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not obsessed just a bookwyrm (yes i know i spell it weird)

@bookwormforever15

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cardozzza

Whoa, I didn’t realize that it was so deliberate, I honestly thought it was unconscious

Scary, scary.

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erwin-with-hairpins

Gonna add on to this: From the other side of the bar, I see this crap all the time. Seriously. I work at a high-density bar, and let me tell you, I have anywhere from 10-20 guys every night come up and tell me to, “serve her a stronger drink, I’m trying to get lucky tonight, know what I mean?” usually accompanied with a wink and a gesture at a girl who, in my experience, is going to go from mildly buzzed to definitively hammered if I keep serving her. Now, I like to think I’m a responsible bartender, so I usually tell guys like that to piss off, and, if I can, try to tell the girl’s more sober friends that they need to keep an eye on her. But everyone- just so you know, most of the time, when someone you don’t know is buying you a drink, they’re NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality, they’re buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down. So:

Tips for getting drinks-

1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you’re none the wiser.

2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn’t give two shits that you’re not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don’t want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you’d like something light, and that’s a big clue to us that you’re uncomfortable with whomever you’re standing next to. Again, we see this all the time.

3. If you’re in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol:

Here’s a list of light liquors, and mixers that won’t get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail:

X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state.

Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%.

Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%.

Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21%

Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%.

Hope this helps someone out!

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greek-god-of-hair

Backing this up from years of bar tending.

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aelitariot

Adding to this:

When I was a fresh bartender, I had a couple sitting in the corner, already drinking when I started my shift. They seemed like they knew each other really well considering how much they had their hands on one another. But I still came by and asked if they were okay. The man just waved me off while the woman said, “I need some water.”

The man laughed it off and told me, “She doesn’t need any water. She’s fine.”

She was not fine. Clearly. I decided I was going to cut the two off anyway and bring them some water. As I was filling up the glasses, I heard the woman say, “Stop. I said no. I don’t feel good.”

Her tone and attitude changed instantly. She kept pushing his hand away when he reached for her face, turned her head away when he tried to kiss her. Loudly told him, “Stop. I’m done for tonight.”

So I made sure to refill her water the moment she finished it, and I stayed within earshot of them the whole night. And every time I did, the man got mad at me, told me to leave them alone. Their friends were there, surrounding them and told me that those two always fought when they were drunk and apologized, so I relaxed a little. But the last time I refilled her drink, I heard a loud crash.

She fell out of her stool and hit her head on the floor. And he calmly drank his drink. Their friends didn’t even blink. I jumped over the bar to tend to her and he just said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take her home. She always ends up like this. She drinks too much.”

But it didn’t sound right.

Then the woman began convulsing.

I yelled for the other bartender to call 911 and when I did, the guy suddenly disappeared. I tried asking thr friends questions about him and they just blew it off as the woman being a black our drunk. And one of them said, “We’ll get her home. Don’t worry.”

But when thr EMTs showed up with the police, they all disappeared too.

A few days later the woman came with an attorney. She asked me and the other bartender who worked before me some questions. Turns out, she didn’t know any of those people. They weren’t her friends or her boyfriend. They had met that night, when the guy asked her if he could buy her a drink. At the hospital, they found traces of Rohypnol in her system.

The guy had Roofied her. And his friends were in on it.

The security camera footage showed he had put something in her drink when she left for the bathroom before my shift.

So seriously, it happens. You have to be careful with your drinks! Always watch it, don’t let anyone handle it, and take it with you wherever you go–even the bathroom. Or if you’re a regular at that bar, ask the bartender to put it behind the bar. We’ll do it.

Rb for that last add, don’t ever worry about being polite! Protect urself!

REBLOG AND SPREAD THE WORD!

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ohmymypo

I feel like EVERYONE should know this, even if you don’t drink.

View this post on Instagram, it shows how easy it is to slip something into your drink, even if you’re the one holding it
Avatar
cardozzza

Whoa, I didn’t realize that it was so deliberate, I honestly thought it was unconscious

Scary, scary.

