The Local Dog Girl

I think the Switch 2 should become the game console version of what Morbius was for movies. An utter flop that was meme’d to hell and back…

Bitch I don’t need no tags for this… this will find a way…

1$ flea market score. Tiny glass 1960s perfume bottles. I love them.

@rainbownightmares @fallingfish

1) Put four pills on each side. The heavier side has the pill. Take the four pills from the heavier side.

2) Put two of the potential pills on each side of the scale. The heavier side has the poison pill.

3) Take the two potential pills. Swallow one. If you survive, you are holding the poison pill. If you die, you have eaten the poisoned pill. Either way you will find out which one it is for sure

1) Weigh 6 of them, 3 on each side 2a) If both sides are equal, weigh the 2 you didn’t use before. 2b) If one side was heavier, pick 2 of the 3 and weigh them. Heavier one is poisoned. If they’re even, it’s the 3rd.

Well, all I can say is that we all have our methods and some of us are more willing to take a risk in the name of science

So turns out…..you guys are not gonna believe this…….but it turns out. Reading real books. Is good for you actually.

Let me be completely clear - I’m not being a sarcastic ass. I’m just realizing all over again, in real time, for myself, that reading a real life published book makes your neurons feel like they’re getting a spa day. Like I can feel my brain getting juicer and wrinklier with every page I turn. This shit is no joke, this is like hard drugs if hard drugs were good for you and made your brain feel revived and alive.

@7redmoon nothing against some good fanfic, I’m a fic author myself, but there’s something very necessary and mentally nourishing about reading a published book that isn’t just a recycled version of the same cast of characters you’re already familiar with.

@911boofer I hope it’s okay I snagged these tags bc YES!!!!! This is what I’m talking about!!! Diversify your palettes, my friends, it’s so so good for you!!

It's true, though. As someone who loves to give away days to a deep dive into fic, you need a well-rounded diet. There are brilliant fic writers out there, both talented hobbyists and award-winning bestselling professionals indulging in some fun, but as stated above, we're all using pre-fab characters/worlds/plots to fiddle around with ideas that interest us. Original fiction draws inspiration from all that comes before it, but still attempts to create something new. It's all the retellings and reboots vs. a new movie.

More than that, even though people like to say "I read fic that's better than anything published!" that's... not widely true. Sometimes it is! But fic is a thing that can go up without editing, without any kind of checks. It can be bad and ungrammatical and typo-riddled and nonsensical, and that's okay! Because fic doesn't have to be in any way good! It's for pure experimentation and fun for the writer.

Traditionally published works, however, are meant to make money. They have multiple sets of trained eyes that try to make the final result the best it can be. Sometimes the final work falls short of that goal, sure, but there are steps to at least try to filter out some of the worst elements, which means you're ingesting and internalizing fewer bad habits, which is crucial when you're trying to figure out how to do this writing thing.

To reiterate, reading actual books means:

Anecdotally, reading a really good book has always made me feel creatively sated to the point that I then feel like I need to release some pressure via writing.

TL;DR: Read widely. Read voraciously. Writers do not live on fic alone.

⚠️this is financial advice⚠️:

never buy anything

Circle avatars were a mistake

Yeah. Who even has an avatar that makes sense in a circle? It's just a waste of space!

screenshot to maintain the punchline since it's still going around

screenshot just to show how much better this post looks with square avatars

first time driving on my own n i brought a friend :))

Hebden Bridge, Calderdale, West Yorkshire (England)

in fair verona, we lay our scene

Cooking up some Agar Sugar Crystal Psitanium. Definitely considering investing in a arrowhead mold to make Sugar Psitanium arrowheads!

Support me on Ko-Fi

I'm the most fuckable crab in the bucket

I finally took the time to photograph my vintage dip pen nib collection, and I need to share with you all how wonderful and diverse their designs are.

These two are my favorite. Just look at them! One of them is named Gorille and the other Mephisto, but to me they're little pumpkins.

And of course you gotta love the Pinocchio nib. You get to write with the nose of a tiny guy! Just not something you get to do anymore.

At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.

Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.

The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"

I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.

Our flight is delayed.

He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.

I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".

Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.

Uh oh.

Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.

The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.

He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.

HE RECORDED THE CONVERSATION IN WHICH SHE PROMISED TO PAY FOR THE CHEESE, SHE'S THAT MUCH OF A FLAKE.

I am about to offer this man cash for some of these cheeses because our flight is now more delayed.

"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."

"OR ELSE WHAT?"

"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"

"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"

"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"

"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"

"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"

*hangs up phone*

*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*

The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.

"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"

Naturally, I have volunteered my box of wheat thins and offered to buy one of the harder cheeses which should be fine if it makes it home.

Meanwhile, Kirigumi has noticed that the Shiba Inu is staring at her and is correctly intimidated.

1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.

2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.

3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.

"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say

"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."

"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.

4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.

"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.

"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"

"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"

"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."

"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."

"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"

"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.

"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.

Plane may be arriving. I am paying for in flight WiFi to keep y'all updated.

1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.

2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.

3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.

4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.

5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.

Ok so the Wifi wasn't working on the plane (also like, nonstop turbulence) and also they got seated in a different row from me, but:

:)

Anyway, it's 2AM, I need to sleep, if you feel like supporting this kind of hard-hitting reporting, I have a Tip Jar!

this is about procrastinating. or executive dysfunction. i think

some favorites

This was exactly what happened to me when I posted my cute tattoo of a caterpillar playing saxophone in the r/Jazz subreddit and I was massacred for being a poser, I was having a bad day already and the backlash to my post was so unexpected I deleted it and left the community, I'm not ashamed of my tattoo or anything, I was just too sensitive and anxious about my own life to be roasted about such a small thing by strangers (and they were validating each other in the replies) I was confused, how do that people could not realize what a weird reaction they were having to such a small thing... funny thing is I haven't listen to jazz ever since

Don't let those weirdos discourage you from a beautiful art form such as jazz. They'll have a rude awakening once they have to communicate in real life with people or stay festering in a Reddit hellhole.

Thank you for the kind words, I saw you were interested in seeing the tattoo so here you go, those were the exact same pictures I posted on reddit, it was done by a professional using the stick and poke technique, so there was no machine involved, hope you like my little jazzy caterpillar!