Medium Sized Yikes

hetstiel:

youtube comments are like “i’m a 34 year old male professional bullrider and part time EMT who’s never taken anything up the butt, not even a pinky finger from a hot chick lol…. but something about this song gets me right in the feels!” and the song is like Move Along - All American Rejects

Posted 9 minutes ago With 5,953 notes

catchymemes:

Posted 1 hour ago With 74,603 notes

amygdalae:

amygdalae:

My dad is such a dungeon meshihead now it’s epic

He sent me a picture of the bread he made and said “I call it Steve’s Underwhelming Loaf” and then followed that up by sending me this

Posted 2 hours ago With 52,715 notes

mollybeenoel:

Tiny friends

Photographed by Miles Herbert

Posted 3 hours ago With 45,678 notes

victusinveritas:

Posted 4 hours ago With 24,955 notes

podcastwizard:

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

Posted 5 hours ago With 72,603 notes

pauljpeg:

pauljpeg:

Spaghetti bolognese with no parmesan is like getting head without your balls played with

Using a different simile would be like getting head without your balls played with

Posted 6 hours ago With 30,185 notes

naomistares:

ianthe’s little cannibalism moment except it’s not little, it’s 15 pages long, enjoy!

(this took a total of 115 hours, waw, i am still sick as all hell, so feel free to leave me all ur thoughts in great details, i will read them.)

Posted 7 hours ago With 18,138 notes

beatrice-otter:

bestiarum:

bestiarum:

everyone’s talking about how unhinged fans are nowadays about their blorbos. well let me tell you that when the polish writer henryk sienkiewicz first published his novel ‘with fire and sword’ in parts between 1883 and 1884, and killed off the beloved character longinus podbipięta, people nationwide were so upset they’d go to church and ask for requiem masses to be held in his memory. match THAT freak

yes i know about the arthur conan doyle sherlock frenzy this isn’t about that at all stop english cultural imperialism #slavicpride

#also theres a difference between harassing the author and wanting a mass to ask LITERAL GOD for salvation for the character’s soul.

Posted 8 hours ago With 60,044 notes

rabid-zebra:

Posted 10 hours ago With 16,868 notes

ottisbuns:

ottisbuns:

Did you know

If you perform action Harmlessly Bother Cat you can receive Sounds

If you perform action Ignore Cat you can also receive Sounds, with a percentage chance that they will be Noises instead

Posted 11 hours ago With 77,185 notes

transmechanicus:

sillayangel:

how did senshi say this with his mouth

We just fed her a [telepathically projects the image of a delicious meal into your head], so she’s not going to be hungry at the moment.

Posted 12 hours ago With 38,051 notes

theshitpostcalligrapher:

lakevida:

lakevida:

remembering that octopus brains are donut shaped cause their esophagus goes thru the middle of their head and sometimes they die from brain damage from meal too big, and saying a long prayer before bed every night that if something like that happens to me i will be able to handle it gracefully

now i lay me down to sleep

i pray the lord my soul to keep

and hope my brain does not explode

from lunch or dinner overload

but if i die from eating good

i know the haters wish they could

and every day i thank my god

i was not born a cephalopod

and as we all know most prayer is silent so while there are no further words it continues for twelve minutes or so

oh excellent I needed a warmup exercise, thank you!

Posted 13 hours ago With 28,513 notes