“I bought this before Elon went crazy” doesnt work on a cybertruck because anyone with half a brain knows they were the horsemen harrolding his crazy in the first place. you can’t go around calling yourself a big boy if you’re still latched onto the teat.
on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport the first person on the moon went there by accident and promptly died. The next dozen or so people also went by accident, and also died. Number 14 figured out that people who go to the moon die and very cleverly brought a sword and six weeks of travel rations. This did not help.
No one on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport ever figured out why people die in space because they don’t need airplanes and never found it particularly interesting to climb tall mountains. Astronomers use telescopes to take pictures of the ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon.
“why don’t they teleport back” because they’re not on the planet where everyone can teleport anymore. try to keep up dumbass
god this is embarrassing imagine saying this. imagine saying these words in that order. imagine thinking that thats an own. i genuinely cannot think of a more succinct way of saying “ive never listened to a single green day song before” elon did you really think you were the good guy in american idiot. are you kidding me. kill yourself
imagine being the literal richest person in the world and not thinking you’re the machine
love green day for pissing off these losers with the same song for two decades and counting.
i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there’s a slug on their plant and so you’re like “Oh haha you’ve got a friend there let me get that for you” and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is “would you like this free slug with your purchase”
@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful
whenever i find a good world heritage post i do my best to carefully remove unnecessary “why is this so funny!!” or “i cant believe i found the original” reblog comments. sometimes it takes a bit of work digging back through the reblog graph to accomplish this but fine art restoration is tedious but important work
We literally cannot let them start charging 80 dollars for video games 70 dollars was already outrageous 60 was pushing it. 80 fucking dollars. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND. For MARIO?!?!?!?!?
never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It
signs at stores? émail? menu ?? instruction ? post online ? caption with andswer to question ? group hand outs ??? street sign ??? no. The Written Word Is The Enemy
The ability to occasionally Read A Thing will make you a hero in your workplace, especially if it is for example an error message that tells you what you need to do differently, or instructions on unjamming a printer.
