Pinned
It's so funny to me how after Melanie's first statement Jon says "We did contact Ms Georgina Barker" with so much professional detachment as if she isn't literally his ex girlfriend
Same energy
[ID: Two tweets by @MayaIsFiya. They read: "never dating an academic again cause i am sitting here shaking and crying while citing my ex's research.
(through gritted teeth) he collected some meaningful and relevant data." End ID]
me walking into the grocery store to buy everything bagels
Hohoho! I like this post! If I made it i would have written ginger ale instead of everything bagels but that’s fine that you wanted to make a post about bagels instead of ginger ale this time around I get it
me going back to the grocery store because i forgot ginger ale
Hohoho! What a great post friend! I love the part about ginger ale!!!
worst college experience actually was people seeingme use tumblr and say 'haha oh i used to use tumblr we could follow eachother' and i open their blog and its like 700 artic monkeys band gif grunge images pastel moodboards and im sitting here hands folded like you are about to learn our uses of this site are wildly different and i just posted a photo of a buff man in a g string
i wouldnt lie online
2016-2021 Toyota Land Cruiser
one thing about americans is that they know how to make a fucking milkshake
i hate the stupid milk consistency shit you get here like if you give me a milkshake it better be rock fucking solid. i want that thang thick like concrete. it should piss me off trying to drink it through a straw. i should have to wait for it to thaw
Americans are so good at making Beverage. One of our Foundational Moments was actually a party involving Making Beverage. Google "Boston Tea Party" for more
Today's children don't know what it was like when half of your photographs would turn out with demonically glowing red eyes.
i love the phrase "which could mean nothing" i think its my favorite thing to come out of the internet ever i love saying it. it could mean nothing but we all know better. we know the truth.
pizzing me off...
Pizzing me off, of Course...
Fuck, it's genius... why didn't I think of That...
i hope im not just a mutual to you but also a really annoying stranger who is somehow always going through something
*sees a mutual in my dash* i love you 🥺🫶 *sees a different mutual in my dash* i love you 🥺🫶 *sees yet another mutual in my dash* i love you 🥺🫶
Traditional inking is so fucked if you draw a line it's just there forever now and there's nothing your miserable little ass can do about it
i like it. my inks are evil and i love them for it. you just gotta accept the evil
this is so much truer and realer than anyone telling me to use whiteout/gel pens/paint to fix it youre right. the ink is evil and that's a good thing.
The first warm breeze of spring is the best feeling in the world
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My favourite harmless prank I've heard of was done by this girl whose dad was a geologist, and they'd go on day hikes with his geologist friends/co-workers and when she got bored on them she'd habitually pick up a random rock and go ask him what it is, and one of them would explain what kind of a rock that is, how it probably got here, and usually some notions of the more unusual features the rock had, if any.
And she had a friend who had once gone on a tourist trip to Iceland and brought back a volcanic rock. So she borrowed the rock and took it with her on the hike, and after two randomly picked up "hey dad what rock is this", she presented the volcanic rock, in the same fashion as all the others.
3 minutes later there are five middle-aged and older men circled around this mysterious rock, all agreeing on what it is, but not why it is. They keep asking her questions, where did she find it? Were there any other rocks around there that looked like it? Was it like this on the ground? People walking past the group try to stretch their necks to see over the geologists' shoulders to see what's the source of such amazement.
And in the end she couldn't take it anymore, burst into laughter and confessed. The geologists agree that it was pretty clever.
Geologist enrichment
it makes the egg more handsome and alluring
Add a grim expression and a cigar and that egg would be well on its way to being a noir detective.
Then you’ll have to wait for the egg to crack
The only thing that egg is cracking is cases
Art by BlueSky user Adi Fitri
Tornado
I want every non-Midwesterner to know that we are drilled in tornado safety from a young age and know exactly what we should do to keep ourselves safe. And yet we do exactly as pictured in the bottom image every time a tornado comes around.