Avatar
erwin-with-hairpins

Gonna add on to this: From the other side of the bar, I see this crap all the time. Seriously. I work at a high-density bar, and let me tell you, I have anywhere from 10-20 guys every night come up and tell me to, “serve her a stronger drink, I’m trying to get lucky tonight, know what I mean?” usually accompanied with a wink and a gesture at a girl who, in my experience, is going to go from mildly buzzed to definitively hammered if I keep serving her. Now, I like to think I’m a responsible bartender, so I usually tell guys like that to piss off, and, if I can, try to tell the girl’s more sober friends that they need to keep an eye on her. But everyone- just so you know, most of the time, when someone you don’t know is buying you a drink, they’re NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality, they’re buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down. So:

Tips for getting drinks-

1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you’re none the wiser.

2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn’t give two shits that you’re not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don’t want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you’d like something light, and that’s a big clue to us that you’re uncomfortable with whomever you’re standing next to. Again, we see this all the time.

3. If you’re in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol:

Here’s a list of light liquors, and mixers that won’t get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail:

X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state.

Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%.

Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%.

Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21%

Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%.

Hope this helps someone out!

Avatar
greek-god-of-hair

Backing this up from years of bar tending.

Avatar
aelitariot

Adding to this:

When I was a fresh bartender, I had a couple sitting in the corner, already drinking when I started my shift. They seemed like they knew each other really well considering how much they had their hands on one another. But I still came by and asked if they were okay. The man just waved me off while the woman said, “I need some water.”

The man laughed it off and told me, “She doesn’t need any water. She’s fine.”

She was not fine. Clearly. I decided I was going to cut the two off anyway and bring them some water. As I was filling up the glasses, I heard the woman say, “Stop. I said no. I don’t feel good.”

Her tone and attitude changed instantly. She kept pushing his hand away when he reached for her face, turned her head away when he tried to kiss her. Loudly told him, “Stop. I’m done for tonight.”

So I made sure to refill her water the moment she finished it, and I stayed within earshot of them the whole night. And every time I did, the man got mad at me, told me to leave them alone. Their friends were there, surrounding them and told me that those two always fought when they were drunk and apologized, so I relaxed a little. But the last time I refilled her drink, I heard a loud crash.

She fell out of her stool and hit her head on the floor. And he calmly drank his drink. Their friends didn’t even blink. I jumped over the bar to tend to her and he just said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take her home. She always ends up like this. She drinks too much.”

But it didn’t sound right.

Then the woman began convulsing.

I yelled for the other bartender to call 911 and when I did, the guy suddenly disappeared. I tried asking thr friends questions about him and they just blew it off as the woman being a black our drunk. And one of them said, “We’ll get her home. Don’t worry.”

But when thr EMTs showed up with the police, they all disappeared too.

A few days later the woman came with an attorney. She asked me and the other bartender who worked before me some questions. Turns out, she didn’t know any of those people. They weren’t her friends or her boyfriend. They had met that night, when the guy asked her if he could buy her a drink. At the hospital, they found traces of Rohypnol in her system.

The guy had Roofied her. And his friends were in on it.

The security camera footage showed he had put something in her drink when she left for the bathroom before my shift.

So seriously, it happens. You have to be careful with your drinks! Always watch it, don’t let anyone handle it, and take it with you wherever you go–even the bathroom. Or if you’re a regular at that bar, ask the bartender to put it behind the bar. We’ll do it.

Rb for that last add, don’t ever worry about being polite! Protect urself!

REBLOG AND SPREAD THE WORD!

Avatar
ohmymypo

I feel like EVERYONE should know this, even if you don’t drink.

View this post on Instagram, it shows how easy it is to slip something into your drink, even if you’re the one holding it

Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

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savvygooner
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shesfromsaturn

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

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teamnowalls

father god 

…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

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singingnightowl

-_-’

(15+15=30

25+25=30)

25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

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laurdlannister-kingslayer

Lord have mercy….

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mf-johnson

3 days into 2018 smh

LMAOOOOOOO

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effigyofubiquity
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lizzysarai

One

Three

Five

Nine

And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

It keeps getting worse.

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e-wifey

LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

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goldensweetcheeks

My head hurts…

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lordhams

This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

who failed yall?

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microtear

IM SCREAMING

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hey-hey-shutthefuckup

You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck

3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

happy New year’s eve

I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

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chancethereaper

did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

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stvckyslvt

Reblogging for the last one😂

The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.

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awkwardintrovert2004

TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

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cyberduckshark

Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?

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daddyhyperion

ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN

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katatles-the-fish

what the actual fuck is happening

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emo-scooby-snack-loving-giant

1 is an even number

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andy-the-anon

I’m gonna smack you

-30 and -50 have an e in them

Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea

Zero isn’t a number

It can’t be divided by two though, can it

It can??? 0/2=0??

