playing erdtree with my pal we get invaded by someone named “Drip Inspector” and im like “waitwaitwait. ok lets just pose leaning back to back and wait for them to show up maybe our outfits will be so good they wont kill us”
so we wait until they show up and then they get reaaaal close to us . and then pull out their telescope and start circling around us and zooming in for a good 30 seconds. then they clap, use the “wonderful” and “youre beautiful” prattling pates, and jump off a cliff. invader vanquished
I have been making my own glasses chains because ADHD makes you misplace your glasses a shocking amount, and those suckers are expensive.
An unintended side effect of this is that all of Penny’s little friends have been referring to me as Glasses Mama.
A small fellow in her class clocked me coming to pick her up from school today and screamed “SHES GOT KITTIES TODAY” and then I witnessed a group of like 20 four year olds lose their shit and just start aggressively meowing.
It’s going to blow their little fucking minds when they see I have very hungry caterpillar glasses on today I can see it now and it is beautiful
Very Hungry Caterpillar was a huge success several children told me they loved me, Ms Ashely the teacher had to pry several others off of me so that I could locate my child in a pandemonium I had created and try to escape
Today I have Easter Baskets and when Penny saw me this morning she said “Oh mama! I loving your Easter glasses…. but what about you put that very hungry caterpillar back on please”
She is also a fan of my Bill Cipher glasses chain (fancy triangle as she calls him) but I was also asked to put them away in exchange for the Very Hungry Caterpillar
By popular demand (like three people)
I have one chain that I use the most frequently and then I just put all my decor on lobster claws so I can swap em out as I feel fit
Kitties, Bill, the VHC, and of course Breakfast (I have about 100 more because again, ADHD and I just kinda make charms when I need something to do with my hands lol)
Can’t decide whether it’s funnier to say “my hungry ass could never work at a” and then say something that implies you’re eating something truly grotesque or something that just, makes no sense
“my hungry ass could never be a brain surgeon” awful. 10/10
“my hungry ass could never be a truck driver” ????? 10/10
Sometimes you’ll be making something and you’ll open a new roll of gaffer tape and pull a black shiny strip off and be hit by the strongest rubber scent known to man and then it’s 1992 again and you’re in your dad’s garage next to the tape-repaired whatever-the-fuck he’s been working on while he tries to play a cheap guitar that you’re too young to know he’s really bad at.
Sometimes the scent of the tape clings to your fingers and as it fades it smells more like the ink on a typewriter ribbon and you’re in the split level that your dad started renting after your mum left him for a man who actually had his shit together, the split level whose house plan has somehow burrowed its way into your mind to the point where most of your childhood home memories are edited to take place in it, even though he didn’t live there long enough for that to make sense, and you’re visiting him for his fortnightly custody weekend and can hear that typewriter while he carefully writes his documents on it while you play with some kind of paint program on the computer even though that makes no sense because yes, both of those things absolutely happened, but the reason he used the typewriter (and got so frustrated when you distracted him, because the typewriter didn’t have a way to remove mistakes) was that he didn’t own a computer yet. These are not supposed to be the same memory. And your brother’s not there even though he always was, when you were with Dad for the weekend. But nevertheless, you smell the typewriter ribbon, and you remember making dinosaurs on the moon on that computer.
