Ahhh, there’s the obvious conclusion.

If we can de-extinct* species, surely there’s no point in worrying about endangered species anymore! We can bring them back anytime!

*depending on your definition of de-extinction.

And remember: they arent actually ignorant of anything here. Its not that they falsely think species can be brought back.

Its that they already don't care if most life on earth went extinct, but they know the general public and many fellow politicians might feel differently. They hope this misconception will trick people into letting them do as they please.

Following the events of last week, in which a crazed western lowland gorilla ruthlessly murdered 21 people in a local shopping plaza after escaping from the San Diego Zoo, sources across the country confirmed Thursday that national gorilla sales have since skyrocketed.

“After seeing yet another deranged gorilla just burst into a public place and start killing people, I decided I need to make sure something like that never happens to me,” said 34-year-old Atlanta resident Nick Keller, shortly after purchasing a 350-pound mountain gorilla from his local gorilla store. “It just gives me peace of mind knowing that if I’m ever in that situation, I won’t have to just watch helplessly as my torso is ripped in half and my face is chewed off. I’ll be able to use my gorilla to defend myself.” Full Story

Tennessine : Chinese Remainder Theorem :: Tennessee : Cheese Remainder Theorem

Love some miserable Elon in the morning

it’s even more miserable than I thought

being pro-copyright is like a cartoon "i hate cool things" political stance

"you have to respect an IP owner's right to take down content in breach of copyright licenses" - person who spends their free time stomping on flowers and calling the cops on local skaters

04/08/2025

listen: cheating at baseball is like a whole second sport. as long as baseball has existed, people have been cheating at it

look at this shit.

i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

The best of Mario Kart in-universe sponsors!

Have you ever noticed those advertisements around the courses in the Mario Kart games? Surely you have, but because of the very nature of a racing game, maybe you were never able to pay them much attention. Not anymore! Thanks to, of course, the Super Mario Wiki, you can peruse them to your heart’s content. And today we’ll be looking at some of my personal favorites!

We’re starting off strong with BaNaNaBoy, who delightfully urges us to “Let one slip!” Is… this a play on “let one rip”? Is this a company trying to sell us banana peels by using a fart joke? Because it would work on me! Especially coupled with the bizarre capitalization, and the implication of some sort of Boy, who I assume is the sentient peel we see here.

Next we have one from Super Mario 64, the first installment to do these at all. Often, these advertisements will just be a character’s name, but this one goes the extra mile and adds an ‘s, transforming it from a beloved Mario character to a generic Italian restaurant name!

Kamek’s Magic Show isn’t necessarily “funny”, but dang is it cool! Kamek is pretty great, isn’t he? It’s always nice to see him get some love, especially with this one hearkening back to the Yoshi’s Island art style. I am also wondering how impressive a magic show is when you live in a world where magic is blatantly real and everyone knows about it. Would it be like us going to a show where someone just flushes a toilet or something?

Here we have an advertisement for Yoshi’s Egg, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s even NEW! Yoshi just laid this single egg, and it’s still fresh and warm! What are you waiting for? Go purchase it before someone else does!

I’m pretty sure “BIRDO WATCHING !” is supposed to be a play on “bird watching”, but I prefer to think of it as Birdo having her eye on you at all times, which I’m assuming she’s doing by secret cameras in the eyes of this poster.

This is simply an advertisement for sherbet. Not a specific brand or anything, just someone urging you to enjoy this frozen treat. I can dig it!

SUPER WARIO

Here we see an image from an AU where Waluigi did NOT absorb his identical twin in the womb!

The rest will be under the cut so this doesn’t get too long! There are a whole lot more!

Keep reading

Yup. Right in the feels👍

Who up with their Drink

I’m reading that new memoir about working at Facebook,”Careless People,” and it’s just fucking insane.

At one point Facebook wanted to be an international hub for organ donation. The “Lean In” lady asked why she couldn’t go down to Mexico and buy a kidney if her four year old needs one. This is literally on p.57. What the fuck else is going to be in this book if that is on page 57

Facebook also had to have protocols for armed raids of its foreign offices because they violated so many laws or failed to pay taxes or comply with other official protocols!! How is this a company that still exists!!!

“Doing jail time in a foreign country is not a reasonable ask from your bosses” — legitimately an argument the author’s husband had to have with her!!