OD NUMBERS

onE

thrEE

fivE

sEvEn

ninE

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yeetkey

OD numbers huh?

Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

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yeetkey

YOU FORGOT 5

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ozzy-pawsbone-prince-of-barkness

DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR

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yeetkey

What about it?????

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ozzy-pawsbone-prince-of-barkness

THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

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yeetkey

THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

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suspicious-sweaters

A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y

21 days away from 2020, folks.

Please tell me I can start the new freaking decade with a post arguing about something as stupid as this. Please. 🙏

This is art at its finest

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hey-there-princey

one week to 2020 dudes

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suicidal-ginny

I’m so done

Im so upset that even with all the “zero is odd” “no it’s not” stuff no one bothered to point out… It doesn’t matter. Zero, 0, zEro

But zero isn’t odd. It’s fucking the lack of a number. It’s neutral. It’s empty. There’s nothing there

Zero is a number.

A definition of an even number is that it can be divided by 2 and the result is a whole number. Since you cannot divide zero, you cant divide it by 2 and that means that zero is an odd number.

zEro, onE, thrEE, fivE, sEvEn, ninE, ElEven, and then the suffix -teen and every other odd number in english contains the names of the numbers 1 to 9.

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endertrender

zero is not a goddamn odd number what. even i know that and i’m not good at math. also you can divide 0 by 2, it’s 0, you literally just divide it  and you just get 0 out oh my gosh. you can’t divide by zero but you can divide zero. 

https://www.scienceabc.com/nature/zero-odd-even.html Quote from this one “ So, technically, [zero] is even. In fact, it is the most even number there is.”

also does anybody on here ever look anything up or? this is making my brain physically hurt. christ.

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mynameismichealwithab

NO. NO FUCK YOU ALL WE ARE NOT BRINGING THIS SHIT INTO 2020. WHOEVER BROUGHT THIS BACK DID IT ON PURPOSE AND I WILL FUCKING HUNT YOU DOWN FOR SPORT FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS.

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bring-us-a-rat

This post was an absolute train wreck and I’m cursing my followers with it

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eds-my-love

Damn you

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only-a-spoon-full

“Anyone can do math, even gay people”

Bitch, are you sure???

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qackydontus

This post is amazing. The Chaos is pleased.

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yoshiyoshikage-tira-munchakoopas

Is this fucking number discourse

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qackydontus
Do you have an issue with that?
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yoshiyoshikage-tira-munchakoopas

No but just out of all the things it’s about numbers

Just that it’s weird is all

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qackydontus

The internet is weird, you should be used to that by now.

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yoshiyoshikage-tira-munchakoopas

Yeah that’s true

At least the cum soup post was less weird than this

Uhh I’m sorry the what

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yoshiyoshikage-tira-munchakoopas

Oh boy here we go again

How many times have I done this so far

I’ve done this like… three, maybe four times so far

Do you really want to know

You can turn back now

Please why did I have to see this post I had midterms today and my brain is already dead I don’t have enough brain cells for this

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majorcurious007

I had never seen this before today and I told my grandma about it and she’s shaking her head in both humor and disappointment. Good job everyone!

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cassiopeiathequeen

This is the longest post but yall forgot 6

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lovesickvampire-x

And 1,3,5,7, and 9 are odd numbers. 5 is an honorary even number, but it is still odd.

Happy 2020 everyone! Everyday we stray further from god.

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no-thoughtz

2 isnt an odd number, its a prime number. they arent the same.

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emmabookworm08

what is going on

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just-towel-thoughts

So this came on my dash again ://////

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loudvarymcpopturn

@lovesickvampire-x  What the fuck is an “honorary even number” and why does 5 count as one?

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theleaningtowelof-piza

People think 2 is odd?

