catboybiologist:

asexualzoro:

catboybiologist:

catboybiologist:

catboybiologist:

I’m sorry I’m going fucking insane over trans people in sports issues the anti trans crowd has lost the fucking plot and then has the audacity to act like its the trannies who are ridiculous

I used to be of the “well the sports issue isn’t really important to me its w/e I just don’t want it to be a gateway into other transphobia” but oh my fucking god we are so far gone. The fencing shit is sending me over the edge. What the fuck.

I can’t even articulate my words so I’m just going to tell a story in screenshots

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I am so fucking tired of being gaslit about this

I’m also still so fucking pissed that we have to include “ooo the trans fencer only finished in X place” because its a reminder that trans women will never be allowed to excel at anything in the public eye without being cut down. Fuck OFF

i hope you don’t mind me adding to this post op but i’ve got a sorta personal connection to this story. for ppl who do not know this about me, ive been fencing for like five years and am trans. i also used to fence in the same circles as this woman

this woman—stephanie turner is her name, because i think people should know it so this shit can ruin her life—regularly fences cis men and wins because fencing is fucking co-ed

i know that is in the screenshots already, but what i can add which isn’t in the screenshot is that i personally know and have fenced some of the people listed in that “competition history” screenshot, including some of the cis men which she beat. i know from fencing them myself that these guys are good, smart, capable fencers

that said, even if i didn’t know them, i could tell you a lot of these guys are solid. do you see that column labeled “rating”? being rated means they’ve placed very well or won medals at prestigious or decently sized tournaments—E is the lowest rating (but still difficult to get) and ratings go up to A (and U means unrated). if you look, you can see she beat a few rated fencers in that screenshot, some of them male!

another thing i know about stephanie turner is that she fences at a club my friend’s brother works at. she regularly beats said brother, who is 6’4 and 200lbs. i’ve never met this brother, but if he’s anything like my friend, he’s a damn good fencer with years of experience. stephanie turner is GOOD. per my friend, she probably would have won the bout she took a knee on. she really did not need to pull shit transphobic shit and i guarantee she knows it.

all this shit about fencing cis men really does not matter, to be clear. being a woman beating men doesn’t make stephanie a good fencer—it doesn’t even make her a notable fencer. every afab fencer who is good enough to beat other fencers beats amab fencers. the first fencer i beat as an afab person was a cis man who started the sport at the same time as me just bc we were at the same general level. because again, fencing is co-ed. i just am explaining all this to show how damn stupid dying on this hill is (and the fact she for sure knows how damn pointless and hateful it is)

because fencing is NOT a strength sport! being stronger or taller than your opponent, like how a cis man would stereotypically be vs a cis woman, isn’t necessarily an advantage—strength can absolutely fuck you up if you don’t know how to manage it, and if you know how to use it, being shorter than your opponents can actually be an advantage

if anything, fencing a stamina sport, which something you can very much train no matter your gender if you put in the work. more than anything to do with strength or speed, though, fencing is a strategy sport. there is really no reason to gender segregate it. a lot of tournaments do, but plenty tournaments DON’T, and most clubs you go to for practice and drills and learning fencing will be co-ed and have you constantly fencing against “opposite sex” fencers

(half related—one of the best foils on my fencing team is a trans woman who sometimes fences in the men’s brackets in tournaments and regularly beats cis men)

if stephanie turner is a good fencer—which she definitely is—she knows all of this. that fencing is more about stamina, that strength and height mean nothing, that the only thing that really matters is your strategy.

stephanie turner was literally just doing this to be an asshole. the fact she’s getting money for it is fucking disgusting. i hope she faces some damn consequences for this shit, because it’s such stupid, hateful bullshit, especially for a sport where that “biological advantage” shit really and truly does not matter

i do want to end this addition on a nice note tho, so i want to add: a few days after this story broke—this weekend, actually—i attended a two day tournament as a spectator. while it wasn’t everywhere, i definitely saw a lot of refs and staff wearing trans pride/support pins, as well as a few people in attendance wearing trans supportive shirts and accessories. all of the people ive spoken to in the fencing world about this—which is quite a lot—have thought it both appalling and monumentally stupid, and im hoping that will lead to consequences for stephanie turner and anyone else who tries to follow in her bullshit idiot footsteps

I don’t have anything to add, but this is more insight than I could ever have so I’m RBing for visiblity

(via nientedal)

podcastwizard:

podcastwizard:

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

this post was an absolute monkey’s paw you people would not beLieve the amount of gossip i have been inundated with the past month. i have been buried under a pile of gossip and while i still feel a sick joy from it i think maybe things should stop happening to people around me for just a little bit

(via greywolfheirs)

Do not punish the behaviour you want to see

jabbage:

ingridverse:

redcurlzbychoice:

olofahere:

I mean, it seems pretty obvious when you put it like that, right?

But how many families, when an introvert sibling or child makes an effort to socialize,  snarkily say, “So, you’ve decided to join us”?

Or when someone does something they’ve had trouble doing, say, “Why can’t you do that all the time?” (Happened to me, too often.)

Or any sentence containing the word “finally”. 

If someone makes a step, a small step, in a direction you want to encourage, encourage it. Don’t complain about how it’s not enough. Don’t bring up previous stuff. Encourage it.

Because I swear to fucking god there is nothing more soul-killing, more motivation-crushing, than struggling to succeed and finding out that success and failure are both punished.

Encouragement and acknowledgment are so much more effective than punishment.

image

One of the moments that I think about a lot when I think about how much I love my Dad, is that once when I was a teenager prone to spending long hours alone in my room I emerged to spend time with the family, he joked “Oh look, it’s the lodger!”

And before I’d even processed what he meant (that I was behaving more like a tenant than a family member), he went on some kind of internal flashback journey, and said “My father used to say that to me and I hated it, I don’t know why I said it to you,” and he apologised, and never made a joke like that again.

It’s like he did a speedrun on overcoming generational trauma.

(via nientedal)

takeabiteoutofthesilversandwich:

tiefsandthiefs:

tiktoks-repost:

Blonde person with yellow popsicle: can somebody tell me how the fuck you make friends after high school?

Brunette person with glasses: Show up somewhere regularly. The reason you make friends in high school is because you see the same people everyday. The reason you make friends at work is because you see the same people everyday. If you want to make friends as an adult, go to the same cafe every week, or go to a calligraphy class. If you don’t want to leave the house you can just go to the same twitch stream everyday that’s what I do, and I’ve made friends there. If you are a familiar face in a place where people share your interests, you’ll make friends.

This is 100% correct. Please follow this advice. Seek out something you find interesting and consistently interact with people who do as well.

(via unpretty)