Ameowzing Content

?????? rich people are losing it

to be clear, yes i would also do some of this if i had the money. im experiencing blinding envy over the dr pepper mirror dimension.

An archivist found a long forgotten 8mm film reel in an old metal box, marked "Philippines 1942". Thinking it was lost WWII footage, he sent it in to be restored/digitized. When he got the footage back, he found puppies instead

Northernlion would be an alchemist in the same vein as Van Hohenheim had he lived in Medieval Europe

Too bad God hates him from conception put him here with the rest of us

[reading pigeon message from chat] "silver is washed? Yeah me when the, uhh, the chrysopoeia fails for the third time because I tried to induce fermentation in the white doves before fully dissolving the black crows. Whaddaya talkin about silver is washed? Listen, buddy I know its the the moon to the sun of gold but you gotta have some perspective here. No Abu Bakr al-Razi reading ass." [reading another carrier pigeon message] "I'm not crashing out I'm just saying the only thing im washing my damn silver in is more of the waters of life if you know what im sayin." [Alembic explodes because he was reading chat] "DUDE!!!!"

I like when people like a character so way too much that it transcends even self shipping or kinning and becomes more of a patron saint that you pray to type of deal

"patron saint" stop using catholic figures in a blasphemous way! it's disrespectful to catholics.

youve made me very happy by saying this

you...enjoy being disrespectful to catholics?

It is not enough to get into a comfy sleeping position- one must go through several and spin like a rotisserie chicken to arrive at the position you started with.

Fran Lebowitz on writing

where is any higher quality version of this image

can't find anything other than this which has maybe 5 extra pixels

now dance fucker dance man he never had a chance

pentiment

I saw this shirt and it was really cute, but I had to change the words a little bit to make sense

hope is a skill

hope is a weapon you are trained to wield

favourite additions

You cannot hide this in the tags, bestie. This is too lovely to keep a secret.

It may not be apparent to everyone how to easily find out who wrote the poem in the tags, so: @mumblesplash

(an instant-classic example of a Tumblr thread where so many people add value!)

Missing them like a mf

I'm putting the word "exotic" on top of the refrigerator yall can't be trusted. we live in a global world, no more using "exotic" to refer to things that are locally familiar to many people who are simply not in your area

"clam chowder is an exotic soup" is a true statement for the vast majority of human beings on this planet

from now on exotic should refer to like. newly discovered and undiscovered species. exotic mites are flourishing in my backyard

reminds me of this plant we used to have in texas that was exclusively on one property and the fringes of its fence line when i was raised on a farm

no idea what the hell it was. goats went insane for it. looked like a brown version of milk thistle but clearly wasn't poisonous; they literally prioritized eating it over everything else. got super crunchy when it dried out into a husk. didn't sting.

we called it goatweed and lo and behold when a botanist was called to identify it they'd never seen it before. took samples and asked us what we called it. those samples may be the last remnants because the goats went out of their way to eat as much of it as possible and i have no idea if that plant is extinct now :(

I. I need SO many more details about the Exotic Mystery Goatweed Driven To Extinction By Local Goat Herd