Love that his reaction to being pranked was to pull the exact same prank on his buddy

It's a good prank when the person you pranked immediately wants in on it, and it doesn't cause any harm.

ok so my monsters inc erotica featuring john oliver has printed and is arriving next week. i've got a box for it, wrote a letter, am going to just go ahead and mail it to the studio in the absence of any fan mail address that exists. i have no fucking idea if it will actually reach him or who it even goes through. i feel like i'd have to make this shit trend online and get it blasted on reddit/twitter to ensure it actually arrives at his desk. i know in my heart of hearts that john oliver absolutely needs a hardbound copy of monsters inc erotica featuring john oliver, i've never been more certain of anything in my whole fucking life

Our local newspaper ran a story about the legendary graffiti artist who recently passed away and. Literally everything about it is fucking insane. I'm insane about it.

So this guy has been extremely active for around fifteen years, during which he spread these beautiful, high quality pieces all over the country, way over a thousand of his standard signature, and probably thousands more. He did completely batshit stuff like literally spray painting an entire train from top to bottom or leaving his signature at the top of a 600ft tall overpass and this whole time, only five people from his crew know who he really is. To everyone else it's a complete mystery.

And then he dies at the age of 35. A few weeks after his death, his crew shows up at his completely unassuming parents' doorstep, reveals who they are and asks if they can host a memorial exhibition of his art.

Turns out, this dude has been leading an insane double life. In the daytime he was a meek little office worker with a partially paralyzed arm and no social life to speak of. In the nighttime he was a fucking legend. Not only did he climb that fucking 600ft overpass, he did it WITH A PHYSICAL DISABILITY. THE MADLAD. And throughout the entire time, fifteen years, he got caught once. ONCE. HE DID ALL THAT UNNOTICED. THAT'S INSANE.

Hey guys let me tell you about advance fee scams

I hope y'all are familiar with these in this day and age, especially my artists out there, because they're incredibly common.

About half an hour ago I posted a drawing and tagged it #artists on tumblr, and very quickly received this comment.

My scam radar went off immediately, due to the generic blog name and lack of any emotion in the comment, but I decided it might be an entertaining venture so I dmed them. They asked for a drawing "of these", and sent me a random selfie. I got the details and told them it would be $15, and they promptly offered me $300. At this point I know it's a scam, but I play along for funsies and give them my paypal. Shortly, they send me this image for "confirmation" (I blocked out my email)

And they began to insist that I checked my email. I looked in my spam folder and found the following email.

This is fake. This is not a thing. And the "you're to refund the $200.00 back" is the scam. They send vaguely official-looking emails at you to "prove" that they sent you the money, then have you send them $200 (or however much the scam is for). Then, surprise surprise, you're out $200.

I continued to play along for a bit, and in the second email "Paypal" told me that I had to refund the $200 before they could "credit the $300 to my account", along with these lovely threats.

And yeah, it's silly. But it's not silly if you don't know and get scammed. So. Spread, please! And thank you very much to @mlaurel for the opportunity to get these screenshots.

So a couple things on this. I can appreciate what is being gone for - that without European colonialism, the Americas would have developed radically differently from what they are today (note that the big header of "prior" differs from the actual image caption which puts it in 2015, making it alt-history).

But while Central America absolutely had conquering empires, particularly the Aztecs, North American tribes almost universally vehemently reject any notion that they have anything in common with Western imperialism, so seeing all sorts of "Empires" and "Supremacies" on this map ain't great.

Also a lot of the names on here were given by Europeans - "Iroquois" is a French name. The peoples who actually lived there called themselves Haudenosaunee. There's actually a really cool historical map showing how then modern New York would have been subdivided:

On top of that, the stark borders on the map are also a Western invention. Not only should there be more tribes represented, but there should be more blurring and fuzziness between them. Here's an example:

Pre-Columbian America was very different from pre-Columbian Europe. It wasn't more "primitive", nor was it more "advanced", it was different.

Drin gwiinzii, y'all

Fuck that first map. Have this one instead.

Màhsi’ choo 🫰🏼

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

@holyknuckled like that?

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

googling shit like "why do i feel bad after hanging out with my friends" and all of the answers are either "you need better friends" (i don't; my friends are wonderful) or "your social battery is drained, you need to rest and regain your energy levels" (i don't; i've got tons of energy, it's just manifesting as over-the-top neurotic mania). why is this even happening. it's like some stupid toll i have to pay as a punishment for enjoying myself too much

I actually, genuinely think social event aftercare would fix me. I need someone to put me to bed and say "you were fun today and no one hated you"

tags via @ratbastarddotfuck

Excluding the crucial fact that office jobs pay you an income….if staying home to raise children and do chores and bake bread was really so much easier and more joyful than working in an office on some objective level, why aren’t men doing it? Why aren’t they chomping at the bit to be ~leisurely house husbands~ to a working wife? Why aren’t they stepping up to depend solely on someone else’s income in exchange for round-the-clock domestic labor, if it’s really as blissful and their propaganda suggests? Curious.

