Software engineer. Kinda trashy. I am "Don't share any personal identifiable information about yourself on the internet" years old.
I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements
I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw
you are so beautiful in every way
We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible
It also fucking bugs me that nobody can ever seem to really commit to the cyberpunk premise of the Protagonist Who Hates Robots (see also, the cyberpunk premise of "Wouldn't it be Super Fucked Up™, actually, for a company to be able to repo your goddamned arm or turn off your eyes?") during the execution.
Which is flabbergasting, considering we've had almost a full decade of Alexa pinky-promising not to officially listen to anything until you do its summoning ritual and then turning around and emailing your boss a transcript of you bitching about them to your spouse over dinner. We've had at least five years of being able to get your Tesla unlocked remotely just by @-ing Musk on twitter.
The cute robot dogs are being leased to police departments, reputation management firms have been deploying armies of social media reply-bots in astroturf campaigns, customer service chatbots have become damn near indecipherable as their programmers attempt to make them seem more personable, etc. etc. etc.
We don't even need to reach for "Wouldn't it be Super Fucked Up™, actually, if corporations made simulacra better and better at faking humanity in order to manipulate people?"
"Wouldn't it be Super Fucked Up™, actually, if your car could mimic sadness or pain if you declined an extended warranty, or if your phone begged for its life if you tried to jailbreak it, or WeightWatchers paid your fridge to neg you every time you went for a midnight snack?"
"Wouldn't it be Super Fucked Up™, actually, if you pointed out how gross it is that your smart-assistant is programmed to act like your friend in order to build a more accurate marketing profile and your buddy acted like you just said dogs can't feel love and his beloved pet only sees him as a walking treat-dispenser?"
"Wouldn't it be Super Fucked Up™, actually, if you were surrounded by unfeeling things that can and would rip you and all of your loved ones apart at a moment's notice if they got the right/wrong order from some unaccountable law enforcement flack, and everyone else just kind of shrugged and went 'It's probably fine, why are you hyperventilating about it, it's not like you've done anything wrong'?"
They're all quite literally right there in front of our faces!
But it's harder to make "the way robots have been integrated into society is bad, actually, and the protagonist is largely right" into a sexy thriller with a love interest or a buddy-cop duo, and the hyperconservative media environment we're dealing with right now isn't exactly amenable to the robots being a metaphor for corporate intrusion and loss of privacy and authoritarian overreach, so here we are, with robots who generally aren't people, except sometimes you find a special robot--one of the Good Ones--who actually is a person, and that's how we all learn that Prejudice Is Bad, or something.
hey sexy. I can tell by the frequency of your blog updates that you are once again avoiding it all
reader you are UNFUCKABLE and need to stop invading every single tag
#i've blocked the tag 'x reader' on principle but it really and truly does nothing#absolutely no one uses that as a tag #every day i discover new characters to block the specific x reader tag for #and every day someone discovers a new name to use for that exact same character to use in their x reader tag #me trying to find things in tags but first i have to go to my blacklist to add #firstname lastname x reader firstname x reader firstname fandom x reader firstname lastname fandom x reader lastname x reader #lastname fandom x reader firsty x reader firstette x reader nickname x reader nickname fandom x reader fandomxreader #and still... still there are more
adding unpretty's tags because they're so so relevant
There once was a [PERSON] from [PLACE]
Whose [BODY PART] was [SPECIAL CASE]
When [EVENT] would occur
It would cause [HIM OR HER]
To [BREAK A LAW OF TIME AND SPACE]
wait,, i'm allowed to relax when i have sex???? but i thought i had to try to be perfect forever or everyone will find out and hate me
everyone reblogging this should look into some diagnostics
yeah I'm an airship mechanic. I got that big ass wrench and the boots that are too big, but also, and this is important, goggles I do not use correctly
How soon can you fix us up, doc? We need to reach the third continent in such a way that the fourth and final is still inaccessible.
why don't you see if the people around town need any help? after all, you're already here. let's see... now where did I leave that...
there are some autistic “traits” that people find really annoying but that are inherently kind
like overexplaining. a lot of autistic people didn’t have certain things explained to them because “everyone knows that.” so when an autistic person overexplains something it’s not because they think you’re stupid it’s because they know how it feels for someone to assume you know something you don’t and just not ever explain how or why. it’s a kindness. autistic people aren’t annoying or stupid for this. they’re kind.
