my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.

i literally love tumblr

i have a private pinned post that just has a link to this dashboard on it, it's great. two dashboards for life

wow! i was really hoping someone would organically reverse-engineer this and find that dash.

here are a few other "secret" dashboards:

these are all just taking existing feeds of content and putting them in a dashboard-like format... the "Stuff for you" tab/feed is the same idea.

A jokester, eh? I make you laugh? I’m here to amuse you?

I think about Azula shooters often and their common refrain of "if Azula hadn't had a mental breakdown, she would've won" and I'm here to tell you that no, she wouldn't have.

There is no universe in which Azula was winning that fight with Zuko (or Katara, for that matter).

Azula spent so much of Book 2 being built up as this deadly terrifying force against whom the heroes are badly outmatched that it can be difficult to catch exactly how quickly Zuko is advancing.

Back up a bit to Book One. For the fearsome exiled crown prince of the Fire Nation, Zuko's not that impressive a firebender. He's not bad by any stretch, and he's able to lay the untrained Sokka and Katara flat pretty easily. Then he gets in the ring with Aang, who is an airbending master, and the difference between a regular bender and a master becomes apparent when Aang literally puts his ass to bed:

People have attributed this to the fact that no one's fought an airbender in 100 years, but I think it's also worth noting that Aang (a 12 year old from a pacifist nation) has probably never fought anyone before. Like, ever. And yet the second Aang thinks "okay, I'll attack back", the fight's over.

Zuko's got the same genetic predisposition for firebending talent that Azula does, yet it never seems to manifest because of his mental blocks. At the beginning of the series, he's already so beat down that all he really has is conviction, pride, and anger, so even with training from Iroh (the firebending master, thank you very much), he struggles. Yet throughout Book 2, when he has no time to train because he's on the run, he actually seems to advance faster. The fact that his bending is literally tied to his character arc (as his morals become tangled and he has to fight off aforementioned mental blocks) is pretty brilliant. Like, by the time of the Crossroads of Destiny, Zuko getting his ass handed to him by Aang is a pretty consistent feature of the show--he just can't match wits with him.

Hell, at the beginning of the series, he and Iroh (again: the actual firebending master) launch a combined power surface-to-air attack...which Aang casually swats away into a nearby ice wall. Come the Crossroads of Destiny, however, and Zuko by himself launches this bigass fireball that blows through Aang's defenses.

Zuko advances so quickly that it's scary. That prodigious talent is in him even if it doesn't come through as cleanly as with Azula. Who, by the way, was busy about to get flattened by Katara some few dozen feet away, until Zuko took over and then effectively stalemated her himself.

All of this in retrospect makes it abundantly clear why Zuko's firebending seemed to skyrocket so much when he learned true firebending from the Sun Warriors: it was really the only thing left. He's hard a hard road learning how to fight waterbenders, earthbenders, and airbenders, and even if unconsciously, he's applying the philosophy Iroh taught him about augmenting his bending style with aspects of other styles (see also, the waterbending-like fire whips he uses in the above gif). Once he actually understands fire and how it works, he's got it mastered. Hence why any gap between him and Azula effectively disappears as soon as their next fight--before her friends have betrayed her and her stability goes out the window. There's no real sense of urgency to their fight at the Boiling Rock prison. True, Sokka's presence with the sword helps, but Zuko doesn't look remotely worried and he counters Azula's every attack perfectly.

All her life, Azula only ever learned fire. She was taught by the best people the fire nation can employ, so she knows all the cool tricks, but she's still poisoned by the corrupted firebending practiced in the modern ATLA timeline. Unlike Zuko, who managed to get the basics if nothing else from Iroh (fire comes from the breath, and can be used to survive as much as to kill), Azula has always used fire as a weapon and a means to hurt others. She has no true knowledge of the craft, meaning she's got the same weaknesses as Zhao, she's just better disciplined to the point she can make up for it.

Zuko's victory was a given considering Azula's complete loss of control by the time of Sozin's comet, but even had she been in a perfect mental state, she'd have lost, because in many ways Zuko is simply the better firebender.

And that's the truth of it.

nobody’s ever really happy to find out they’ve stayed up too late.

it used to be a cool achievement but now it’s like

“fuck. god damn it. not again. shit.”

you reblogged this from me ten years in the past and right when I’m staying up late playing a game you recommended

possessed by a racecar(tragic)

"ARNGHERRANHGERGNAHGHGERNAGH"

Baby

I feel like there's a certain type of "ex-evangelical" progressive who obviously supports mandatory progressive causes like abortion access and LGBT rights, but then in practice supports them "so strongly" that they can't compromise on anything. And if that means that they can't vote for candidates who support those issues because they aren't "good enough" and those issues get set back, well... That's a trade-off they're willing to make!

If there's one pro-choice candidate and one anti-choice candidate and you campaign against the pro-choice candidate because you don't think their support is strong enough, knowing that the alternative is the anti-choice candidate... I feel like you're not that pro-choice?

Or if you have one candidate who wants to maintain LGBT rights and one who wants to roll them back, and you oppose the pro-LGBT candidate because they don't want to... add 3 new sex markers to government IDs, but the other candidate wants to make it impossible to change the sex marker on your government ID at all... I don't think you're actually being very supportive of LGBT rights?

