tzedek, chesed, chutzpah — When I still had an active security clearance, I...

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
vaspider
lew-basnight

I can’t get into it without outing myself and my job, but damn I wish people could figure out how to break the rules on their own. If you involve me, if you tell me you’re going to violate a contract, I am required to do something. I’m not a cop! I’m not a narc! You could simply not tell me this shit! I am begging you to not tell me! Don’t send me an email to my work address that says “I’m going to violate our contract, how would you suggest I do it?” Well first things first don’t fucking tell me

lew-basnight

Like one time I was working at the bar years before weed was legal. The owner hated pot and pot smokers. And this regular was standing in front of the front door smoking his little glass pipe

“Hey man, go around the corner”

“Naw it’s cool”

“It’s really not. (The owner) will ban you if he sees you doing this in front of his bar like an idiot”

“He won’t see me”

“Yeah but I see you. And I’m asking you to go around the corner so you’re not right in front of the fucking bar”

“It’s just weed. Are you scared of weed?”

“Listen you stupid hippie I use drugs that would blow your burnout mind. I don’t give a shit about weed. But do not fucking involve me, do not involve the bar. Just take seven steps to the corner and smoke your heart out”

“Naw man it’s cool”

Then the owner came outside and blew his fucking stack and the guy was barred for life. And then the owner got mad at me for not running to him and telling him hippie Dave was burning it down in front of the bar. I’m just begging you to not involve me in your poorly thought-out crimes in a way that will get us both in serious trouble. I am begging you

lew-basnight

Bringing this back in a general way to remind people who might be considering breaking rules that maybe not telling strangers you are about to break some rules might be wise. Because you do not know where that information is going to end up

hachama

When I still had an active security clearance, I had to beg people to please not tell me when they did illegal shit. Do not make me, with my unreasonably good memory, have to choose between you and my livelihood if someone asks me about crimes. Do Not put me in that position when I am telling you I am subject to polygraphs and I’m supposed to be a mandatory reporter. Don’t do that to me. Don’t do that to anyone who hasn’t volunteered to be part of your crimes. Not everyone is going to agree with your principled stand, and even if we do some of us are all that stands between our loved ones and homelessness.