reblog this if you're okay with booping spams please !!
I wish kinky sex ed wasn't so stigmatized even among left-leaning "sex positive" circles. Everyone's all "uwu I'm a sub I'll do anything you ask" okay mommy wants you to read The New Bottoming Book so you learn how to sub without hurting yourself since your sex ed up to this point is porn and your ex boyfriend Jared who liked to choke you incorrectly
I’m so glad you asked! Let me list off what I’ve got for you:
Books I personally recommend:
- The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
If you’re having kinky sex at all, you need to read at least one of these two books. Point blank. They’ll teach you the very basics of negotiating properly (which is critical!), and help you identify what you are and aren’t into.
- Mindfucking Mindfully, by Sir Ezra Where this book really shines isn’t actually in helping you “mindfuck” people, it’s in taking a close look at how to do so ethically. It’s a great answer to the question “how do I get someone to consent to something and still surprise and shock them with it?”
- Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny This is a slightly niche pick but there simply isn’t a better book on the subject. It’s written from a 24/7 M/s perspective, which is not what I do, but the book itself is an indispensable guide to giving and receiving service. The phrase “if the Master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service” will be burned into my psyche for quite some time. I love this book a lot. Maybe my favorite out of all of these.
- Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation, by Princess Kali This one’s high on my reading list; I’ve heard it recommended by a number of people whose opinions on these things I trust.
- Pretty Much Anything Midori Has Ever Done Midori is a great resource for this stuff - I haven’t personally read much of her work, but she’s a well known sex educator and great at what she does. She’s known for bondage, but has a lot of range beyond that.
- This Negotiations Worksheet from Bex Talks Sex This is what I default to using a lot of the time for negotiations. Forget BDSMtest, you don’t need that, it’s no good. Just look through this worksheet’s wordbank with your partner. Big fan especially of the “how do you want to feel?” section.
Books I can kind of recommend:
- The Ultimate Guide to Kink, edited by Tristan Taormino This book is weird. There’s a lot of good info for experienced players, but some of what’s written here skeeves me out. I think if I had a top that thought the way some of the tops in here think, they would not be topping me for long. But there’s some good techniques and so on to pick up that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I liked the distinction one of the authors makes between being sadistic in the sense of inflicting pain and being sadistic in the sense of doing something your sub doesn’t “enjoy.”
- The Ritual of Dominance and Submission, by David English Man, this book fucking sucks. The writing and editing are garbage, and the fear and protocol play described need way more careful negotiation than he ever lets on, let alone recommends. This is some 50 Shades bullshit. The only time I recommend this book is to tops like me who tend to be very affirming to their partners and need a guide on how to really scare them - when their partner consents and when you negotiate it, which this book sucks at teaching you. Really good content on fear, punishment, and protocol play, really terrible presentation of the topic though. Don’t read this if you don’t already know what you’re doing.
- Paradigms of Power, by Raven Kaldera I love this book. Great book. Very focused on 24/7 M/s play though, and, being an anthology, some chapters are better than others. If you can’t read something and pick out what is and isn’t for you, don’t bother. But some really great inspiration, and generally pretty well written. Big fan of the discussion of leather throughout the book.
Hope some of these are helpful for people ^-^ for the average person reading this I recommend New Bottoming/Topping, but they’re all important parts of my library and I’ve recommended all of them to friends at some point or another.
May I also suggest Hell on Wheels and Kneeling in Spirit by Raven Kaldera, d/s companion books that address kink with a disability. They're a should read for everyone, imo. You never know when you or a partner are going to have changes in your body that affect what you can physically do. Temporary illness/injury and even just age can affect your sex life.
I'd like to suggest Better Bondage for Every Body! It goes really in depth on anatomy, pain processing, self-tying, and has chapters specifically focusing on how to do rope bondage on/for someone who is disabled or has chronic pain, which was really important to me.
reblogging specifically for these last additions bc I don't think I've ever seen resources for kink w/ disability
I made a Room Building tutorial! Lemme know if it helps! 🧡
Something like this would be so colossally helpful. I'm sick and tired of trying to research specific clothing from any given culture and being met with either racist stereotypical costumes worn by yt people or ai generated garbage nonsense, and trying to be hyper specific with searches yields fuck all. Like I generally just cannot trust the legitimacy of most search results at this point. It's extremely frustrating. If there are good resources for this then they're buried deep under all the other bullshit, and idk where to start looking.
>:)c
May I present to you, nationalclothing.org?
It doesn't have everything, but it's still my first source when researching traditional clothing from other cultures.
There's also this resource on historical fashion: Claire’s Historical Fashion Reference & Resources
another addition as far as physical media goes there is the encyclopedia of national dress (that i still need to buy myself bc this kind of thing is super important to my sort of fantasy designing) but yes i do agree i wish there was EVEN MORE documentation on this
THIS. This IS Dick Grayson! And I can completely see him having a page and posting these videos and in the end is one with Bruce, who just looks so tired, the looking at the camera meme
“Dick, can you please just walk normally for once?”
Dick: “No.”
i looked this guy up and he is a circus acrobat and oldest of like 7 lol
extremely Big Dick Grayson energy
yee
ART BOOKS WANTED
Hi everyone.
I adore buying art-books and illustrations from small business both fandom and original designs but sometimes its kinda hard to find them so please help me out by tagging artist's you like or if you are one tag your store so I can check it out. I also adore pins and have a rather extensive collection so far.