People are addicted to trying to find a way out of the trolley problem. Sometimes you do indeed have to decide whether or not to pull the lever and yes, sometimes somebody is going to die because of your choice. Voting is harm reduction

Can't decide whether it's funnier to say "my hungry ass could never work at a" and then say something that implies you're eating something truly grotesque or something that just, makes no sense

"my hungry ass could never be a brain surgeon" awful. 10/10

"my hungry ass could never be a truck driver" ????? 10/10

EATYIGNIN TIJOK;L'HE????

You're right, that would be shocking.

when i say i like hiking, i don’t mean “eight mile backpacking trip with special gear and an emergency beacon” sort of hiking, i mean a three mile loop to go look at pretty things and then a huge brunch after.

this is in no way a slam on hardcore hiking, it’s very fun, but i mostly just need to lower people’s expectations when i say hiking is a hobby of mine

"No no, that's ranger hiking. I like hobbit hiking."

#you gotta be more specific man#Hobbits are specifically famous for two Really Long Walks

Long Walks Georgs were outliers adn should not have been counted

huh weird.

Can you imagine Pirate King Elizabeth killing people on the high seas and her final words to them are ‘Say hello to my husband’

#the pirate queen kills you and you meet davy jones and he’s eagerly like ‘did elizabeth have a message for me?!’ #you flash back to your bewildered last moment #’…she said jack is teaching your son to shoot’ #‘oh god no’ says davy jones

today was the day we finalized the migration of essential software at work from some old and busted shit that was ready to die at any time, to the new cloud version of the same software that we are no longer responsible for maintaining. which is good because no one was actually maintaining ours. it's just been slowly crufting into unusability for a decade. so anyway they set aside an hour for a teams meeting where they'd walk us through the different interface and how to go through normal processes.

"it's not that big a change," they said. "it's all the same stuff, it just looks a little different," they said.

they did not account for the fact that the primary user of this software is someone who doesn't actually know how it works or what it's doing. they learned how to do their job entirely through rote memorization. they know which buttons they are supposed to press in which order, and that is the full extent of what they know. they also did not account for the fact that this person's processes were learned thirdhand from other people who were not using this software normally to begin with.

it's like. imagine if someone had only ever used tumblr in the app. and you try to get them to use it in a desktop browser, but they cannot figure out how to post. and you go through explaining where the button is and how to format text and add tags, even though you could have sworn it was all the same in the app. but then they're like, "okay, but what's the phone number" and you're like "what" and they're like "the phone number to call to make a post?" and it turns out somehow they still had the ability to post by calling a phone number, and every time they posted on the app they called the post in first and then edited the audio post to transcribe it into text before screenshotting the text for a photo post. and nothing you can say to them will make them understand that none of that is necessary or correct. they shouldn't have even been able to do some of that. they can just type into the post box now, like a civilized person. "okay," they say, "but what is the phone number, though? because when i made my account my friend gave me this checklist and the first thing on it is to call the number."

so anyway we were on that teams call for almost three hours and they still don't have a handle on the new software

details have been changed but i want you to imagine that this software is used in part to record payments and send out updated invoices. in this software there is a special process to send invoices to collections. generally, you use special filters to determine what does and does not get sent off to collections. but this person kept asking that poor trainer to run the collections wizard on all invoices. every one of them. unpaid. paid. brand new. all of them. and the trainer is like. i am not doing that actually. and the person keeps insisting. "i need the report" they keep saying. "this isn't a report" the trainer keeps explaining.

as far as anyone can tell, decades ago, the person who first worked with this software added a custom report that prints before you can run the collections wizard. they would go through that report manually highlighting every invoice going to collections, with a highlighter, because they didn't trust the software. because this was old software without any kind of autosave functionality, they could just abort the collections wizard after they got the report, before doing it again and manually flagging the invoices they highlighted. everyone using this software since then has just. done that. assuming it was necessary for some reason.

"please," the trainer kept saying. "can you tell me what the report is called. what is the report. can you scan the report and send it to me. we can just run the report. we don't need to run the collections wizard. we actually specifically should not. there is no report here. we would need to add that in if you want that. but you won't need to run this wizard to get that report. you can just get it. the report. without doing this."

"it's fine," they kept saying. "i can show you the report. just hit okay on the wizard and it should pop up."

@grison-in-space your tags pass peer review

Having had actual significant success with these people:

You're welcome!

COSIGNED

I have to hand it to Donald Trump, I didn’t think the sequel to the 1932 Great Emu War would be a trade war against the penguin nation but he truly continues to be an innovator in the stupidity industry

For further reading of this absurdity.

Some of you guys have never burned a CD and it shows

Some of you guys don't even realise I don't mean setting a CD on fire

wait i'm curious

Attempting the William Tell shot!

Please note: this is a stunt performed by a professional with a lot of safety precautions! Do not attempt!

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i think when it comes to knowledge gaps (especially on tumblr) its easy to get insecure about not knowing everything. but the real secret is that you can get away with not knowing everything if you just dont insert yourself into conversations you dont understand with blind confidence. the internet also gives you the privilege of 1) googling/wikipediaing shit before you say it, and 2) not volunteering how little you know. you dont actually have to enter the conversation just to say how little you know. part of the stereotype of dipshit stupid american on here is that americans will say full chestedly that they dont know which continent tchad is in and then go out of their way to justify it with their lack of education. when no one asked them to say either thing. and even if someone did ask, you are never under any obligation to actually answer.