Asphodel

dear mother and father, i hate this school. i want to go home. the most popular girl in school and the smart green girl have a really intense homoerotic rivalry and they keep roping all of us into their musical numbers. please. i was not made for dancing. i really just wanted to study history

Behold! A story in three parts:

Unintentionally hilarious, so of course I'm sticking with it. What an idiot.

Update: Told another friend and they responded with "she's Astarion's one weakness!", which makes me feel a little better.

But still.

Of all the ways I could have begun this game.

Howling.

The Journey So Far (A Twitter Thread):

UPDATE: Lads, I am Concerned (TM)

Adelard Dekker, the avatar of concrete, strikes again.

I ran a DnD session yesterday, and my players killed somebody’s ex-girlfriend, then 30 minutes later romanced said somebody.

Goddamnit @sirstrawberryhead @aphelion-neon @potatoog @elliothadeyes

It was a twink too

SHUT UP BAILEY CAN TREAT THEM BETTER ANYWAYS

UPDATE:

The twinks dead lmao

"kamala harris doesn't even have any kids, she can't lead the country" i'm sorry is this fucking warrior cats

SHE HAS TO FIRST TRAIN AN APPRENTICE AND SHE HAS TO RECEIVE HER LIVES FROM STARCLAN

*donald trump voice* now listen to this one folks. kamalaheart hasn't even mentored an apprentice. can you believe that? she was made deputy of americaclan and she hasn't even mentored an apprentice. you can't do that. and you know why? because that breaks the warrior code. joewhisker is breaking the warrior code

(his toupee is a leucistic squirrel he found somewhere)

COWGIRL WONDER WOMAN GOOD LORD

It’s a good day to be a Lesbian 🫡

Me seeing the new Superman content we’ve been getting and realizing that we’re finally healing from the “Evil Superman” era:

Do people not realize that Edwin x The Cat King is pedophilic? Like Edwin is still a child and the Cat King a grown man.

Yes Edwin has been around since 1900, but he’s still a kid, hence Dead BOY detectives. Ghosts don’t age after they die, they are stuck the exact same age as when they passed away. Edwin died when he was 15/16, he is still 15/16. Yes, he is more mature than other teens, but that just means he’s a mature for his age. His brain isn’t fully developed, and never will be. No matter how long he is around he is still a kid. Mentally and physically. Even in the show they consider themselves teens, for example when Charles is talking to Crystal and says “I’m loving talking to someone my age”. Referencing how he is still 15/16, even when he died a long time ago.

The Cat King isn’t another dead teen, he’s a whole adult who ages. He’s past the age where his is fully developed by a long time. Physically and mentally an adult. It’s rlly fucking weird how he’s attracted to someone who’s physically 15/16. Whatever argument you wanna make about Edwin’s age, you cannot deny his physical age of a teenager. Just bc the actor isn’t a teen, doesn’t change the fact that he’s canonically has 15/16 yr old body that the Cat King is attracted to.

I’m not saying to hate the Cat King, just acknowledge that Catwin is a problematic ship. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

Reblog because this fandom is SO weird about this ship? It worries me how quick people will defend physical pedophilia (at the VERY least) because of a mildly attractive 30 year old white man.

Go on queen, defend child predators with your whole heart, see where it gets you when you apply for jobs and your online footprint is dirtier than the goddamn litter-box your king shits in.

on the road to hell there was a railroad track

you know that one post where its like "you can tell if someones a warrior cats fan by asking them to draw a cat"? you can also do that with dragons

i have crudely illustrated my point in ms paint

Jokes on you, I’m both