Sometimes I write posts about things. Mostly I reblog things that make me smile, or are pretty, or that are important. I’m trying to find a balance of caring about the world/being active in working to make it better while still letting myself rest and enjoy my life.
i….found a rare shoegaze tape. legit. band does not exist online. tape is at least 20 years old. This is so Sam
rare tape.
ok ok….track for you from rare tape. ripped by me
EverywhereClayflowerStill
I HAVE SOURCED MORE INFO!!!! from my friend who works at an nz audio archive and they HAVE THE TAPE THERE? COVER:
Final info ive put together after i have just looked over the insert notes (inside the other tape) sent to me by my friend:
This band had Steven Wells and Andrew Bain in it - they went on to be in a pretty popular NZ rock band called Fur Patrol from late 90s-2000s, so this is a precursor to that. in the notes they also thank Campbell Kneale, a prolific underground nz musician in bands like Birchville Cat Motel and Black Boned Angel. they also thank “Drinkwater”.
alright everyone. after 33k+ notes on an obscure 90s indie song from Aotearoa i gotta admit many want to hear the rest, & as i cant think of a better format to supply this, here’s the rest of the tape in this post. please let it stay here where it needs to be, don’t spread it like its yours. its not mine either! i now present to you: Clayflower - Still(1993, Aotearoa, Cassette, Shoegaze/Indie Rock)
TimeClayflowerStillScarletClayflowerStillWelcomeClayflowerStillEverywhereClayflowerStillDirgeClayflowerStillI Am Not AloneClayflowerStill
beautiful and cool obscure music like this is everywhere if you just wanna look for it even for a few minutes. dont let yourself think someone has to come along and show it to you <3
Me: I don’t get it. I thought I was doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I’m like 10 times more on top of things than I used to be. How does everything feel terrible now?
The Tiny Me in OSHA-approved Hi-Vis Gear Who lives in my brain and pulls all the levers: Boss, it’s the fascism. You’re completely gunked up with cortisol due to the fact that your entire daily life is now underscored with a haunting awareness of the rapid erosion of your rights, dignity, and any and all social safety nets, and you’re also bearing witness to the most vulnerable people immediately being persecuted. This creates a natural stress response that basically means you’re going to continue having memory and organizational problems, as well as emotional imbalances.
Me: BUT I HAVE A BULLET JOURNAL AND I MEDITATE NOW.
not to be all i told you so about ancestry tests but 23 and me went bankrupt and can now legally sell human genetic information to the highest bidder, as per their privacy policy which was signed by approx. 15 million test takers
im still mind blown that people really readily submitted their dna so they could be classed by ethnicity on paper permanently. like yeah theres no way this could go badly huh
This is like one of those art house horror movies with symbolism I don’t understand except I understand what this is trying to convey perfectly holy crap
Same energy
nominee for best tiktok of 2020 holy shit i got chills
This was originally about the inital phase of the pandemic and lockdowns but honestly? This is the exact mood I’m feeling right now watching the US descend into fascism
I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:
—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.
—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.
—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money
—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them
—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa
—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them
—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in
Also drink water and eat a plant
This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:
keep on not working for startups
sometimes there comes a point where the thing (fandom, hobby, friendship, romantic relationship) you loved no longer brings you joy. And that’s okay. Try to mourn the loss, take joy in the memories, and don’t burn any bridges in case ten years go by and you find yourself back in that fandom/hobby/relationship again
it turns out that (ugh) moderate regular exercise is (spit) good for you. The sooner you make it part of your life, the easier it’ll be
related: if you throw yourself into a new exercise regime too hard and too fast, without stopping to rest or consider whether a particular move is good for you … well, shoulder injuries are painful and consults with orthopedic surgeons are expensive
knees are bastards too
don’t even get me started on ankles
there may come a time when your digestive system is too fragile for ibuprofin. I’m sorry
one day you’re gonna wake up and realise you no longer give any fucks about some things that used to bother you
on the other hand, you might be alarmed to realise what you still give a fuck about
never get down on the floor without an exit strategy for getting back up
I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:
“loving yourself” is less of a feeling and more of an action. you can start doing it any time and it will make your life better and better as you go on
this will happen incrementally - be patient
along those lines, if you haven’t started making an active effort to quit shit-talking yourself, suck it up and do it
no, shut up. do it. “but it’s haaaaard!” don’t care. do it.
whether you like it or not, you are mortal and you need to go to the doctor for an annual checkup
stretch regularly - your future self will thank you
at some point you will encounter people much younger than you arguing passionately and incorrectly about history you personally remember and experienced
this will be infuriating and annoying
otoh, most other things just… will not matter to you as much
at some point you will shift from wanting to go out to being like “eh” and deciding to stay in. this is okay.
you will have absolutely no idea what The Youth are talking about and you will not care
but if you keep your mind open to new ideas you’ll never be irrelevant
your company still doesn’t love you - don’t give them more than they pay you for
get a fucking hobby, especially a hobby that involves physically creating/handling something and/or moving your body in physical space. it will do you more good than you can imagine
Just turned 60 and let me say:
Find joy, every kind, it’s always worth it
I’m talking that massive, never-ending Discord chat with your bestie? The one that makes you giggle through the day? It’s not a “waste of time,” it’s what time was made for
If that’s fanfic for your favorite characters who never even met on screen celebrate that!