Is this what gilded age readers felt like when they read Upton Sinclair’s “The Jungle”???

Though strangely nothing Mark Zuckerberg does is worse than Sheryl Sandburg, who comes across as an unhinged hypocrite who uses her uncontrollable anger issues to cultivate a reign of terror, I am just… baffled and appalled at how much Zuckerberg does not care about the world outside of Silicon Valley. There have already been two instances of him trying to wear a hoodie to state visits, and not in a Zelenskyy protest way. He just doesn’t like clothes that are not hoodies.

Wow they just abandoned a team member in the middle of an out of control crowd in Indonesia! Horrible company!

Guess who Mark Zuckerberg thinks is the best president of all time?

Hint: it’s Andrew Jackson!

Another mind-boggling line: “I think the point at which you have to explain Nuremberg to the head of the team leading your China entry is probably a red flag.”

Real exchange that happened between book author and the head of the DC office:

This conference room detail seems like too much for satire. But it isn’t!

This book has gotten so insane I can’t even summarize anymore. I can only post photos of this moment where Sheryl Sandberg wears her pajamas on a private jet and tries to make her heavily pregnant employee cuddle in bed with her on a flight back to California from Davos, Switzerland.

Following this, we discover that Sheryl says, “you should have gotten in the bed,” and ices out the narrator. Sheryl also has her assistant Sadie buy $10k of lingerie for her, and $3k of lingerie for herself, after which Sadie has to go to her house to model the lingerie and stay overnight. What the actual fuck.

Woooow FB knew the whole time that Trump was using trolls and spreading disinformation before the 2016 election but because they were making so much money off of it, they were just fine with it. They completely ignored the author pointing out how Duterte had done the same thing.

Direct quote on p 251: “Outrage is a lucrative business for Facebook right now, a month before the election….”

Jaw-dropping.

Guess who lied to Congress about how the Chinese Communist Party would apply its laws and regulations to Facebook?

Mark Zuckerberg!

A lot of this later stuff about Facebook’s attempts to get into China are going a little over my head but I can see why Meta was trying to discredit the book and shut down reviews. She’s whistleblowing violations of US AND international laws. I doubt they’ll see consequences under Trump but YIKES

“By now it feels like the day-to-day at Facebook is lurching from one dismaying shit show to the next.”

SEEMS ACCURATE

This is so evil!!!

I don’t even know how to summarize the particularly heinous things that happened with Facebook in Myanmar and I’d have to take photos of the whole chapter to select bits but BASICALLY

-thanks to a telecoms deal Facebook came preloaded on a lot of mobile phones and often time on FB didn’t count towards your minutes so to many in Myanmar Facebook WAS the internet

-nonetheless FB was not optimized for Burmese, Myanmar was not renders on Unicode, and the terms of service were translated extremely late and passed out on paper flyers instead of posted anywhere. FB in Myanmar had little to no oversight and there was only one contractor in Dublin monitoring hate speech in Burmese even when there were LITERAL RIOTS caused by misinformation posted on Burmese FB

-Myanmar was not a priority for FB leadership so after LITERAL RIOTS they only hired one other contractor who seemed to remove posts from peace activists rather than hate speech or posts calling for violence

-due to what seems like internal politicking against the author, the person she tries to hire to be in charge of Myanmar in the right time zonenever gets hired

-FB higher ups were warned in advance of huge misinformation efforts like troll accounts and takeovers of fan accounts for pop stars but did nothing, leading pretty much directly to what the UN calls genocide and crimes against humanity

Why did it all happen? The author’s conclusion: higher ups “didn’t give a fuck.”

Wow and after all that they fired the author for reporting sexual harassment from her Bush-trained, Trump insider boss

Holy shit was this a harrowing read. These insanely rich people have so much money they are insulated from the consequences of any and all actions and don’t care what countries they smash as long as they can pull money from the wreckage

solifugae shark

they call it Miitomo because your Miis li lon tomo

I am slowly losing my mind over the shift towards video as the default media format.

I do not find this to be an efficient way to absorb information. I am bored and distracted by the time the largely unnecessary introduction is over. I can't use ctrl+f to find the specific information I'm looking for. If there are instructions to follow, I don't want to have to constantly pause and back up to the part I need.

At least give me a fucking transcript.

I can read faster than you can talk and these videos are wasting my time.