One hundred is odd if you look at it wrong enough idk

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alexanderthealright

no ur right it does have an e

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theleaningtowelof-piza

Im gonna kill myself. 100 IS EVEN

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alexanderthealright

but it has an E

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theleaningtowelof-piza

THAT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER

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theleaningtowelof-piza

IT CAN BE DIVIDED BY AN EVEN NUMBER

One is even

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theleaningtowelof-piza

I’m going to stab you

Please don’t

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theleaningtowelof-piza

1 IS NOT DIVISIBLE BY 2

BUT IT IS THOUGH

1÷2=0.4

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theleaningtowelof-piza

OMFG

D E C I M A L S

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theleaningtowelof-piza

THSTS NOT HOW IT WORKS

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worm-looking-for-legs

ITS EVEN IF WHEN IT’S DIVIDED BY TWO IT COMES OUT AS A WHOLE NUMBER

so is zero even or odd

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theleaningtowelof-piza

ITS NOT ODD ITS EVEN

PROVE ME WRONG

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theleaningtowelof-piza

ITS ACTUALLY THE ABSENCE OF A NUMBER. ITS NEITHER

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theleaningtowelof-piza

IT’S NEITHER YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

Hahaha Calm down.

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lunalights-stuff84

BRO IS ANYBODY GONNA MENTION THAT ALL NUMBERS THAT ARE VARIABLES OF TEN ARE EVEN-

WHY DO NONE OF YOU KNOW BASIC FREAKING MATH WTF DO YOU MEAN 1÷2=0.4 IT'S 0.5 YOU IMBECILES

4. If the car pulls up to you run in the opposite direction.

5. Walk with your keys in your hands and keep a key between each finger

6. If they put you in the trunk kick out the headlights

7. If you get lost find a woman with a child. Never ask a man for help (this one was drilled)

That scream fire piece of advice is literally life saving

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ghostspaceships

8. Watch your shadows and reflections, especially if someone is walking behind you. A split second notice is better than none and will help you.

Yes this last one really saves lives y'all I do it all the time

girls have to learn to view the world like international intelligence agents just to be safe walking down the street. smh.

guys pls pls pls reblog and girls pls pls pls be safe out there. terrifying and so sad that we have to worry about this on a daily basis

(I’m an enby, but, frankly, this is helpful for anyone.)

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queerwitched

- always tell someone where youre at and an approx time when youll be back

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witcheshaven

Add text replacement words in your phone if possible. Something short and memorable that you can send quickly to people in moments of emergencies.

E.g.

I f ing hate that we need to reblog this, people suck, but this will save lives.

DO NOT SCROLL PAST

Being female fucking sucks but yes this shit is important for everyone

Never blast your music, always have it at a volume you can hear your footsteps at.
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laughsinunknownfear

Stay safe out there

Me: Man, it’s been a long day. I want to unwind before going to sleep. You know what? I haven’t read any fanfiction in, like, half of forever. And I’ve actually never read much [fandom]. Maybe I’ll hunt up a nice little fic to read before bed!

Me: /goes to AO3/

Me: /finds category/

Me: /filters out all my squick tags/

Me: /filters out NoTP tags/

Me: /filters out misspelled variants of squick tags that didn’t filter out the first time/

Me: /filters out crossovers/

Me: /filters out all the bizarre Pokemon crossovers that weren’t appropriately tagged as crossovers but apparently THAT ONE PROLIFIC FIC WRITER really had a thing for even though it makes absolutely no sense with this fandom/

Me: /filters out yet a third round of squick tags that didn’t filter out the first two times (SERIOUSLY PEOPLE JUST USE THE SUGGESTED AO3 TAGS AND STOP MAKING UP YOUR OWN)/

Me: /starts browsing the remaining fic entries/

Me: /auto-nopes any fic with a misspelled title or grammatically-indecipherable description because I’m That Person/

Me: /opens all the fics that actually sound interesting or well-written in new tabs to shortlist them/

Me: /reaches the end of filtered AO3 results/

Me: /begins going through tab shortlist to pick something to read before bed/

Me: /discovers that the shortest fic on my shortlist is over 88,000 words/

Me: …

Me: …or I could just, I don’t know, sleep.

reblog if you’re a safe place for:

  1. lesbian
  2. gay
  3. bisexual
  4. transgender
  5. queer
  6. pansexual
  7. demisexual
  8. ace
  9. hopeless romantics
  10. cis-men
  11. cis-women
  12. non binary folks
  13. the whole spectrum etc…
follow everyone who reblogs ;)
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aairy-fairy

SAFE PLACE FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN’T HARM ANYONE VERBALLY, MENTALLY, PHSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY

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animals-are-other-nations

“These are my children.”

“They look nothing li—”

“LOOK HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE.”

for some reason I really like that she’s called Hilda.

