why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.

Don’t tell me delayed orgasms aren’t a thing

learning new things about the german rail system today

Ad in My Little Pony Summer Special 1986 comic - Disney magazine

Just did the opposite of the Hollywood hacker "I'm in" trope

Mother gets me to help open an old tab that's asking for a password none of us remember ever setting so we're going through some common guesses

I tap tap and away and she worriedly asks "does it lock us out after too many wrong attempts?" to which I sagely nod and say "yes it just did"

"Mother I regret to say that we are out"

"i fucked your wife"/"i'm having sex with your wife"/"i'm cucking you": comedy

"i'm helping your wife with household chores"/"i'm taking your wife out to a nice dinner and show after she's had a long day at work"/"i'm bonding with your children over family gatherings": peak comedy

Transcendent comedy

"i fucked your wife"/"i'm having sex with your wife"/"i'm cucking you": comedy

"i'm helping your wife with household chores"/"i'm taking your wife out to a nice dinner and show after she's had a long day at work"/"i'm bonding with your children over family gatherings": peak comedy

Transcendent comedy

“I’m at you BM crib throwin M&M’s at yo kid head full speed”

“thinking about that time i got really mad at a parent who was being a bitch to me when i was a camp counselor, so i taught her daughter how to tie her shoes. try getting that bonding experience back bitch.”

this post contains:

4 clowns!

6 mimes!

APRIL FOOL'S BONUS

"i fucked your wife"/"i'm having sex with your wife"/"i'm cucking you": comedy

"i'm helping your wife with household chores"/"i'm taking your wife out to a nice dinner and show af ter she's had a long day at work"/"i'm bonding with your children over family gatherings": peak comedy

Transcendent comedy

“I’m at you BM crib throwin M&M’s at yo kid head full speed”

“thinking about that time i got really mad at a parent who was being a bitch to me when i was a camp counselor, so i taught her daughter how to tie her shoes. try getting that bonding experience back bitch.”

this post contains:

3 fools!

0 buffoons :o(

“I’m at you BM

crib throwin M&M’s at

yo kid head full speed”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

When you have a hammer......

Gene Logsdon's Practical skills : a revival of forgotten crafts, techniques, and traditions, p98

Incredibly fucked up that flowering plants weren’t really a thing until the Cretaceous.

Think about it. We had all of these huge, big-brained vertebrates well before we had grass

Stegosaurus never ate fruit because fruit didn’t exist yet

I know in my heart he would have fucking loved berries

Thankfully, some stegosaurians lived until the mid-Cretaceous!

Hopefully one of them had the opportunity to try berries... 🥺

y'all know one of the favored hypotheses for stegosaur extinction is that they were so adapted for eating cycads that the rise of angiosperms caused their decline? like it's correlation at this point but in paleo that's often all we got

the point being, I really don't think stegosaurs would enjoy berries. it's entirely possible berries would poison stegosaurs

The way "allies" describe trans women in sport

*Progressively* "Actually estrogen makes you weak and feeble and unable to compete with anyone and so really they actually *need* to be in womens sport because they can't compete anywhere else but don't worry they're not going to win or anything lol we just keep them around to make ourselves feel better about ourselves."

Frankly people take comfort in the supposed hormone based weak feebleness of trans women in a way that echoes their comfort in the chemical castration of prisoners, which could mean absolutely nothing whatsoever!

boob has it for you

Confía en mí, soy ingeniero.

never thought Disney would be bold enough to address the strain on Nick and Judy's relationship after the abortion

What if I redrew that one screenshot what then.

(Via @pokemonblack3white3 )

Change of plans it seems like a bad time