If that’s building a tiny fleet of snake villagers for your snake town and they just cover your mantel hell yes!
If that’s collecting pillows and making a fort of them every weekend I’ll be right over
Feeling and sharing joy is the whole point
This is too tempting…, so, I’m 74, and: don’t fund startups
Please keep stretching and exercise enough NOT to need an elaborate strategy to get up from the floor. IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE
Say bye to your employer as early as you possibly can, unless you really love your job. You won’t be sorry.
Keep doing the annual checkups 🙏🏼
Enjoy that fucking hobby you’ve acquired in your 50, or find something new. Do try new things & adventures.
Not an invitation to cocoon yourself in a self-care bubble for four years, but a reminder to the 24/7 worriers that you can literally write “To Do on Monday: Worry about ________” on a post-it note and stop worrying about it for one day while you recharge.
Another point: Both your mental health and your ability to resist will be improved by finding a community. A sorrow shared is a sorrow halved. And apes together strong.
driving all night and into the morning with your head lolling in the passenger seat. i don’t want to romanticize cars because henry ford is evil; but i am in love with you and therefore everything feels romantic, even gas stations. i tell you i don’t like the car-obsessed infrastructure of america; the same old rant about public transportation and energy costs and how racism and bigotry work together to hasten the End Times. you nod along and make sure i eat.
the sun putting down gentle feelers onto the winter sticks of massachusetts. feeling your hand in mine while we listen to a new album, ranking each song quietly. your jaw limned with the red-green passage of streetlamps. your hands around the large order of french fries we split between us. without comment, you pass me the biggest one. somewhere in maine, we stop randomly for a walk and are overwhelmed by the beauty. i’ll never be able to find that place again, and it’s okay. everything with you feels new to me.
spring is coming and the car is a stick shift and needs oil often and makes a concerning clicking if i turn left. we sit and watch the ocean come in, eating takeout quietly while the wind whips up and over the rocks. facing forward and feeling-rather-than-seeing you listen; i tell you things that are real and important and are hardly-ever spoken. the engine ticks as it cools and our voices get quiet. the hour gets small and i’ll be sleepy on the drive home but as long as i don’t have to leave yet, i can stay for the moment. let the moment linger on.
in the backseat my dog lets out a little sigh while he stretches. the gps says 354 miles until we hit home again.
a car is not a pure thing, no charming aesthetic. and then you tilt back your head and howl along to julien baker. and i think - oh god, oh god, i’m so in love that even the drive is romantic.
“The Jewish response to trauma is counter-intuitive and extraordinary. You defeat fear by joy. You conquer terror by collective celebration. You prepare a festive meal, invite guests, give gifts to friends. While the story is being told, you make an unruly noise as if not only to blot out the memory of Amalek, but to make a joke out of the whole episode. You wear masks. You drink a little too much. You make a Purim spiel.” Precisely because the threat was so serious, you refuse to be serious – and in that refusal you are doing something very serious indeed. You are denying your enemies a victory. You are declaring that you will not be intimidated. As the date of the scheduled destruction approaches, you surround yourself with the single most effective antidote to fear: joy in life itself. As the three-sentence summary of Jewish history puts it: “They tried to destroy us. We survived. Let’s eat.” Humour is the Jewish way of defeating hate. What you can laugh at, you cannot be held captive by.
Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks zt"l, “The Therapeutic Joy of Purim,” article published 1 March 2015
Okay, I was not expecting this at all and I have to admit, I have not listened to any music from Chappell Roan before, my fault and that is going to change…but this is hauntingly beautiful and it’s beautiful to see so many people come together to do something for not only themselves, but for this video too.
This needs to be shared everywhere really, it really is beautiful.
I know this song well but hadn’t listened to it in a few months, and this version just made me cry and made me think about various queer regrets and frustrations I had during the era I grew up in. It means so much to see people come together to sing this.
Spending bills typically come with specific funding directives for key programs, but hundreds of those directives fall away under the legislation. So the administration will have more leeway to reshape priorities.
For example, a Democratic memo said the bill would allow the administration to steer money away from combating fentanyl and instead use it on mass deportation initiatives.
If you live in the US please call your Senators ASAP and demand that they vote NO on the Continuing Resolution and NO on Cloture until they get reassurance that Congress maintains their constitutionally granted power of the purse (Article 1 Section 8) which serves as one of the most crucial checks and balances in the US government.
Regardless of what party your Senators belong to, the bill as it stands opens the door to strip Congress of its Constitutional authority which should not be treated as a partisan issue.
Government Switchboard, for those who don’t know their Senators: 202-224-3121
More than likely you’ll get a voicemail, so write or follow a script if it helps. Please encourage others in your life to call as well - every call matters!
