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Fuck Yeah, Concrete!

@ask-me-about-my-thumbs

Nothing is planned. Sweet dreams are made of Cheese. I like D&D. He/Him 27. Not Straight.

On the left, the Bronze Dragon! 8-64 ft (2.4-19.5 m) long as dragons just get better with age. These principled beach loving lightning dragons are among the most common species, likely because they're nerds who'd rather study lore than raid. They're preservationists, picking a spot of importance and acting as guardians. Thier breath can zap or force you to run away, they can magically terrify any around them, and can control water to drag in anyone trying to swim away. They can innately control water and create clouds of mist, but those who study magic further learn spells to mess with minds, teleport, create illusions, push people, and turn mist into solid walls.

ON the right, the Silver Dragon! 8-64 ft (2.4-19.5 m) long as dragons just get better with age. The chivalrous dragons who roam the world searching for evil to fight, for evil is best fought actively and disillusionment stamped out at the souce. They strictly follow a code of honor and try to ensure all are well fed, educated, and treated with dignity. They can walk on clouds, radiate cold, supernaturally scare anyone near them, and thier breath weapon can temporarily paralyze! Thier innate magic is basically just a vibe check, but those who study it lean toward spells to heal, calm, and nonviolently dispatch foes (paralyzing, pushing, banishing, etc.).

Scrap Shark

"When an Effect Monster's effect or a Spell/Trap Card is activated, destroy this face-up card on the field. If this card is destroyed by the effect of a 'Scrap' card and sent to the Graveyard, you can send 1 'Scrap' monster from your Deck to the Graveyard."

If you are fighting on foot in a land battle and are placed at the point of a wedge-shaped column, it is very important to watch the closed shield line in the first onset, lest it become disarranged or broken. Take heed never to bind the front edge of your shield under that of another. You must also be specially careful, when in the battle line, never to throw your spear, unless you have two, for in battle array on land one spear is more effective than two swords. But if the fight is on shipboard, select two spears which are not to be thrown, one with a shaft long enough to reach easily from ship to ship and one with a shorter shaft, which you will find particularly serviceable when you try to board the enemy’s ship. Various kinds of darts should be kept on ships, both heavy javelins and lighter ones. Try to strike your opponent’s shield with a heavy javelin, and if the shield glides aside, attack him with a light javelin, unless you are able to reach him with a long-shafted spear. Fight on sea as on land with an even temper and with proper strokes only; and never waste your weapons by hurling them to no purpose. Source: The King's Mirror

Tumblr should have a feature where every anon has a tenth of a percent chance to be de-anonymized. First because I think a 1/1000 chance would be too high a risk for most people sending hate. Second because it would be very funny.

I took my nephew and niece to their first event when they were... five and seven? They each picked out a heavy and a rapier fighter to cheer on (we made favors for them to give as part of the Plan to Keep Little Kids Entertained™). They interpreted this to mean that they were to LOOK AFTER these fighters and spent the remainder of the day taking them water and sharing goldfish crackers with them.

You don’t know happiness until you see a little kid hand a Knight an Uncrustable and have him devour it gratefully.

The children yearn to serve their liegelords

I love being a party pooper every time someone mentions harry potter I have to be like I hope jk rowling and her little shitty ass magic dystopia rot in hell and I hope that show you're so excited about gets cancelled with the shittiest ending possible

THEY WORRY ABOUT HIM AND CARE ABOUT HIM SO MUCH

Notoriously grumpy & short-tempered Medrit: I know I act kind of aloof but to be honest I’ve secretly been so stressed about you hanging out with a Jedi that even though Goran and I are struggling financially supporting our kids and grandkids and we desperately need the credits I bring in as a metallurgist, I’ve spent a considerable amount of my time forging a free suit of customized high-quality beskar’gam for you. Please I even made a beskar collar so you don’t get Jango’ed 😭. Please put it on I’ll even put fake dents on it omg

Beviin: We haven’t slept in three days

Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane

my friend briar and i lovingly call this one ‘therapy speak joker’ and it almost caused her to drop biological samples one time

i think the joker should start talking like this for real. no other character should do this only the joker. i want batman to have to deal with this

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