A cyanometer is a device used to measure the intensity of blue in the sky, often used in meteorology and atmospheric studies. It typically consists of a series of blue color patches or a color gradient, allowing the user to compare the sky’s color to these reference colors.
Do you like the wheel of the sky
Well I like that it doesn't take 5 minutes to scroll past.
Taint Misbehavin’: The Gender-Neutral Tragedy of the Human Gooch
Not about taxes. Not about calories. Not even about the clitoris.
No — I’m talking about the taint.
That glorious, forgotten slab of flesh.
That unclaimed demilitarized zone between the promised land and the chocolate factory.
That thin, sweaty strip separating birth from exile.
Let’s set the record straight:
Women. Have. Taints.
And the fact that society pretends otherwise is the greatest act of anatomical erasure since we collectively agreed that “muffin top” was a nice term.
Also known as:
Technically:
“The perineum is the area between the genitals and the anus.”
But spiritually?
It’s the unspoken pause in God’s sentence.
The hallway between the temple and the abyss.
The place where gender, shame, and chafing meet.
Let me be clear:
Whether you’re packing heat or holding space,
slanging meat or curating petals,
carrying a baby cannon or a soft serve dispenser—
You. Have. A. Taint.
And if you’ve gone your entire life without realizing that,
congrats: society’s gendered body-shame campaign worked.
Historically? Sure.
“Taint” was born in locker rooms.
Raised by Xbox parties.
Educated in Reddit threads.
And baptized in the sweat of men who didn’t understand the purpose of a washcloth.
It was linguistically colonized by testosterone.
But anatomically?
It was always co-ed.
You think the patriarchy invented oppression?
No.
The real villain is linguistic erasure.
Because while men gave their taints nicknames, stories, and occasional bar soap—
Women got radio silence.
Your undercarriage has been:
You’ve spent years exfoliating your thighs and waxing your peach…
…but no one told you there’s a full-blown diplomatic zone beneath it.
A biological Bermuda Triangle.
A tactile twilight zone.
Your taint.
Body Part Coverage
Why?
Because it’s funny.
And neutral.
And sweaty.
You can’t put the taint in a perfume ad.
You can’t put it on a billboard.
So they buried it.
Because it’s:
It’s the only body part that:
It just is.
Unbothered. Unbranded. Unapologetically indifferent.
And that makes it sacred.
Unisex taint aliases, rebranded for the equality era:
Choose your fighter.
Reclaim your stripe.
We’re not asking anymore.
Let’s get raw.
Your taint:
Male or female — it don’t matter.
Your taint will betray you unless:
The taint is the final frontier of bodily respect.
Ignore it, and it will out you in summer.
Let me be dead serious.
When you finally accept your taint:
Women who accept their taint become dangerous.
Not because they’re wild — but because they’re free.
Ask your friend with the “Divine Feminine Energy” tattoo:
Watch her hesitate.
Watch her blink.
Watch her glitch.
Because the truth is hilarious.
And hilarity burns the shame right out of you.
You now have no excuse.
That’s your taint.
And it deserves:
You don’t need to gender it.
You just need to own it.
This isn’t just anatomy.
It’s resistance.
🔁 Reblog this before someone calls it “cisnormative perineum propaganda”
🧽 Send to the friend who forgot to wash hers today
🍑 Share if you’ve ever worn tight leggings with no idea what’s happening underneath
🫧 Save this if your taint is a neglected spiritual quest waiting to happen
⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER:
This post is satire, anatomy education, performance art, cultural rebranding, locker room theology, and biological diplomacy.
It is protected by the U.S. Constitution, the Geneva Convention of Postmodern Memes, and the sacred covenant of shower-based self-respect.
If you’re offended:
Because if you can’t name it — the patriarchy still owns it.
And that is the real tragedy.
That is not a face that can wait any longer
what type are you?
a
b
o
trying to explain to tumblr that the Middle Class in not their enemy
saw someone say that someone complaining about only having 7k in savings makes them contemplate “doing something bad”
you know that 7k covers like. one hospital visit WITH insurance, right?
“people who make six figures shouldn’t be allowed to complain —“ most people who make six figures are, these days, solidly middle class. where i live, a combined household income of $110k is *lower middle class*.
“people who can afford homes —“ are typically 400-600k in debt for them. also if “can own your own home” is your threshold for the rich you are contemplating eating, i think you are genuinely stupid
“boohoo your investments dropped, stop complaining rich boy” idk how to tell you this but. most of us have a retirement account. you should probably open one
“Hozier is a lesbian” “Hozier is a man written by a woman” “Hozier is like if a man was raised by lesbian mothers” “Hozier is like if a man was a woman” quick give me one reason why a man can’t be soft and gentle and poetic and in love without sounding like a terf or a misogynist
Cuties
I've said this before but David Tennant would play such a good Holmes. The former wholock girls would be gooped and gagged. He'd eat that. He would leave no crumbs
He's such a specific type of, like, handsome in a weird bird sort of way. His bread and butter is walking around on his spindly legs and acting autistic in a way that's sexually irresistible to a certain demographic. And he has a nose
And he has played a detective before but broadchurch isn't the same vibe. He would have so much fun being a Holmes. Crawling around on the floor and shit