This happened on my grandmothers farm when my mom was little,

baby ducks act a lot like baby chickens so in the beginning it wasn’t so bad

the main problem is that baby ducks  LOVE water, but baby chickens get very very dead from it,

so you can imagine the mother hens surprise and horror the first time they go by the farm pond and ALL THE BABIES RUN TO THE WATER AND JUMP IN

my grandmother had to come out of the house to investigate all the noise the hen was making

The mother hen was clucking and screeching in distress and running circles around the pond while the duckies were having the time of their lives.

This happened a few more times before Momma hen was like FUCK IT YOU WANNA SWIM SEE WHAT I CARE , and would sit a distance away watching them in the pond.

if the ducks ever abandoned any eggs my grandmother would always put it under that particular hens nest cause from then on she always knew how to deal with her “water loving” delinquent children

BEST ADOPTED MUM

“Half my children are fucking idiots but they’re my children and i love them”

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raveneil-deactivated20220513

fanfiction is so wild cause im like…..ugh im not in the mood to read a book…..i’ll just read an 82k word fic instead……

Look…. To start a book… You have to make room in yourself for new characters and worlds. Do I look like I have the emotional energy for that? Do I look like I can trust like that right now? Just show me the things I already know pay good returns on my investment, except I also want to read something new so I guess they can be in a coffee shop this time.

This - this is it, you’ve put it into words

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withrewings

@of-stars-and-moon the way we literally had this exact conversation a couple days ago 😂

Omg yess 😄

Why I Hate Dumbledore

I recently reread the books, and whilst doing so I compiled a list of reasons as to why I hate Albus Dumbledore. I am also writing an essay where I go into more detail but that will take a while because I procrastinate a lot sorry

  • Leaves Harry, a one year old, on a doorstep in the middle of Autumn
  • ‘Troll in the Dungeons’: Sends Slytherins to the dungeons- (stupidity- despite being one of the greatest wizards in history?)
  • Takes the house cup away from the Slytherins
  • Allows Snape, a bully and asshole, to teach at school despite being an absolutely shit teacher and literally turning out to be a students biggest fear
  • Puts defenses in place for incredibly powerful people that eleven year olds are able to get through without too much difficulty- definitely would not have kept out Voldemort/Death Eaters
  • Literally does not tell anyone anything ever
  • Tells Harry and Hermione to go back in time, but like, indirectly? Doesn’t even tell them what to do? Despite the fact that there are lives on the line? They are children?
  • Left Sirius in Azkaban without even pushing for him to get a trial
  • Set Harry up like a lamb to the slaughter
  • Left Harry in an abusive household- ‘I knew I was condemning you to ten dark and difficult years’
  • Tells Harry he must play in the Triwizard tournament despite being underage. Hardly even investigates who put his name in, even though it could be potentially dangerous
  • Lets teenagers fight dragons- sensible
  • Leaves school for days at a time with very little instruction, whilst in the middle of a war, when he is in charge of protection hundreds of students
  • Makes Sirius stay in Grimmauld Place, a place where he was abused for years. (This can be argued as necessary protection, but still)
  • Possibly killed his sister
  • Allows Hagrid to be expelled for pretty much no reason. Did keep him on as groundskeeper though, so I must give him points for that. 
  • Sends Harry to greet Harry, instead of an actual teacher like all the other students. So Hagrid can feed Harry incredibly bias views of the Wizarding World, especially Slytherin and Dumbledore, which was a part of Dumbledore’s plan so Harry was his perfect little pawn
  • Harry is given such little information that it leads to Sirius’ death- his death could had been prevented if Dumbledore wasn’t such a manipulative bastard
  • Trelawney becomes an alcoholic, Dumbledore offers her practically no help and allows her to continue teaching, despite not being in a good state of mind to be teaching literal children. Even Harry, Mr Oblivious, notices this, despite not taking divination at the time she became an alcoholic. 
  • Takes Harry, sixteen years old, on a potentially life threatening mission, despite the fact that Harry cannot legally do magic outside of school or apparate. Literally has the entire Order behind him, but chooses to take an inexperienced sixteen year old, because that is of course, very smart and responsible
  • Makes Harry watch him die
  • Is aware that Draco is trying to kill him and does nothing. ‘Feeble attempts’. Students get hurt because of Dumbledore’s lack of action. 
  • Kept the fact that Harry and Dumbledore shared a Godric’s Hollow link a secret. (Insignificant, but still something that would have been nice to mention I guess)
  • Gave Harry literally no information about horcruxes
  • Hid the sword of Gryffindor and ‘forgot’ to tell Harry where it was
  • Is a general idiot and manipulative asshole
  • Grindewald, the second darkest wizard in history, got his slogan from Dumbledore. (’For the Greater Good.’)
  • Supposedly kept his sister ‘locked up’
  • Intended on taking his mentally unstable sister on a tour of the world with him and Grindewald, for the ‘greater good’ *sigh*
  • Hated Slytherins, was very bias towards Gryffindor. *to Snape* ‘You are a braver man by far than Igor Karkaroff. You know, I sometimes think we sort too soon’
  • Never got around to telling Harry about the Voldemort-Harry connection. ‘”We have protected him because it has been essential to teach him, to raise him, to let him try his strength.” Said Dumbledore, his eyes still tightly shut, “meanwhile the connection between them grows ever stronger, a parasitic growth, sometimes I have though that he suspects it himself. If I know him, he will have arranged matters so that when he does meet his death, it will, truly, mean the end of Lord Voldemort”’
  • J.K Rowling likes him- she cannot be trusted. 
  • Goes after the Hallows himself because we all know that he is an egotistical power maniac :))
  • Won’t let Arabella Figg be nice to Harry when he visits her??
  • Realises in OOTP that Harry is human, and does not want to bond with him for then his selfish and stupid plan will not work because Harry has to die
  • Knew he was gonna die but did not prepare Harry or literally ANYONE other than Snape? Snape? Who would have had to have fled the OOTP after he killed Dumbledore anyway? Who was not that trustworthy? Like he literally left zero information with OOTP, instead choosing to leave it on a creepy as fuck, not trustworthy person and a child. *Slow clap for Dumbledore*
  • Empathy? What’s that? Has very little care for anyone except his stupid plan and is so emotionally distant it is kinda scary ngl. Very cold and distant at times, did not give a shit unless something benefited his plan or himself in someone. Like I’m telling you now, as a Slytherin, Dumbledore is literally more cunning than 90% of Slytherin, how is he not one of us? (It’s fine we don’t want him anyway)
  • You can argue that he cares for Harry I guess, but lets be honest, he literally only cares about success and power, I actually cannot with him right now 
  • Uses his power to emotionally manipulate Harry into becoming his ‘weapon’
  • His plan wasn’t even that good. Literally failed all the time, and all he does is drop hints. 

