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triptih

@ilovebadart

I seek beauty
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i've started reading tvl and no amount of posts telling me there's a "huge tonal shift" could have prepared me for this HUGE TONAL SHIFT this is the funniest fucking thing i've ever read it genuinely goes like:

louis, narrator of iwtv: as i wandered the streets of paris, i wished most of all for death. i had called to god, to satan, anyone, to find meaning in it all. but for an evil creature such as myself there is no place in this world. there can be no love where this evil lies. it was as though a veil separated me from all that could be good and righteous. i did not deserve to love and be loved in return, not by claudia, lestat, armand. to attempt it would be a sisyphean task, a fools tale. and yet...... the need for hole from armand was so great. greater was only the need for........ living human blood.

lestat, narrator of tvl: hey guys, my name is lestat, you may know me because i'm really hot and sexy. english isn't my first language so sorry if i make any mistakes!! okay here's my story: after rotting beneath the earth for decades, my hot and sexy body has finally risen from the ground. i used to be depressed, but now i'm slutting it up again in the 20th century! first thing i did was get some (hot and sexy) new clothes and then wore them while riding my (hot and sexy) motorcycle and listening to bach on my sony walkman. while i was watching this super niche indie film (you've probably not heard of it) "apocalypse now" i realized that i'm so evil that i shouldn't exist. but then i realized what could make me deserve to live on this planet: rock n roll music.

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daniel molloy character of all time once again: like imagine you’re a 20-something drug addict and a terrible journalist on account of being 20-something and a drug addict and you randomly meet a vampire at a gay bar and you think wow I might get drugs, gay sex and a story out of this and instead what you get is psychologically and physically tortured by his husband and your memories of it all erased and then 50 years later you’re DYING and those vampires show up in your life again to ask you to write the story of their happy marriage and your memory might be fucked but ON GOD you WILL ruin that marriage if it’s the last thing you do. and then not only do you succeed and walk out of it alive, but also with a bestseller, millions in your bank account AND immortality AND the knowledge that your annoying human ass was somehow the one thing that made that 500+ year old predator so mad that he broke his lifetime vow to never turn anyone. AND, on top of that, you’re out of the CLOSET.

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funniest things in interview with the vampire:

  • the fact that we got reverse-queerbaited and there was levitating gay vampire sex in episode 1 and then never again :(
  • "he ain't white he french!"
  • lestat showing up to louis' family dinner in the gayest outfit he could wear in 1910, pretending to eat, and hypnotizing paul when he really was trying to make a good impression
  • florence du lac clocking louis as gay because of his acrylic nails and tinted glasses
  • "what's wrong with that man?" @ lestat
  • louis with the "no whites allowed" sign despite lestat being inside the building
  • "i'm not sure how i feel about that pleated skirt" "it's chiffon it has movement"
  • grace calling lestat louis' white daddy
  • louis, lestat, and claudia treating nosferatu like a comedy
  • louis telling the police they should be ashamed of how they treated "law-abiding, taxpaying citizens" and forgetting that it's illegal to be gay
  • "we sell...incinerators. to various american cities." "we bring our clients here to demonstrate the product"
  • louis throwing lestat's coffin out the window
  • tom anderson not seeing louis and lestat for 17 years but for some reason he has a picture with them in his desk drawer
  • the fact that rashid was not just a character armand made up but a real employee of theres who was mysteriously absent for a week while seemingly consensually being played by his boss
  • armand and louis walking up to daniel holding hands like two people who have never held hands before in their life
  • armand had a threesome with a father and son while watching now, voyager, something louis didn't even know about
  • armand telling daniel his own armandstat fanfiction, stopping at the scene where they fucked in the theatre box, and daniel wanting more
  • "are you schizophrenic louis?" "...no"
  • the insinuation that the real irish playwright samuel barclay beckett was a vampire. not only that, but that his most well-known work, "waiting for godot," was originally written for the theatre des vampires. not only that, but that he is now an unspecified DJ
  • french man yelling at louis and armand that they should blow each other when they're kissing in the public park
  • daniel molloy being so unbelievably gay in the 1970s and being immediately into fucking louis in the coffin
  • daniel molloy having his body comandeered by armand and still offering to suck his dick
  • daniel molloy trying to escape from armand and immediately running into the wall
  • armand walking back into the dubai penthouse being the silliest he's ever been, nourished, happy only to find out that his husband and weird gay boy situationship have unionized
  • armand gaslighting his way out of the situation he gaslit himself into by telling louis he asked him to erase his memories
  • armand animating the raccoon into the projections during the trial
  • santiago small dick reveal
  • lestat still wearing a 150 year old leyendecker robe and playing a wooden piano, but somehow having the money for an ipad, speakers, and wifi
  • "siri pause"
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th1nneristhewinner

When I’m about to eat but I remember that they exist

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