I was but a boy of seven when I was purchased. For three sovereigns, I’m told. Which is a good price considering I was all ribs and bone and didn’t know the pommel of a dagger to the pointy end. The crows buy all their assassin’s that way. Buy them young, raise them to know nothing else but murder. And if you do poorly in your training, you die.
It really is crazy how if you mention you write fanfiction with people outside fandom, they’re always like “you should change the names and try to sell it.” It misses the point (fun), but more importantly to me, I get slightly (and I know irrationally) insulted on a craft level. Excuse me, my fanfic is entwined with the canon, thank you very much. I wish sometimes less entwined. You wouldn’t believe the stupid bullshit some of my fics have to include because of canon.
Any advice for people who have lots of Thoughts™️ about fictional characters but who have not, in the past, enjoyed the act of writing? I was always bad at it in school, which didn't help, and I know ~"you should write it even if it's bad"~ however I am still a recovering perfectionist and this is easier said than done (hence the not enjoying it). Add on top of that that writing fiction is very different from writing a 5 paragraph persuasive essay or whatever else they taught in school, so the little I do know doesn't feel applicable. (I'd just draw fanart instead, but my abilities do not lie there either lol). But I desperately want a way to actually engage in fandoms instead of just lurking in the shadows, and you seem to be quite knowledgeable about writing
Okay so first of all I am SO EXCITED for you because you get to start a new creative pursuit and it’s one that comes with a huge community of like-minded people. One of my absolute favourite things in fandom is getting to see people posting their first fic. Truly a magical experience. I am always so so proud of them.
Second, have a quote from Jodi Picoult which is a favourite amongst my beloved writing group:
You can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page.
The trick with writing is that in order to do it, you have to do it. In this way it is similar to the majority of human endeavour.
If you genuinely hate the process then my sincere advice is to not do this. You’ve only got, like, 100 years at the outside on this little rock. Better not to spend any of them doing things you do not enjoy in your leisure time, if at all possible. Make playlists or reclists, start conversations, take up podficcing, take up fic binding, write meta about your character thoughts, do something congenial to you (and some part of fandom must be congenial to you or you wouldn’t like. Be here.)
However. If you do want to write, and you think you could learn to love the process, or at least want to try, here are some inroads you could take a crack at:
Outline your idea rather than trying to write it as a polished narrative and post that. I do this a lot. Sometimes I then go back and actually write the fic, sometimes someone else writes the fic for me, which is delightful. (This looks like “So I’m thinking about a fic in which Aloysius inherits a haunted mansion…” etc.)
Use an established format. The only one of these still remotely in fashion is 5 + 1 fics, I think (back in my day we wrote songfics and listfics and Very Secret Diaries riffs but I think if you do that last one now Cassandra Clare steals your lunch maybe idk). This I also do all the time, as a way to break the seal on a new fandom. The format is such that you’re practically just filling in the blanks. You could do something like this in as little as six sentences.
Try epistolary format (letters/texts/emails/post-it notes/notes scribbled in the margins of a notebook/whatever). This cuts all the tricky bits of prose narrative and allows you to focus on the events of a story using a form of writing you are undoubtedly already comfortable with.
Try a retelling. This is what the pros do when they’re stuck & it’s just fanfic layered with fanfic, really. Crack open a copy of your favourite fairy tale and just rewrite it. Sentence for sentence if you like, with nothing more than names and details changed. Pick a single scene from something you like and rewrite it for The Characters.
There are probably a million more ways to approach this, but the overall point is to get you to start. You simply cannot do a thing without doing the thing. Once you’ve started, then you can worry about improvement. Or not. You are not obliged to be ‘good’ at writing in order to do it. Many professional career writers are fucking awful.
A bonus few things I wish I could personally carve into the inside of every new writer’s skull:
You are allowed to write more than one story in your life, the first one does not have to say Everything You’ve Ever Wanted To Say or contain Every Single Idea You’ve Had. It’s probably better if it doesn’t, even!
It is orders of magnitude better to finish a very short story that has a complete arc than to get 10% in to an epic and then stop because you don’t know how to continue it. If all your writing practice involves writing openings and then stopping, you are teaching yourself to write openings and then stop. Better to write 100 words and have it be a complete story than 10,000 words of introduction.
There’s no such thing as 'good’ or 'bad’ art and you should be suspicious of anyone who tells you there is. The measure of success in art is that it’s what you meant it to be.
You cannot possibly please everyone. The person you should focus on pleasing is yourself, because you are the only person obliged to interact with your work. Might as well be fun for you.
Talent isn’t real. Anyone who appears to be 'talented’ has put a lot of hours of work into doing the thing they’re doing.
If you take no other advice from this list, take this piece: read more. Read widely. Read old books, read new books. Read people’s dropped grocery lists. Read amateurs, read professionals, read poetry and lyrics and the backs of shampoo bottles. The more words you absorb, the more you have to draw from when you sit down to write.
All that said: please imagine me rolling out the welcome mat and blowing a party whistle while eagerly beckoning you to come in and join the wider writing community.
as in you’ll never achieve the perfect daily routine, sleep schedule, coping mechanisms, mannerisms, fashion sense etc. even after years and years of healing and improvement and self-discovery. you will never be so good at life that you manage to utilize every waking moment. its great to be productive and all but sometimes you’ll suck ass. sometimes you’ll take eight hours to be done with a twenty minute job. you’ll prioritize the wrong thing. you’ll sleep for 12 hrs just to avoid being awake. you’ll relapse. and you’ll relapse again. you’ll forget to turn in the assignment. you’ll order too little food. life is far too large and complex for you to even experience it completely, much less try to make sense of and control it. you can’t. please give up on that and be at peace with the hours you lose. they are not separate from your life.
Pervy elf-fancier, proud purveyor of dwarf porn and all around rabid fangirl (Bioware, MFMM, and many more). I love to talk and will do my best to listen.
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