So if you are an artist who has art books, Washi tape or enamel pins please tag your store. I plan on buying from 2-4 different places each month so please tag them.
I have an absolutely silly question: Are you going to sell your Hanhaki Erasermic as a Zine or something once you're done? Just asking so I can save up if you do.
👀 That is the idea, yes. It has been the plan since the start 💜
killer story and art style. So excited for it to be on sale eventually.
this is another awesome kickstarter I found and it’s so close to being funded. It features two adorable Greek themed pins. One is Medusa and the other is Persephone so please help them out. Just use the link below.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/330388878/medusa-and-persephone-enamel-pins?ref=discovery&term=Medusa
I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?
HI darling,
I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:
Home
- what the hell is a mortgage?
- first apartment essentials checklist
- how to care for cacti and succulents
- the care and keeping of plants
- Getting an apartment
Money
- earn rewards by taking polls
- how to coupon
- what to do when you can’t pay your bills
- see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
- how to save money
- How to Balance a Check Book
- How to do Your Own Taxes
Health
- how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
- things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
- how to get free therapy
- what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
- how to make a doctor’s appointment
- how to pick a health insurance plan
- how to avoid a hangover
- a list of stress relievers
- how to remove a splinter
Emergency
- what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
- a list of hotlines in a crisis
- things to keep in your car in case of an emergency
- how to do the heimlich maneuver
Job
- time management
- create a resume
- find the right career
- how to pick a major
- how to avoid a hangover
- how to interview for a job
- how to stop procrastinating
- How to write cover letters
Travel
- ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
- Traveling for Cheap
- Travel Accessories
- The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
- How To Read A Map
- How to Apply For A Passport
- How to Make A Travel Budget
Better You
- read the news
- leave your childhood traumas behind
- how to quit smoking
- how to knit
- how to stop biting your nails
- how to stop procrastinating
- how to stop skipping breakfast
- how to stop micromanaging
- how to stop avoiding asking for help
- how to stop swearing constantly
- how to stop being a pushover
- learn another language
- how to improve your self-esteem
- how to sew
- learn how to embroider
- how to love yourself
- 100 tips for life
Apartments/Houses/Moving
- Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)
- Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
- Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
- Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)
- How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)
Education
- How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)
- How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)
- What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)
- Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)
- How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)
- How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)
Finances
- How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)
- How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)
- Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)
- What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)
- Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)
- Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)
- How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting
- How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)
- How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)
- How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)
- 10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)
Life Skills
- Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)
- Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)
- What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)
- Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)
- How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)
- How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)
- How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)
Miscellaneous
- What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)
Relationships
- Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)
- How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple and catastrofries)
Travel & Vehicles
- How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)
- How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)
Other Blog Features
Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later
- Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)
- Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)
- Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)
- Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)
- Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)
- Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)
- Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)
- Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)
- Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)
- Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)
- Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)
- Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)
- Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)
Adult Cheat Sheet:
- what to do if your pet gets lost
- removing stains from your carpet
- how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps
- throwing a dinner party
- i’m pregnant, now what?
- first aid tools to keep in your house
- how to keep a clean kitchen
- learning how to become independent from your parents
- job interview tips
- opening your first bank account
- what to do if you lose your wallet
- tips for cheap furniture
- easy ways to cut your spending
- selecting the right tires for your car
- taking out your first loan
- picking out the right credit card
- how to get out of parking tickets
- how to fix a leaky faucet
- get all of your news in one place
- getting rid of mice & rats in your house
- when to go to the e.r.
- buying your first home
- how to buy your first stocks
- guide to brewing coffee
- first apartment essentials checklist
- coping with a job you hate
- 30 books to read before you’re 30
- what’s the deal with retirement?
- difference between insurances
Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:
Reasons to move out of home
You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:
- wishing to live independently
- location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university
- conflict with your parents
- being asked to leave by your parents.
Issues to consider when moving out of home
It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:
- Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.
- Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.
- Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.
Your parents may be worried
Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:
- They may worry that you are not ready.
- They may be sad because they will miss you.
- They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.
- They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.
Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.
Tips for a successful move
Tips include:
- Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?
- Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
- Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.
- Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.
- Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.
- Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.
If your family home does not provide support
Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.
If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.
If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.
Where to get help
- Your doctor
- Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800
- Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44
- Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325
- Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277
- Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50
- Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577
Things to remember
- Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.
- Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
- Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations.
Keep me updated? xx
Reblogging for myself
Reblog if you had a Tumblr for 5+ years
Nothing is cuter than Eraser and Mic cuddling together in casual clothes so I thought why not add Erasers scarf and make them chibi. And then the chibi Erasermic sticker was made. If you like it check it out on my Etsy store. https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1161207008/erasermic-scarf-cuddles-individual?click_key=8a5ab3a15003586187076f4f211fdabc1fec6183%3A1161207008&click_sum=7b045e9b&ref=shop_home_active_2&crt=1
What fandoms to add?
I plan on doing a fandom themed huevember and will have the full set turned into a book in my store but for now I need more fandom ideas as I've ran out of idea. So far the fandoms I have included are as follows:
-My hero academia
-Assassination classroom
-Batman
-Voltron
-Steven Universe
-Danny Phantom
-Kim Possible
-Miraculous Ladybug
-Marvel
-Sk8
-FairyTail
-Young Justice
I still need ideas for shades of orange illustrations, a pink, two purples and two greens. Any help would be appreciated