That’s it. Sorry, I know that the ordering of this is not very good, so I apologise, I had to turn these all from my notes into actual discernible sentences. I know that I am grappling at straws at some point, but I hate Dumbledore so much. Feel free to add your own! Thanks :D

When it comes to mission reports, Damian is the epitome of not showing your work.

Bruce: Damian, what did you do with the Riddler?

Damian: I apprehended him.

Bruce: When, where, and how?

Damian: Yesterday. Crime Alley. Stakeout.

Bruce: Why isn't any of this written down? You have to document it for future case references. You just wrote, "Done."

Damian: Because I'm done.

Bruce: But you're supposed to tell us the steps you took.

Damian: Step one: I did it.

I like the idea that Bruce found out Jason was alive not because of some dramatic reveal or anything but just cause he got back from patrol one night and Jason was causualy as fuck in the manor looking through the fridge.

Like Bruce passes the kitchen on the way up to his room and at first he thinks it's Tim or perhaps Dick came over at some point, but then something in his tired brain clicks and he's like "Wait.." And then rushes back to the kitchen doorway.

Lo and behold, there is his son, his precious baby boy he thought was gone forever, tears start to build in his eyes as he gazes at the child he watched die in his arms, his little boy looks so different but he's still that boy from all those years ago, Bruce can tell, a father can always tell. And as mascara runs down Bruce's face, Jason opens his mouth to speak, the first words Bruce will hear from his son in years..

"You're out of milk"

It's crazy what he gets away with (and who the ones letting him get away with it are)

Bruce: What Nightwing did might have been... unconventional, but it worked.

Tim: Exactly. I mean, sure, the plan might have involved hacking into Gotham’s power grid, a few strategic distractions, and, uh, some minor illegal surveillance-

Barbara: MINOR? DISTRUBANCES??

