Just my Garbage

what's boobies. heheh i'm a visual learner by the way *someone shows me their boobs* jesus christ what the fuck is that

if i had a dollar for every pixel in this image i’d have 15 cents

if i had a dollar for every ounce of rage i felt in my body after i read this comment i would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you

actually I did the math, they would have $225, not $0.15

sis i’m right here….

if i had a dollar i would buy a can of soda :)

while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

sorry i only have a dollar

:(

hey I just realized my friend Vriska is right, they would have $22500 not $225

^my friend Vriska

if i had $22,500 i would buy a can of soda and an apply juice

You can buy anything you want with $22500

yeah and they want soda and apply juice

apply juice to what

directly to the forehead

Great post guys

String identified: a a a t ag ’ a ct a a a c ag t at a t ct a g t a ca t at acta t at, t a $, t $. ’ gt …. a a a a ca a :) ’ t c a a c a? a a a :( t a a gt, t a $ t $ ^ a a $, a ca a a a a c ca atg at t $ a a t at a a a c a c t at ct t t a Gat t g

Closest match: Barbus barbus genome assembly, chromosome: 1 Common name: Common Barbel

(image source)

@fish-identifier

my bear-man in christ i have already identified it

We can’t be certain until @fish-identifier calls it

how the hell is hiding in my bathroom going to keep the driveway clear

since facebook nixed fact checking some really cool things are being shared and I am totally here for it

no like he actually said this

nothing sexier than that picture with the italian players on top of eachother after the win and the english ones going through the 5 stages of grief in the back

THIS ONE

i can see it

ITALIAN MANWHORE SUMMER

always reblog italian manwhore summer

just heard a coworker say "I know this thing wouldn't even work for Jesus" about her printer

heard three people say "amen" in response

oooh rare leap year post, adds to the resale value

goosebumps as a concept are so funny ur brain is like "oh no we're threatened! quick! make us look bigger!" and your skin, that absolutely does not have the ability to do that, is like "absolutely. right away boss"

THE SWIMMING PIC HAS ME SOBBING 😭😭

As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.

had a dream that there was this new tiktok trend called "scrubbing" where people would take images of fictional characters and put them in images of bathtubs and drag around transparent pngs of soap and brushes with their tiktok art tablets and like liquify tool their hair down to mimic giving them a shower. and people would get into flamewars in the comments of every single video over the types of soap they picked and if the images had decently removed backgrounds and if they got soap in their eyes. and it got onto the news because it turned out everyone doing the trend was doing it compulsively like they physically couldn't stop and each video was a solid few minutes long because they were just collectively obsessively recording themselves fake-showering these fictional characters and arguing about it online

for the record I have never used tiktok and like explicitly in the dream I learned about it secondhand from a discord server so there's that also which is funny I think

String identified: a a a tat t a t tt t ca "cg" ta ag cta caact a t t ag att a ag a taat g a a t t tt at tat a t t a t c gg t a . a gt t aa t ct g t t a t c a t ag a ct acg a t gt a t . a t gt t t ca t t t g t t a g t c t ca c't t a ac a a t g ca t t cct cg t a-g t cta caact a agg at t t c a tt a ct t a a at t ca a c t' tat a c t

Closest match: Mya arenaria isolate MELC-2E11 chromosome 1 Common name: Soft-Shell Clam

"Nobody pays attention to a guy in a high-viz vest" adage untrue in exactly one situation

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

What

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

THEY TAKE THEIR PISS TOO?!?!?

Yup, stockpiling it in giant buckets to pour on the poor

This is really funny on dark mode

On dark mode this is like a clown trying to hide behind a light pole.

i use dark mode and i STILL clicked it

you will NEVER be able to guess what this post from the official US government consumer product safety commission was in response to (under the cut)

tumblr is really funny because a bunch of the posts on here are the kind of funny that anyone would enjoy them. but then there's also a good fucking portion of posts on here that are so fucking bizarre that they're only really funny to the weird cockroach bitches whove been on tumblr nonstop for over a decade. and if you're tumblr-irradiated enough, you start to lose the ability to differentiate between those two types of posts.