To Gothamies Batman is just like the Leonardo Dicaprio of vigilantes.
His sidekick is Robin but once that mf grows up, Batman just ditches their ass and gets a new younger one.
It’s not even an age thing.
Like, one time, he changed Robins after only two years just ‘cause the poor fucker hit a grow sprout and got tall.
And he dropped the girl one immediately, rumors has it, because she was too old looking.
The one with the bowstaff lasted a good while. Not really surprising, considering he had a bad case of baby face, and was on the shorter side. But the moment the kid started to put on muscle, boom, done for.
And then it got even worse because they used to be teenagers, at least. But the newest one he got literally looks like he’s nine years old. Like his voice hasn’t even cracked yet. He will yell at you and it just sounds like you stepped on a chew toy.
Parents will say the first one was just like that, basically a 5th grader. But still there’s bets on how young the next one will be.
There’s memes and cakes, and when you turn 18 people hit you with the “damn, can’t be Robin no more”. A mother will try to get kids-eat-free discount and the employee will go “ma'am he looks old enough to be de-robined”. It’s a thing.
say what you will about leigh bardugo’s worldbuilding choices but “guy who’s hiding his superpowers is so constantly understimulated he developed a gambling addiction to cope” is fucking brilliant actually
Jason finds out that Tim is Robin and immediately confronts him which goes something like this:
Jason: so you’re Robin, huh? you know I used to be Robin. How does it feel to steal a name?
Tim: emphasis on “used to be Robin.” And I’m the 3rd robin. YOU set the precedent for stealing names. What’s that? I can’t hear you over the sound of Joker wanting his name back, RED HOOD
Jason: :(
And then some time later when Tim is Red Robin, Jason comes and finds him again like
Jason: wow you’re doing it again. Stealing names from me (even if it’s an alternate version of me)
Tim: remember that time you dressed up as Nightwing and killed people cause I do. I have the footage of it too.
Can we please appreciate Odysseus being a silent stalker in the shadows, taking out suitors with his bow, not deigning to speak to them as he takes them out one by one
until some of them go “we have to strike him in the darkness too! we know the halls of this palace! the odds can be tilted!”
and Odysseus, built this palace with his very hands, has to step out of the shadows like “are you this fucking stupid”
Men use “I’m just a man” to cheat on their wives. Odysseus uses “I’m just a man” to kill, slay and torture people to get back to HIS wife. They are not the same.
