The Hiraeth System

Being plural is so funny. Your parents are too mean to you when you're 9 and you perform mitosis about it

If I ask nicely will people reblog this and tell me what their most common breakfast is? Not your favorite necessarily, just what you have for breakfast most frequently? 🙏🏽

watching game changer 0107

So like. Not what you'd consider "cold" just in general, but rather specifically for where YOU live (for example: 6c/43f might be considered "cold" if you live in Florida). I see a lot of Tumblr users defending the cold on here, so I'm wondering what temperatures they're actually talking about. For me anyway "cold" automatically translates to be anything below freezing - but I'm not fully convinced that 90% of Tumblr is Actually yearning for below freezing temps.

(My ideal temperature range is around 10c-20c, but a bit below 10c can be nice and refreshing as well. Above 20c depends on what I'm doing - and anything above 25c is too much.)

— Carolyn Spring, on The Encouragement Of Severe Dissociative Identity Disorder

Diversity win! Vic Michaelis has stolen Sam’s wife

really incredible things happening on the set of game changer

one year later also wins as the ep where the game changed the most. from game show to musical episode to public shaming to literal textbook definition stalking and invasion of privacy to an intervention (kink themed) to unionizing against an unjust ruler. she has it all.

I put a camera in your house and forced you into kink therapy while I fondue outside. I love you.

I think what some people don't get when they're saying that you need to forgive in order to let go and move on is that.. for some of us... Not forgiving is what gives us peace and allows us to move on.

Not forgiving and admitting I didn't forgive him was like a breath of fresh air. I felt lighter. I felt able to move on. Trying to forgive because I was "supposed" to actually kept me stuck in it. Not forgiving was me saying that what he did was wrong, and I didn't deserve it. It was me realizing I wasn't at fault and to blame. Not forgiving was healing to me.

It's so valid if you forgive and it helped you, but others are equally as valid if they realize forgiveness wasn't for them.

I want to be clear that it's valid if forgiveness was what helped you heal. I don't think you're wrong. I just think it's wrong to assume that everyone has the same needs when healing. We're all different and what works for some doesn't necessarily work for everyone.

My ask box is already flooded with asks that basically sum up to "well, forgiveness helped me so..."

I feel like I made it pretty clear that I understand that. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

But to assume that every single person in the world has the exact same needs when healing is just kind of... wild to me? So many of these asks imply that people won't heal until they do this because the person sending the ask didn't.

It might feel ground breaking for you. It might feel like everything snapped into place when you forgave. And I am happy for you. Truly. But please, please, please stop assuming that everyone has the same needs as you and if they don't that they're somehow wrong.

Healing is nourishment for the soul. Forgiveness and non-forgiveness is the food. They may be apple and oranges to some people but either way you’re still getting vitamins and nutrients from them. It’s the healing that is important, not the specific process by which it’s achieved.

i hate being the bigger person why cant i say why are you being mean to me and burst into tears dramatically

Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.

But her family. Holy shit.

First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever

Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.

And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, and she’s getting engaged so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves two more, and those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper

And while one of ‘em’s young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.

And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK

And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”

So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE

And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for

And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker

And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”

And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”

And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah

Yeah, I think I kinda get it

— Reyna Biddy