated incredulously.

"It's a curse word," Wit said through gritted teeth. "Used to be common, but it's fallen out of favor among shardplanets the last several thousand years for some stupid CHILD CREATING reason."

Wit snarled, pacing the tent furiously.

"Which is a real PLEASURABLE PHYSICAL INTERACTION shame because now i sound really copulatingly stupid swearing with connection based direct translations, but cursing by 'Gods' or the dead or the weather or whatever intense intimacy else this vigorous impregnation planet swears by is NOT as satisfying when i am this LOVEMAKINGLY angry."

Wit kicked a chair, which flew with shocking force, tearing a hole in sturdy canvas siding. He stared at the tear, exhausted, then collapsed, arms wrapping around himself.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to Jasnah, who was approaching cautiously, in full Armour. "I shouldn't have done that. I generally don't have enough of a temper to lose it like that, but...gender neutral attempt at babies. He stole my breaths. I don't even know how much I lost...it will take decades to do an inventory, and even then...there's important secrets I vowed to protect. Lost people I swore to remember. Oaths I can't even properly remember making anymore, but I have to - I..."

Jasnah knelt down, taking Wit in her arms as he wept softly.

"And I can't even coitally curse right anymore," he sobbed.

aranaya

[Wind and Truth spoilers]

I love that Hoid's first appearance has him saying "Oh *hell*" and then "oh *bollocks*" right as he notices his missing memories, and the weird cursing instantly reminded me of this post.

nevertheless-moving

yeah that scene pleased me inordinately

stormlight archive wind and truth wat spoilers nevertheless cosmere
why-is-it-always-autumn
raptorific

Fun thing about football right now is that there's a move called the "brotherly shove" that the Eagles do when they're very close to scoring, where the whole team puts their hands on the ass of the guy with the ball and physically propels him over the line into the endzone for the touchdown, and all the other teams' fans hate it because it's got such a ridiculously high rate of success for the Eagles and doesn't really seem to work for any other team. People are straight-up calling for this move to be banned, claiming it's "unstoppable" and gives an "unfair advantage" but it really and truly is a skill issue. The whole league hates this move because it only makes the Eagles win more often and nobody else can figure out how to do it right

raptorific

Other teams are so afraid of it that they panic and do some wacky looney tunes shit to try and stop it. The refs had to come out on the field and tell the bad guys to stop doing this

image

because it's blatantly against the rules of football, and that if they tried it a fourth time in a row that they would just straight-up grant a free touchdown to the Eagles

raptorific

The rest of the NFL: this move doesn't work for us but it always works for the eagles... how do we stop them, we've tried everything...
Washington Commanders Linebacker Frankie Luvu: ...not everything...
Washington Commanders Linebacker Frankie Luvu:

image
rogueonewon

CALL IT BY ITS REAL NAME

image
go birds

So You Just Killed Palpatine

In Which, Much To Obi-Wan Kenobi’s Surprise, While Dealing With The Consequences of One’s Own Action’s Can Be A Lot, It Isn’t Always Entirely A Bad Thing

originally inspired by this and this from anon and husborth

Part One, Part Two, Part Three … Part Fo … uh … there’s memes somewhere… Anyway Here’s Part Five:

Obi-Wan blinked awake, head cloudy and body heavy, as if under unusually high gravity. But no, there was the all-too-recognizable ceiling of the temple healing halls, its mosaic ceiling drifting in lazy, clockwise circles.

What did I do this time? Wait, there was something I had to tell the rest of the Jedi…something important…

Oh dear, he was on the good painkillers, wasn’t he?

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star wars star wars au no 41 star wars fanfiction just kill him au my au ayyyyyyyy guess who just finished writing a fanfic from three years and several fandoms ago ahahahahahahahaha this one goes out to bullet journeling and my new antidepressants! Antidepressants and bullet journeling! Sometimes they help you do stuff on purpose! lol i'm writing these tags before actually finishing the fic. it's November 2024 for the sake of the record POSITIVE VISUALIZATION BABY if anyone wants to do a beta read on this for typos/grammar before i put it on ao3 feel free to message :) senate investigation committee: what do you mean most of the evidence you collected before your duel is gone Obi-Wan: it. it— Vos: it exploded! Obi-Wan (through clenched teeth): yes. as my colleague says. it. exploded. senate investigation committee: [nodding] ah yes things connected to him do have the tendency to do that don't they Obi-Wan: ...mhm Plo Koon (on his third mug of space red bull that day): alright sith killer we found ANOTHER sith lab because — get this — Vos: it exploded when he died? Plo Koon: [making finger guns] it EXPLODED when he died!!! Obi-Wan: Obi-Wan: why is there a small jango fett clone attached to you Kit Fisto: we're testing out an emotional support jango fett clone program. do you want one? Obi-Wan: ...i genuinely have no idea if you're joking or not Kit Fisto: to be honest neither am I Obi-Wan: ... Kit Fisto: there are a LOT of small jango fetts
hermanatorus
nevertheless-moving

if there's ever a stormlight archive live action adaption I would be ok with the male protaganists being unreasonable cut but ONLY the bridgeman and ONLY during way of kings because for a bunch of that they are canonically dehydrated

hermanatorus

The rest need to be build like fucking logs and have fat stores to match the fact that the world tries to kill them all periodically as just like a nature thing

Stormlight archive U get it Kaladin may continue to look like skin stretched over muscle but this should be called out in row under 'hey man you look bad' and should improve during row retirement era