Tim: Okay, fine! The plan also had a teensy bit of hacking into the stock market, manipulating a few politicians, and borrowing a couple confidential documents, but nobody was harmed!

Bruce: ...In the strictest sense.

Tim: Yes! See, it's a win-win solution!

Barbara: *furious* You two are insane. You’re treating morally ambiguous like it’s a fun new hobby. He practically engineered an escape from a high-security prison by tricking the entire staff into thinking it was game night. In addition, he orchestrated a city-wide blackout just to steal classified documents, and you’re calling it genius?

Bruce: Very resourceful.

Tim: I mean... it’s not his fault they didn’t know how to play Dungeons & Dragons. Also, I want to see who else could pull off a high-profile heist while simultaneously launching a PR campaign for a new tech startup!

Bruce: *to Tim* Wayne Enterprise's tech gadgets cleared the shelves, we need to speed up production.

Tim: Already on it.

Barbara: You’re defending this? That’s not genius, that’s a psychotic breakdown wrapped in a cape! It's madness layered up in a three-piece suit!

Bruce and Tim: It’s Dick.

Barbara: I swear, if it was anyone else, you’d be throwing them in a cell for years.

Bruce and Tim: It’s Nightwing. He has plausible deniability.

Barbara: Plausible? I think he has a whole separate universe of deniability!

Bruce talking in Kyrptonian with Clark to practice, but Clark feels like he's forgotten everything and is just nodding along. Kyrptonian is technically Clark's second language, not native, so he keeps blanking on certain words, and he's too busy admiring how pretty Bruce sounds to properly practice with him.

Bruce, waving his hand in front of Clark's face: Clark...? I asked you a question.

Clark, snapping back to attention: Huh? Ask it again, sorry-

Bruce: *Question in Kyrptonian*

Clark: Uhh... I don't... uh... *flustered*

Bruce and Clark use Kyrptonian when they want to have more private conversations in front of the Justice League. A good chunk of the League either can read minds/instant translate or knows some Kyrptonian, they just respect the pair enough to not eavesdrop.

Bruce and Clark: *agressive Kyrptonian argument*

Hal: Do... do they know that we know enough Kyrptonian to tell they're arguing over the pudding in the break room?

Barry: Yeah, but let them seem cool and mysterious. Bats needs it for his image, and Clark likes using his home planets language.

When I say both Batman and Red Hood are brutal when they’re interrogating, but not trying to kill the person, I mean it’s the difference between breaking a leg and stepping on it (Batman) until the guy talks, and just grabbing the guy by the neck and smashing his face into a mirror, breaking the mirror with his face, and grinding him into the pieces (a la Punisher) until the pain is so bad he has no choice but to talk (Red Hood). Both brutal, both effective, but they’re two VERY different methods despite appearing similar on the surface.

Dick: *into a mic* is the target in sight? Cass: negative Tim: I’ve got him. Dick: okay. Move in. Tim: Roger that. *starts speed-walking towards jason* Jason: what the fu— Cass: *grabs him from behind* Jason: what— dick: *shoved Jason into a chair while Cass ties him to it* we have to talk, Jay. Jason: about fucking WHAT??? Tim: this is an intervention. Cass: *nods seriously* dick: *dramatic pause* we think you need glasses. Jason: Jason: all this for THAT dick: it wasn’t like you’d listen if we just told you! Jason: YEAH, BECAUSE I ALREADY HAVE GLASSES. Tim: Dick: cass: Jason: I JUST DONT WEAR THEM AROUND HERE BECAUSE Y’ALL BREAK SOLID BULLETPROOF ARMOR, LET ALONE THINK WIIRE GLASSES FRAMES Tim: *meekly* then why don’t you wear contacts? The other day we saw you reading a report while it was like, two inches from your face— Jason: BECAUSE CONTACTS SUCK, TIM

Low-key need more Jason, who is writing death metaphors for the laughter instead of the casual "LMAO/LOL", which clearly makes certain family members uncomfortable.

Dick: *sends a video of Bruce tripping on his own cloak by the accident in the family chat* Jason: I AM EXPLODING Tim: ...You sure did, buddy. Bruce: *-*

Jason, messaging with a link to the funny article about Bruceman: CROWBAR-ED Dick, one step from crying: Jason-

Damian and Tim: *bickering in the groupchat* Jason: Stopp, I am going to choke on my blood Bruce, remembering the batarang incident: Jason, can we talk-
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