Hey here's some unsolicited decor advice: get a bowl. put it on your coffee table. fill it with objects that are Good To Hold. Watch your guests be satisfied.

For example, I have this bowl of polished rock orbs. (and one glass ball.) they serve no purpose but everyone who comes into my home picks up at least one of them and just kinda rolls it around in their hands.

"Whatever comes next, I do not think it is to be feared."

Now consider: a man in a dress. Not in drag or all dressed up or anything. No accessories, no makeup or styling, just wearing the dress, some ratty boxers and muddy sneakers. No socks or stockings, hairy legs in the open air, just raw dogging those nasty shoes. Hair mildly damp. Visibly sleep-deprived. Bruises on shoulders, elbows and knees, left palm bleeding. Sitting on a curb on the street, shivering, looking wretched, and absolutely miserable.

I forgot where I was going with this.

the original got flagged with no way to appeal it when every contributor is deactivated but I will never let this post die. it's monday and we are getting on it cunts

it's pūkeko.

the people have spoken: it's pūkeko!

Being an evil doppelganger has to be so fucked up like imagine meeting a better version of yourself. Some chain of events going differently that led to "you" being a better person in a way you can never achieve. Personally I'd have no other option but to try and kill them

It's always "oh no my evil clone or twin or whatever is trying to kill me" and never How is my evil clone? Says a lot about society

Me, crashing the fuck out: you think you're better than me? You think you're fucking better than me???

My good clone, dodging a glass: I mean like objectively yeah

girl unhinge ur jaw

UNCLENCH. I MEANT UNCLENCH

If there's one thing you should know about me, it's that there are two things you should know about me, and those two things are my fists. Square up

For the last time dude, my leitmotif sounds exactly like it always has. There is no symbolism for creeping corruption in there

i think there’s actually nothing better than being randomly told “I love you” after doing something characteristically stupid. Like what do you mean I’m a lovable person and I just did something silly and you thought “of course you would do that. I love you.”. No better feeling

also "ough life-saving essential medical equipment uses so much plastic" in this country you can purchase an artificial ballsack for your pickup truck

"ough watching a show uses so much electricity" on road sides there are giant electrified billboards that do nothing but show you ads

Thank you for the perspective check

Rest in peace, River Boy. We’ll listen to you, still.

Edit, and for context:

Dude has a death wish

Delighted to announce this bird is real and is a corvid.

Truly the family that just keeps giving.

I haven’t seen it in the notes yet, so afaik, here’s the source of that video! So now you can see the funny poison bird much more clearly.

It was taken by a biologist that studies birds so it seems like he knows what he’s doing. For the most part. Here’s his caption:

You all know that he 100% licked his fingers after handling that bird

I can’t leave this in the tags, I’m sorry.