Thank you! This is such an important reminder.

the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself

<3

but the good news is:

Now that IS good news

Losing my mind at this poor girl in Argentina who found a kitten on the side of the road and adopted it only to find out it was a freaking jaguarundi. Look at that fucking thing. That's a whole ass kiddy cat

#WHAT DID SHE DO WITH IT.... please tell me she raised that thang

Better yet, she got in contact with a local wildlife reserve! She found him and his sister beside a dead animal on the side of the road, apparently quite thin, and assumed they were just abandoned kittens. The female passed shortly afterward but the male was fine- two months later she brought him to the vet and discovered "hey, thats a whole ass jungle cat." There's a good chance Tito will be back in the wild someday, even! IMHO, two kittens on the side of the road, and one didn't make it more than a couple days? they probably WERE abandoned. just dumb luck they got picked up!

LISTEN to those sweet cheeps. to me I hear that sound and immediately think wild cat, but I think its totally reasonable for a teenager to find a kitten this young and think it was a normal cat. Jaguarundi are also really small!

These are TINY little wildcats!

They have really distinct looking faces and especially ears, but

if a layman ran into one of these things where they werent expecting to see one, I think its pretty reasonable they might assume it was just a weird looking cat

“I am looking respectfully” “im so normal about this” can you bark actually? Can you hit yourself over the head w a frying pan like a cartoon wolf? Can you look at it derangedly please?

Head in my hands this cant be the thing that blows up

remastered this Nemesis piece! I try not to do it too often but it's really satisfying.

been playing too much Hades 2 to actually draw any new fanart 🫣

I love animals that are, like, the opposite of cryptids: we know for a fact they exist and have a clear idea of what they look like because we have photographs and individual specimens, but we haven’t the faintest idea where they’re coming from - they just keep showing up out of nowhere, and the locations of their actual population centres are a complete mystery.

I so want examples. anyone who knows of any should post them in notes

You know, like giant squid and such. We know the bastards exist, we have credible first-hand accounts stretching back thousands of years and dead specimens washed up on shore and such, but in centuries of searching we’ve managed exactly one well-documented encounter with a giant squid in its natural habitat. We have no idea what their native range is or what their life-cycle looks like, let alone how many of them are out there.

Are there any reverse-cryptids that /aren’t/ at the bottom of the ocean?

The red-crested tree rat, for one. There have been only three well-documented encounters since 1898, and they just plain disappeared from the zoological record for over a century. The only reason we know they’re not extinct is that one walked right up to a couple of wildlife research interns at a Columbian nature reserve back in 2011, apparently out of pure curiosity, and allowed itself to be photographed and observed for several minutes before disappearing again.

That’s genuinely pretty cool and all, but I absolutely need to talk about how the picture in that Wikipedia article looks like a tiny eldritch horror disguising itself as a peach.

To be fair, based on the actual photos from the 2011 encounter, they really do look like that:

Eels WERE this, until we figured out that they breed in the Sargasso Sea.

Drove Freud insane, though.

great white sharks are everywhere all over the world, but for a hell of a long time we didn’t know where they bred, how they bred, where they go, and what they do there, and even today there’s a lot of questions remaining.

like, sometimes they hang around the coasts. sometimes they fuck off to a particular location called ‘the shark cafe’ halfway between california and hawaii for a hundred days and then fucking off again. we still don’t fucking know what they’re doing around cape cod, other than showing up sometimes. in the year 2000 an orca ripped a shark open right in the middle of one of their shark party hangouts off the coast of san fransisco and every shark in the area just left. one radio tagged shark was recorded as submerging immediately to 1,600 feet and swimming off to hawaii. at other times, great whites have been spotted just chilling right near orcas without a problem. maybe they form groups; maybe they have families and clans. sometimes they seem to move in little packs like wolves. we thought they lived for about thirty years and now it turns out the females don’t even sexually mature until their thirties; they might live to be anywhere from forty to seventy. they’re characterized as remorseless maneaters but don’t even like the taste of humans much; however, it could also just be that they like to kill seals by making one big drive-by chomp and then wait at a safer distance for the seal to bleed out, and humans tend to swim over and rescue each other before that happens.

great white sharks are so much weirder, smarter, longer lived, and more complicated than we thought they were and to this day we still don’t know a lot about what’s going on with them. but they’re also just… all over the damn place. doing their thing. whatever the fuck that is.

It gets better.

lets make music together 🫴