In NO WAY am I comparing what Transgender people are going through in North Carolina to what Black Americans went through before and during the Civil Rights Movement. And arguably, today.
However, having shown my oldest child the great Jackie Robinson biopic "42" before I came out to family, work, neighborhood and town - so she could get an idea of how ugly people CAN BE to others they've not met before or do not understand - I never actually thought that a few scenes in the movie could be played out in my own life some day. Fortunately, my life has been blessed and nothing like the abuse heaped on Jackie Robinson or even other Transgender people.
In less than forty-eight hours, my little family and I will be heading down I-95 through Virginia towards Charlotte, North Carolina to visit family for a previously scheduled Easter vacation trip. Yes, the Antebellum South.
When arranging this trip a few months ago, our intention was to reconnect ourselves with some family members who have kids who are our own kids' ages and for some of our Carolina relatives to meet the real me for the first time and see how happy we are together. In actuality, this trip will include the first family dinner for me and my little family since I came out as Transgender eight months ago. As I have two older siblings with their own families living locally and we weren't invited for Christmas to their homes or at any other time since... this is a BIG trip for us.
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| North Carolina Governor McCrory (R) |
Yes, I am worried and admittedly stressing out more than I probably should.
We have planned out our stops a bit and will stay in Richmond, VA overnight to break up our drive to North Carolina. I found this really cool App/Google Maps site with NC Safe Bathrooms on it: http://www.engadget.com/2016/03/29/online-map-for-north-carolina-transgender-bathrooms/ and will be consulting it. Virginia doesn't have such an App, but Richmond is the state capital of Virginia and we are staying at a major chain hotel.
We'll be staying with family for the two nights in Charlotte, so we shouldn't have to worry much about public restrooms unless we have to stop at a rest area or some other government office/entity. Or we go to a restaurant or business where the owner/manager takes issue to our same-sex marriage or my totally cool trans-ness.
The great Black American Freedom Riders and Black North Carolinians could not avoid trouble in North Carolina because of the way they looked and where they came from. I only have to worry about going to the ladies room and making sure my walk, talk, look and gestures are all what is expected. At most, I could be ticketed for a misdemeanor and unless I resist a law enforcement officer's direction - I'll be able to move along without much trouble. But I look pretty harmless, I'm not looking for trouble and my wife and kids will be with me. Though, something is stirring in me to fight, lead and help our fellow Transgender men and women in North Carolina while I am there.
Perhaps the best way that I can help is to just be a good example of "regularity" and try to meet/change the minds (if needed) of my relatives' friends and neighbors. Where they live is a hamlet full of Yankees so that shouldn't be hard. I will keep my eyes and ears open and if I see any, I will thank the local businesses supporting me and my Transgender Tribe.
I'll do my best, keep my head clear and try to represent us well. Just like Jackie Robinson, whom our oldest child is doing a book report on for school (total coincidence!). God works in mysterious ways, but I didn't think my kids would ever get to see discrimination up close and personal.
My job ends in six weeks and no bites on my resume... we'll see. If you pray over the next few days, please do include my family and our brave Tribal members in North Carolina and everywhere else. Take care.
